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Reload this Page fucking mutant children
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Old 11-14-07   #1
ArSiNiK
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fucking mutant children

i’m not sure how many of you have been following the story of the 2 year old indian girl who was born with eight limbs, but it definitely piqued my interest. not so much piqued my interest in a medical way, more like piqued my interest in a what the fuck kind of way. Spider Baby (as i’ll refer to this shit stain of a human from now on) first climbed her way onto my TV about a week ago and refuses to get off every single morning, mid day and nightly news broadcast.





before you wag your finger at me and call me an inhumane dick, let me come right out and say this – i like mutants. i like teenage mutants of the ninja turtle variety, i like X-men mutants with their never ending movie series and i like that other mutant, corky, from life goes on. i have to draw the line with this indian cross-chromosomed child thing and her refusal to get off my fucking television though.


from what i understand this mutant ate her sibling while they were both in utero, which i can respect to a certain extent, but in a sick diabolical twist she only ate the siblings head and torso. then as if she’s some sort of tiny indian version of macgyver and dr. house she fused the remaining legs and arms to herself, creating what we all know now as fucking Spider Baby. go back and reread that if it didn’t sink in the first time, she FUSED the fucking legs and arms to herself. seriously, who does that?


being the giant bags of helpful human douche that we are, a crack team of 36 doctors was assembled in order to spend 27 hours in surgery yanking the extra mutant arms and legs off of this punjab procreation. the cost? who cares what the monetary value of an operation like that is, now i get to hear about the yearly dateline updates on this ex-mutant for years.


i’ve got a better plan, let’s grab Spider Baby by one of her mutant little legs and dip her in a vat of green radioactive shit slime. with enough shaking and dips maybe we can mutate her further into something that i’ll actually enjoy seeing on my trusty television for the next fucking 10 years:


















tozzy: yeah, yeah.. tl;dr.
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Old 11-15-07   #2
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actually, i read it all.

something long from you is worth reading, so i stuck it out, and ' lmao'd ' aplenty.

the title got me a few times though, wondering if, you'd come out with anything about some child molester spearing her, and trying to work out which slot to spear her in. though i guess you've got a few years to wait before the Paparazzi get the scoop on her in bed.

and anyway, why didn't someone just leave them on? she'd be good working in a post office, or a zoo or circus. and if she play her cards right, kaufman could give her a part in the next toxic avenger movie. she'd be the most convincing prop Troma has ever seen!

she'd get more opportunities for the press to spew mass upon vomitous mass of story about her in her work. getting fired for squeezing some dude's jewels with her fourth hand whilst making tea and sorting mail in the office. or getting a job in a las vegas casino working the blackjack table, roulette table and craps all at the same time. or perhaps something like winning an athletics race or becoming a crazy ass gymnast or something.

i'd love to have more than two arms. that shit would rock.

[for all you tree hugging types - don't take any of this shit seriously.]

Last edited by dk123; 11-15-07 at 10:18.
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Old 11-15-07   #3
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Old 11-15-07   #4
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interesting that a culture that has many limbed gods, would be so eager to remove the extra limbs...i suppose it's better than making her a human diety?

and i'd like to have a second pair of arms to, i may look freaky but could do twice the stuff i enjoy.
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Old 11-15-07   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordyn View Post
interesting that a culture that has many limbed gods, would be so eager to remove the extra limbs...i suppose it's better than making her a human diety?

and i'd like to have a second pair of arms to, i may look freaky but could do twice the stuff i enjoy.
Probably because they aren't as backwards as you think they are, and because there's lots of doctors in India and any doctor knows that its close to impossible for a person to pump enough blood or eat enough nourishment on 1 stomach to sustain a parasitic twin.
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