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Old 08-09-07   #1
bitch
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Question Am I really that bad?

Okay, so no one here knows me because I haven't posted in a few years I'm sure, but it's like this:

I left the father of my 18 month old son for Jason, and he dumped me today. He only lasted 7 months. I was absolutely sure that he was everything I wanted and he was certain that I was the girl of his dreams, but he packed up his shit today and left. He says he'll be back tomorrow to get the rest and I don't know if I should stop him from leaving or if I should let him go.

We fight about money because he quit 2 jobs shortly after we got together and hasn't really made an attempt to find work since. I don't agree with his reasons for quitting them either. Part of his appeal was his reliability. In other words, I desperately need a daddy figure (not for my son, but for me) and he wasn't doing it for me. I need stability. I need to be taken care of. Someone that just up and quits his job without notice twice in the span of two months isn't going to get the job done. I can't afford to pay his bills on top of my own so we're both at each other's throats because we're worried about money. Financially, I'd be much better off without him.

We fight about my attitude. I don't like to talk in the car. I don't like to pause movies (except under EXTREME circumstances). I don't like D&D because I don't really know what I'm doing and don't want to make an ass out of myself in front of his friends. I have no problem with gamers, but when he's got 6 circles on his monitor taking over his life (some new game called Travian) and Rune Scape or Magic online on my laptop at the same time, I tend to get annoyed. I like to make fun of people, it's what I do. It's fun. I pick on the people I like. We all joke around, but he gets annoyed.

We don't communicate. I have really tried to talk to him, and he really never shuts up about how he's feeling, but we keep talking and say nothing. If I say "you need to get a job, we're not making it", he'll say "I can't, we need another vehicle to do that". If I say "you need to get up north and sell your house", he'll say "I can't be without you for that long." With him, it's always emotion. With me, it's what makes sense to me, what I'll benefit from.

I know that I am mean to him, but he makes me feel stupid. I should've known better than to go for someone smarter than me, but he has a great ass. I've never seen a better boy butt in my life! Okay, so there's an intense physical connection that I would really hate to give up because I've always been bored by now and I'm not. Also, when he's in the mood to love me, he makes me feel like a goddess. He'll just stop whatever he's doing and mouth "wow". I love that. I just wish he'd loosen up and stop taking this all so seriously. He knew that I was a bitch when we met at work, I didn't lie or hide myself at all for him and he still went for it, so why is he so suprised that I am mean?

I guess I'm confused because I really don't like him at all personally. Matter of fact I might hate him a little, but I love parts of him so much that I don't know if I can bear to let him go. Any thoughts?
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Old 08-16-07   #2
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Passion is nice, but you gotta eat. It sounds like he's already made up your mind by moving out. As someone whose POS dad left when I was a kid, I'd say don't believe that "a bad dad is better than no dad at all". Your son will be fine. Be stable for him, and maybe you'll find you don't need a guy for your own stability.

Do you have relatives who can help if finances get thin?
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Old 08-17-07   #3
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You need either no-one and just concentrate on your son or someone who actually has a backbone. You are not a mean person; you have a brilliant sense of humour and a pretty well rounded view of the world. Even if you would rather be thought of as mean, I still don't think you are. The things you do, taking the piss out of friends, not talking in the car, not liking D & D, not wanting to pause films, I do all those things and I'm one of the nicest people anyone could meet. BUT some people think I'm a bitch because I'm honest and I stand up for myself. So if you do any of the other things I do - tell people who phone with surveys that it's none of their business, tell people when they've just said something patronising or assholish, refuse to be treated like a child just because I'm female - then you're not mean, you're strong.

I think this one might not have been meant to work, regardless of butt cuteness. Find a guy with a strong backbone and his butt'll probably be even nicer. Just try to find an actual man not a doormat.
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Old 08-22-07   #4
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I agree with Doe, for the most part.

I hate D&D too, and for the exact same reasons. And the fact that the guys want him constantly. I'll be hanging out with him, and neither of us have a car, so they pick him up from his house and won't take me home. They leave me at his house with no ride home and a walk on country roads for 5 miles.

Fucking D&D.

Sorry, I got off track.

But anyway...I think you should find someone who cares about your wants and needs and those of your son, because he should be the number one thing in your life and become a major part of their life, as well.
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Old 08-23-07   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MedusaMadonna View Post
I agree with Doe, for the most part.

I hate D&D too, and for the exact same reasons. And the fact that the guys want him constantly. I'll be hanging out with him, and neither of us have a car, so they pick him up from his house and won't take me home. They leave me at his house with no ride home and a walk on country roads for 5 miles.

Fucking D&D.

Sorry, I got off track.

But anyway...I think you should find someone who cares about your wants and needs and those of your son, because he should be the number one thing in your life and become a major part of their life, as well.
Your showing a biased view..
But i agree with the basic content..
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Old 08-24-07   #6
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My emotions usually breed bias to some extent. I guess it's just how I am.
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Old 08-24-07   #7
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Heh, Sunday, friends, as well as my son, are doing Gurps!

Now to point out a 'different' perspective to the subject.

I gave up almost all internet access for just over a month for the female i was involved with.
37 days after i stopped, i checked my email ( 3 tons of messages ) and logged in here as well. posted a couple of comments, and then played the game i was involved in at the time for a whole of 20 minutes. Just to be 'told' that i was paying more attention to it than her..
But why he wanted to leave is still a mystery..
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Beware the ex's.. They ARE out to get you...

Nice guys finish last
It isn't just a saying.. It's a fact of life!

Those things that produced your ex......you know, the bitchmakers! Metagion

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

You're not who you are, you're only what other people think you are

Your more Delusional than you think I am! {Duck Dodgers}

Last edited by Uncletiggs; 08-29-07 at 10:02. Reason: typo's
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Old 08-29-07   #8
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Wouldn't that be she at the end there Tiggs? Anyways in a way I know how you feel because I do have a daughter, only her mother dumped me because I had to move from there back to the state I had moved from, and I guess she couldn't handle things, which started a whole chain of events that led to us not speaking for over 4 years, and me not getting to see my little girl. Though all that did change about a week after her 4th birthday.

At any rate, what you should do will show its self sooner or later, if it hasn't already. Yes he did seem to accept you for who you are when you got together, but in many ways it just seems that he is trying to keep you around for his own gain. It kinda seems he has you by the proverbial balls, and knows it, and will not let go. Decisions, decisions.
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Old 08-29-07   #9
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LOL no.. Her 'he', not my ex she..
But you made me notice a typo!!
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Beware the ex's.. They ARE out to get you...

Nice guys finish last
It isn't just a saying.. It's a fact of life!

Those things that produced your ex......you know, the bitchmakers! Metagion

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

You're not who you are, you're only what other people think you are

Your more Delusional than you think I am! {Duck Dodgers}
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Old 09-04-07   #10
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if i can let a man go that i absolutely love and treats me like a queen; for his family needs, rather than any problems between us; than why in the world can't a girl let a guy go that seems to make her more unhappy than happy?

these situations go beyond the geeky gamers, much like i married and on past to what a person needs to grow, as a human, and in this case...more importantly; as a mother.

if you're pretty, why worry about a having a man in your bed, you can have them anytime and any place, with appropriate babysitting.

the fact is that, you can always find someone to suit your wants, the trick is finding the one to complete your needs, that's when it comes time to ponder the path of the relationship.

your needs are obviously not being met...even if you like the pretty wrapping, why keep an empty box?
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Old 09-04-07   #11
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That was well said Jordyn.
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Beware the ex's.. They ARE out to get you...

Nice guys finish last
It isn't just a saying.. It's a fact of life!

Those things that produced your ex......you know, the bitchmakers! Metagion

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

You're not who you are, you're only what other people think you are

Your more Delusional than you think I am! {Duck Dodgers}
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