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Old 08-15-05   #1
meangel_13
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my life could be a tv show

Lets see... Today was ok till my room mate came home in a horrible mood. So after re arranging the furniture again, (something neither me or his bf could understand but he does it all the time) his bf and I went to get some dinner for all of us. Well on the way we discussed what's up him. Both of us are concerned, but I've been through it with rick before. I don't think jeff is gonna be able to deal with it. I also don't feel like they'll last long together. They tried before and it ended badly. Jeff was originally my friend, then i met rick and the 3 of us spent a lot of time together. Then jeff got mad at rick and I was stuck in the middle. Rick wanted to put distance between the 2 of us so i wouldn't lose jeffs friendship over him. I explained to both that I refused to take a side. Upon hearing, Jeff turned his back on me the next day and then got extreamly upset when rick and i moved in together. now we are buying a house together and jeff has grown up some and is back with rick (something i feel is a mistake but i'm not about to voice it to them). i'm not even starting on all the little crap that went on during the 6 months that jeff was mad at us, including the accusation of rick and i sleeping together. which is something my mom is completley sure is going on. My words to her are that she needs to clean out her bed before she tries to clean out mine, considering the man who supposably loves her so much forced her to choose between her daughter and him, which is one of the reasons i ended up moving into a 3 room apt. with rick in the first place. But as if my day wasn't completley my mom had to all and begin lecturing me on how i can have the money to bail rick out of jail but i cant give her any when she needs it. She get me mad and upset so when i hang up and she calls back rick answers and tells to her lay off (although not that nicely) then he let her know that until she calmed down she wasn't going to talk to me and that he had no problem hanging up on her. So now shes trying to make me choose between her/my family or my room mate. but my family likes rick better than they do her bf. they see that i'm happier since i moved out and that rick is willing to take care of me when she starts stuff and is supportive of my going back to school (i had to drop out of college when she threw me out, now i'm having problems getting financial aid because i'm still classified a dependant on her and she won't give me her tax info to get help paying for school, and every fin. aid offices i've talked to said they can't help me until i'm 24, married or have a kid) and her bf is just a jerk who makes her miserable and the family hates. so the way i look at it, i can either choose the man who has made me happy, who is supportive, caring and someone i can lean on, or i can choose the bitch that ignored me unless it was convinent for her, left me with a mentally abusive father because she had better things to do, was mentally abusive to me herself, the person that gave me 2 weeks to find another place to live or else her bf was going to leave her, then got mad when i moved out (she wanted me to beg to stay so she could have complete control and then i'd need her), the woman who didn't want me to go to college because she doesn't want me to be any better off in life than she is, and who is completely obsessed with the world revolving around her and her having control of everyone she is around. The woman who said well ricks in jail, you've got his car, and his paycheck, to either pack my stuff and move back home or pack his stuff and throw him out either way to leave him. the woman who got a phone call the day after i quit my job, from my ex-boss saying rick threw me out, so she shows up at my front door with my grandmother asking if i was ok, if he hit me, asking me if i needed help packing and assuring me that she brought the van so she could help me move my things. the woman who decided to lecture rick about the 2 of us sleeping together (we've slept in the same bed together, slept, thats it) and that we shouldn't be living together because of the age difference and that he needs to get his life together. Then gets mad at him when he tells her that the relationship me and him have together is our business not hers, that we've been together for 9 months and we're fine, and that any problems we might encounter we'll work out because he isn't gonna let me end up leaving and having to move back with her.

so... after looking at the details i've decided that the next time she calls or shows up telling me i need to choose i'm going to tell her i'm gonna make the same choice she did, i'll choice the man in my life over the other.

I feel so much better now... although i've only hit the tip of most of the situations.

Although the real "show" started about 6 years ago, it got extreamly interesting when i met rick a year ago and started having an actual life of my own. started making friends, going out with friends, not being isolated at home in my room all the time. my mom started getting worse when i started going out with my friends. yet allowed rick and jeff to move in with me at her house (her house was actually barable after they moved in) till rick met me and jeff in town one day and said he refused to go back (my mom decided she didn't like him all of a sudden because her bf didn't like him) I had to go get his cloths and take to him. he didn't set foot back on her property till the night we moved into our apt, and he helped me move.

But i'm just interested to see what some of the future episodes contain.
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Old 08-16-05   #2
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Wow,thats alot of weight to bare on your back.Well,you've come back to the right place to let them go.I hope you find time to relax,and whatnot,let some of the tension,go.Its a great idea your going back to college,keep at it,It'll buy you a ticket into a better future.
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Old 08-16-05   #3
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yeah, i think i'm getting to a better time in my life. i owe rick a lot. he saved my life and i'm not sure he knows it. we lean on each other a lot but i'm pretty sure the stuff between him and jeff is gonna get nasty again and i know saying anything to either of them is only gonna make it worse. So i'll just keep my mouth shut and be there for rick if things go sour agian (i think deep down he knows it will, he made a comment to me the other day that kinda support my theory in it)

school will be good, the work won't be hard, but getting help paying for it is. i'm already going to miss this semester. rick even offered for me to use his income for the forms but the school won't accept it. has to be my mothers even though she threw me out about 8 months ago, but we're still trying to figure out what we can do
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Old 08-16-05   #4
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Your mum sounds like she has some issues, but it does sound like she cares about you. How big is the age difference between you and rick anyway? If my teenage daughter with no money were bailing old men out of jail, I'd be a little worried too...
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Old 08-16-05   #5
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he's 33 and i'm 19
but we actually had money. after we got settled into the apt and were doing ok with everything, we started saving money together. thats what i used to bail him out of jail.
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Old 08-16-05   #6
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might one ask what he was arrested for??
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Old 08-16-05   #7
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bad checks from when he broke up with his ex (messy issue) and the fines were suppose to be taken out of his paycheck, well the store he works for messed up and took the paper work (it shouldn't have been at his store, it was suppose to be sent directly to corperate) well he was sent a notice to apear in court, his manager signed for it, and threw it in the garbage (he didn't like rick) so it ended up being a big mess, but it's being taken care of now. rather than deal with his work we take the money directly to the court, although they did mess up twice that landed him back in jail each time, stupid people
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Old 08-17-05   #8
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Today went very well.
Rick and I spent most of the day together (we don't get to do that very often), tomorrow will be the same. Although I think his bf is kinda jealous. I'm still pretty good friends with him but i think he gets kinda jealous about me and rick spending time together. he used to be really bad about it, when rick and i would go out to eat or get coffee and he wouldn't be able to go cause he had to get up early in the morning, he'd end up getting jealous. then when the 2 of us were alone he'd want to know everything that was said and if we talked about him at all. he's not that bad now but i think he will be. ricks opinion (cause he's starting to realize it a little) is that he needs to get over it and that he needs to understand that we (rick and i) have been through a lot together, leaned on each other a lot, we own things together and are about $33,000 in debt together.
I think it bothers him (the bf) that rick doesn't really wanna do all that with him. He got screwed over because of him and his ex doing stuff like that. but rick is willing to do all that with me. Rick isn't worried about me and him "spliting" apart. But his bf has already split with him once. And that was nasty enough and now they are back together.
But the 3 of us do alot of things together, we always have (as long as one of us was talking to the other 2), we went to bingo last night, and tonight we went out to dinner. Rick tries to get me to go with them a lot, and many times i don't because i know how his bf gets jealous (keep in mind this isn't all the time, but a very good portion of it) But a lot of times rick says he really wants me to go with them, so sometimes i do.
We also went and had coffee with ricks mom (something else his bf wasn't overly thrilled about, cause he didn't get to go).
the only bad thing about today was we came home to the house smelling really funky... came to find out our refigorator quit.
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Old 08-21-05   #9
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when you say "bf" you do mean best friend and NOT boyfriend right?...or not? I can't figure it.
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Old 08-21-05   #10
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i mean his boyfriend
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Old 08-22-05   #11
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they were a gay couple is what she is saying masochist. hopefully that has helped you to understand.
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Old 08-26-05   #12
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ok... over the last few days, our fridge quit, so i had to get a new one, then i went to get new groceries, came home and lost my car key, we've torn the house apart about 8 times looking for it and still can't find it. Went with rick to court where they are giving him the run around so we had to make an appointment to talk to the states attorney, after that we need to decide if we need to hire a lawyer. the fun part was we left from ricks job, drove the 2 hrs to make it to court and walked into the room as they were calling his name. before driving home we went walking around a few stores, got told we made a cute couple. so we drove home but on the way, rick got called back into work so we went to his job were i sat for 3 hrs while he worked (not that big a deal though).
but last night was my first night back to work in over a week, but still no car key so i was going to drive ricks car, got on the highway, and his car quite about a mile from the rest area. finally i got it started and ended up coasting into the rest area and having to wait for my grandma, who has never driven on the interstate to pick me up and take me to work.
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Old 08-31-05   #13
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well life is just wonderful...

jeff got a taste of what it's like dealing with ricks legal stuff. the three of us got up and went to court this morning...
he's back in jail... a county said that he never appeared in court, yet we were never notified of a court date, and anytime we try to find out when he has court from them, they give us the run around and either say call back later or we'll get in touch with u when it's set.
but this county has caused a lot of problems... they neglected to send his bail money for another county, so he was arrest a second time because they said he never posted bond the first time.
it's annoying, but we should be able to bail him out this afternoon, $500.

but other than that things are good.
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Old 09-05-05   #14
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today was fun for the most part
i had some issues at work this morning, but rick stoped by and asked me to go out to his moms after work. which was great
the downfall i think i made my dad kinda mad. he called and asked what i was doing after work, and when i told him i was going to ricks parents for a cookout, he brought up that i could go down there but i wouldn't go to his parents for a cookout. (i can't stand my dads mom)
but my dads family doesn't want me at their family gatherings, ricks family does
it was nice. rick, his parents, his bf and i had dinner then went next door and had coffee with the neighbors

it's days like this that i feel my life is actually coming together and i can actually gage how much my life has changed in a year.
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Old 09-27-05   #15
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i feel so lost today, i lost my home, and i feel as though i've lost those closest to me. rick is being forced to move back to his parents while i am left homeless. i'm going to be staying with my dad for a while, isn't that great. (my dad wanted nothing to do with me for nearly 18 years. he and my mother finally got divorced when i was 16 and he told the judge he could care less if he saw me or not, then nearly 2 1/2 years later he was laying on what could have been his death bed when he decided he wanted to be in my life. now he wants to be my like one of my best friends, which is weird, but i have made a great effort to include him in my life now) rick and i will still talk everyday and see each other about everyday but we won't be living together. we both feel as though our worlds have collapsed around us and in many aspects they have. although we plan to move back in together in january. my mothers rants and fight sessions continue. but that will soon stop (she no longer has my phone number and so she calls and complains to rick, who is switching phones with his mom, so that should be interesting) our blows got worse today when jeff (ricks boyfriend) decided to leave. (that was before rick was forced to move back home, and i do mean forced) that hit rick extreamly hard. but jeff insists that they are not breaking up, but he can't deal with all the stuff going on, it's TOO stressful on him (my opinion is welcome to life) i don't think the relationship will last after this, and i don't think rick does either, which worries me since it's upset rick so much, on top of everything else. i voiced my opinion to rick of how i feel that jeff takes off when things get back, although in a way i see his reasoning for it this time, i still think it's pretty crappy. rick understood my point and didn't hold it against me for feeling that way, (he is begining to wonder the same thing)
but rick is letting me keep benji (our/his puppy)
by the way, we got evicted is the problem
we would have been ok if we could have made it to the begining of the year. but now we (rick and i) are going to take time to get on our feet and then find another place.
his fines and everything will be paid off in january. so after that is done everything will be ok. i find comfort that we will still remain close, and i think we will, we were extreamly close before we lived together and the way we interact with each other should allow that to continue.
but until then i will be at my dads till i can get a few things paid then will be moving into one of the local motels with weekly rates (yippy) my dad is going to help me a great deal with support (both morally and financially) and rick intents to help financially with what he can, it might not be much, but it will help. (seeing as on a good week he can make about 3 times as much as i do, but that still isn't much)
well there is my update, its been a rocky month, but i hope everyone else is having a much better time than i am
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Old 12-02-05   #16
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well isn't life just wonderful. i've been staying at my moms. i'm currently living in her basement. it's a combo of my grandmas doing and my dads. but i'm here and it'll be about another month till i can move again because once again, it's kind of a "merry christmas, get the hell out of my house" thing. after all both my mother and her bf are unhappy that i'm here. and its my fault that her bf got mad the other night after i supposably said something to him that made him mad so he went out, got drunk, my mom caught him at another womans house (an ex of his) he got mad cause he got caught, busted out the window on his car, back the car into his truck that my mom was driving, and pretty much well flew to the house at 80 mph, threw stuff around the house, broke a bunch of his stuff, including his laptop, and broke the glass doors on his stero stand before my mom "threw him out" well he was back the next night and he's here now. but it's my fault.

so i am a worthless piece of crap that will never amount to anything

i'm also getting screamed at for talking to rick, seeing him, or having anything that is ours (mine and his) including the dog. (rick let me keep our puppy)
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Old 02-27-06   #17
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I finally got the internet back. Well after moving again. But I'm not even unpacking all my stuff since I'm going to move in about 2 months. My dad is now renting a 2 bedroom house that my grandparents own. Of course he continously reminds me that my living with him is temporary. (the only reason he let me stay with him is to show up my mom) When I had to go pick Rick up from work the other night (his truck quit, so I had the joy of driving about 3 hrs to pick him up) we had a long heart to heart talk and decided we're going to save back some money and move closer to his job. The town we're looking at is about 30 mins from his job and about 2 hrs from either of our families. (the being 2 hrs from my mother is what really makes both of us happy, especially since a few other things have come to light lately) So one of my main goals is to get away from her because if i don't i'm either going to seriously injure either her or myself. and ricks really worried about how it's getting when her and I talk.
It bothers me how much she dislikes everything I do. We were talking a couple days ago and she asked what I was doing, I told her I was getting ready to go out with 2 handsome guys (same kinda thing she tells me when her and her bf go out that she's going out with a handsome man) but she asked who i was going with. When I told her Rick and his friend Joe, she started going off the deep end and yelling at me over the phone for like 5 mins. before hanging up on me.
I did have some wonderful amusement while I was offline though. Rick just had his b-day and it only took him 20 mins to get into the present I gave him. We started making plans for my b-day next month. (should be interesting)
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Old 03-27-06   #18
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Well the last couple weeks have proven interesting. My family is mad at me, yet again, since I will be moving in a couple weeks. Rick just got a house thats about an hr and a half away. I'm moving over there with him, I've got an interview with a councilor and meeting with the financial aid board at a college over there in a couple days.
If they can help me get financial aid i'll be going back to school, and they are sure that they can.
My grandma is disapointed that i'm leaving, my mom is mad about who i'm moving in with, and my dad is mad that i'm moving, even though he wanted to throw up to me that my staying with him is temporary.
But it will be very nice to actually get away from here and ricks being very supportive. Since i don't have a car yet, i applied where he works (i should have no problem getting the job) same shift as him so we can ride to work together. He's glad i may get the chance to go back to school. He's so sweet.

I did find a car that i'd like to get. Black herse with purple lightning bolts down the sides. I'll end up getting it but will have to do some work to it.

And my sweeties are going to come pick me up today for my b-day.

Things are starting to get better.
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