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Old 03-30-09   #1
Lenina
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Have any of you had your heart broken?

Honestly, I would like to ask this because I am going through a seperation with my boyfriend. I'm really hurt and confused.

Have any of you had your heart broken and if so, what did you?
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Old 03-30-09   #2
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I too have felt the sting of a taut thread cut. Back then I used to pour my emotion into something constructive, and, my drawing ability not being that good, this mainly used to be poetry. I've looked back on some of it and found some really dark stuff, stuff verging on embarressingly 'emo'.
If you consider yourself a writer, artist, or creator of any art, I personally recommend throwing yourself into it.
I remind myself that I was fuelled by the magnified angst of adolecence (he says, still being only currently 18). Of course, I have no idea how strongly you feel, but it might turn out that the results become highly personal, so I wouldn't worry if you feel reluctant to release it to the world.

Maybe I'm talking bollocks, but there's my penny's worth.
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Old 03-30-09   #3
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He cheated on me .
So I gave all his clothes to goodwill and
slept with his best friend .

Then I cried for 3 weeks ,
gained 10 kg and hated all men .

After 3 months I went out for a drink with friends
( they had to drag me along )
saw him , and wondered what I ever saw in him .

We were together for 3 years . . .


That's how I dealed with it ,
everyone reacts different .
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Old 03-30-09   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenina View Post
Honestly, I would like to ask this because I am going through a seperation with my boyfriend. I'm really hurt and confused.

Have any of you had your heart broken and if so, what did you?
Yes. I then slept with Pyrric Dicktory. Damn my libido.

Drop me a text or call or something.
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Old 03-30-09   #5
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Maybe we should go up north, Toz.
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Old 03-30-09   #6
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I had my heart broken a couple times, it comes and goes.
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Old 05-11-09   #7
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Tis a lesson most everyone will have to learn. The harshest lesson to learn is to let go. However it is a lesson that must be learned for in life there is much that we gain and just as much we leave behind. I'm sorry you're hurt. But it is a pain that is felt by a lot of people. Moving on is all that you can do. Sure you can go off and wallow in misery for sometime as long as you learn that eventually you must come out of it. Look for other outlets to distract you and don't forget that time alone is time learning about yourself and figuring out what you want in life and not just in a partner. Learn to stand on your own before standing with someone else. Love isn't a crutch to always lean on.
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Old 05-11-09   #8
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heh...n00b @ XeirithDarkhymn

lenina, if you ever decide to drop your man again I will totally come to the UK and eat your pea-pie supper.... think about it.
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Old 05-12-09   #9
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*smiles wistfully*

Ah, yes...

Near the end of my first year in college, I met a gorgeous pixie of a woman from a small town in southeastern Minnesota. Dark eyes, dark hair, alabaster skin. She was small town, but she had a world-weariness to her that appealed to me right off. She was a friend of a friend, and she had no horrible skeletons or personality quirks. I was a year removed from my mom leaving my stepfather, enough time to get my act together and stop wallowing in worry and self-pity (finances would cause me to drop out of college the next year).

We had a great time for most of a year. We partied, hung out, had adventures, and explored each other in ways neither of us had ever explored another. It looked to everyone around us that we were, and would continue to be, the perfect couple. When she invited her sister up for a week-long visit, I got along great with her. This was good, because my then-girlfriend had already invited me to go down to her home town to meet her family. I had spent months showing her the city, and I was looking forward to getting a look at the places where she grew up.

A few days after her sister went back home, things started to change. She started to become withdrawn, she wouldn't answer my calls, even her friends didn't know what was going on. I didn't find out for about a week what the problem was.

After her sister had returned home, she had gotten a call from her mother. It seemed that I was being uninvited to visit. Apparently, her mom had a "No Niggers" policy when it came to who she associated herself with, something my girlfriend had never known about. Not only was she crushed and embarrassed by this, but her family had begun to pressure her to break things off with me. It took another couple of weeks, but the damage had been done. She came by one day and told me that we were through.

Not only was this was my first experience with being dumped, it was my first direct experience with racism. So I got the trifecta: rejection on two different levels, topped off with a broken heart.

Give that man a prize...

Anyway, as they say, time heals all wounds. The only way to deal with a broken heart is to pick yourself up and put some distance between what was and what is. A new look, new experiences, new interests, all of these things help you move on and allow you to write a new chapter in your life, one that has nothing to do with your ex. It's time rediscover what the sum of your parts really is, and redefine who you are.


- Heretic
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Old 05-12-09   #10
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damn dude, thats actually really shitty. usually this is where we mock the new people for whatever reason, but that was a really sad story so I will refrain (for now).

im a white guy, but I grew up in asia... so I feel you on the whole "you cant date HIS kind" mentality. shitty indeed.

on a side note - you didnt experience racism until college? holy fuck, did you live under a rock?
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Old 05-12-09   #11
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Quote:
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on a side note - you didnt experience racism until college? holy fuck, did you live under a rock?
Close enough. I was born and raised in Minnesota, a scion of families that had been here and in the Dakotas since the 1870s (a favorite family saying is: "When Mr. Lincoln said we could get up and go, we got up and went"). Per capita, Minnesota is the second-whitest state in the union right behind Utah. As you may have heard, the predominantly Scandinavian population here isn't very demonstrative. If they don't like you, they simply ignore you. Bigotry here isn't shouted from the rooftops or waved like a flag; it hides in silence and disapproving glances.

On top of that, I went to private schools. It very wasn't difficult for my mother to shelter us. But while she had good intentions, her efforts left me completely unprepared for college life in the Midwest, where I ended up getting it from both sides with equal malice. Mine was a more academic view of racism; I'd heard stories and read plenty of history, but I had never had anyone do or say anything to me...until that point. And then, things really started to happen.

Oh, the stories I could tell...


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Old 05-12-09   #12
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which just goes to prove my point: people suck, its a human condition.

and my other point: Lenina, I want to have your baby.... in a totally for citizenship kind of way.
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Old 05-12-09   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heretic View Post
*smiles wistfully*

Ah, yes...

Near the end of my first year in college, I met a gorgeous pixie of a woman from a small town in southeastern Minnesota. Dark eyes, dark hair, alabaster skin. She was small town, but she had a world-weariness to her that appealed to me right off. She was a friend of a friend, and she had no horrible skeletons or personality quirks. I was a year removed from my mom leaving my stepfather, enough time to get my act together and stop wallowing in worry and self-pity (finances would cause me to drop out of college the next year).

We had a great time for most of a year. We partied, hung out, had adventures, and explored each other in ways neither of us had ever explored another. It looked to everyone around us that we were, and would continue to be, the perfect couple. When she invited her sister up for a week-long visit, I got along great with her. This was good, because my then-girlfriend had already invited me to go down to her home town to meet her family. I had spent months showing her the city, and I was looking forward to getting a look at the places where she grew up.

A few days after her sister went back home, things started to change. She started to become withdrawn, she wouldn't answer my calls, even her friends didn't know what was going on. I didn't find out for about a week what the problem was.

After her sister had returned home, she had gotten a call from her mother. It seemed that I was being uninvited to visit. Apparently, her mom had a "No Niggers" policy when it came to who she associated herself with, something my girlfriend had never known about. Not only was she crushed and embarrassed by this, but her family had begun to pressure her to break things off with me. It took another couple of weeks, but the damage had been done. She came by one day and told me that we were through.

Not only was this was my first experience with being dumped, it was my first direct experience with racism. So I got the trifecta: rejection on two different levels, topped off with a broken heart.

Give that man a prize...

Anyway, as they say, time heals all wounds. The only way to deal with a broken heart is to pick yourself up and put some distance between what was and what is. A new look, new experiences, new interests, all of these things help you move on and allow you to write a new chapter in your life, one that has nothing to do with your ex. It's time rediscover what the sum of your parts really is, and redefine who you are.


- Heretic
That's pretty fucked up, man. I had something similar happen with this guy I was dating who was of Lebanese descent. He was in the US Air Force, but this was right after 9/11, tension was at a high, and it was the deep south. But I don't do "love" anymore, so I can't relate to the heartbreak thing. Welcome to DF, by the way. I drop the "N" bomb with regularity. Don't take it personally.
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Old 05-12-09   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenina View Post
Honestly, I would like to ask this because I am going through a separation with my boyfriend. I'm really hurt and confused.

Have any of you had your heart broken and if so, what did you?
Moved on.

It sucked, it was painful. But I had to. Besides, once it dawns on you that the person you've held so high for years is actually a fraudulent piece of shit, you don't really have an option.
Someone called the suicide hotline on me when they found I'd been dumped by my ex. Most would know I'm not like that at all, but someone's "kind" thoughts actually made the problem worse, not better. Nothing like having some random stranger trying to squeeze info out of you. Salt in the wound much.

There's a lot of things I could say about ex's and what I'd like to do to them if I saw them again, but I've come to the conclusion, it's easier to forget them and move up the ladder, rather than hold grudges and take the slippery slope into depression.

Find someone else. I did, and she fucken rocks my world.
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Old 05-13-09   #15
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I am going thru a particularly bad indefinite separation right now, and I have been listening to this over and over - it helps.

"If I wanted to be repeatedly shit on I would go make dutch porn....." fucking classic

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Old 05-13-09   #16
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ah
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Old 05-13-09   #17
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Ah? That's it?
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Old 05-13-09   #18
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ya, iggy you are a tool. now shut the fuck up and go away.

shoo n00b shoo
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Old 05-13-09   #19
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if he keeps doing the 1-3 word post thing repeatedly, he may not be here long anyways..
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Old 05-13-09   #20
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may the ban hammer commence - see "men of DF thread"
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