[RedMeat]

Great, now I have to delete all of my posts about of raping you with a golf club in the Lair. This may take a while.

[>FuckDoll<]

oooh no, don't do that... sounds like great masturbation material for me later.

[Sybs]

I stalk ya anyway girly

[>FuckDoll<]

now that's what I like...

[Sybs]

Good. Because it's compulsive.

[>FuckDoll<]

Should be compulsory for everyone.

[Sybs]

As should learning to spell!

[>FuckDoll<]

Agreed, we should pass a resolution.

[Sybs]

Everyone must pass a mandatory spelling test before being allowed entry to this forum. We'd end up with about 30 posters...

[>FuckDoll<]

ha! Well at least we would see if they are smart enough to use an easily accessible spell check.

[>FuckDoll<]

Oooh I've been rather bitchy today, and it's been damn fun. Just a mood I suppose, this too shall pass.

[crimsonnyte]

I was moody today too. Something in the water?

[>FuckDoll<]

actually I think my hormones are fluctuating, but I hate science.

[Sybs]

Burp and slug beer and get an air rifle and shoot pigeons.

[>FuckDoll<]

I don't have any pigeons around here. A couple crows maybe, and a bunch of little tiny songbirds, but no pigeons.

[>FuckDoll<]

I was overly intoxicated last night and wrote this. Apparently I couldn't make it to the 'post reply' button.

***************************

I really like being a girl. Today I thought about all the things that make me, and a large chunk of that is girl. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not all whoop dee woo woman's lib, or hairy birkenstocked hippy commie liberal scum, I just like being a girl.

I have special girlie powers that I can wield at will (and often do). A certain smile or wink, a certain saunter. It's great fun. The ability to confound a guy mid sentence. Lose all train of thought. It's wonderful. Sure, guys have that ability too. There are a couple of men folk in this world who get my blood flowing something awful. I only wish I could be closer to them, but alas, not now. Of course lots of men get my blood flowing, but there are a select few that are just above par. That have the mental capacity and wit to truly captivate me. Fortunately I don't allow myself to be caught up in them, as an online thingy would be truly ridiculous, but still. They're great fun to flirt with, (one in particular) and oh how I'd love to just get wild with him. (Do it like they do on the discovery channel).

It can be scary to be a girl to. There seems to be a certain level of helplessness attached to females. It's there, whether you're an amazon, or a thin little waif. A big burly man (or woman for that matter) can be intimidating and even scary. I've had many occasions where I was in a position to be victimized and had to wriggle my way out one way or another. I've been followed in my car by men on several occasions. I've been cornered and hit up for money (basically mugged, but there wasn't violence, I gave up the cash). I've been chased on foot at night by a stranger. (That was freaky, luckily I was in my 'home area' and knew the streets and always better than most.)

*****************************

yeah, I can be odd.

[>FuckDoll<]

Main Entry: ap·a·thy
Pronunciation: 'a-p&-thE
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek apatheia, from apathEs without feeling, from a- + pathos emotion —more at PATHOS
Date: 1603
1 : lack of feeling or emotion : IMPASSIVENESS
2 : lack of interest or concern : INDIFFERENCE

I'm not excited. I doubt I'm depressed, or maybe I am, who would know? Really I'm rather indifferent. I can't think straight, I always pause between the lines and it's getting worse. There is a sort of acceptance going on that I can't get passed or over. Laying down and letting the fire go out is not the answer, and my greatest fear is falling back into the rerun pit of mundane self-depreciation. I'm helpless to fix it. I fight, I conquer small battles. But it's a long cold war and I much prefer Hawai'i. Can't get passed that damned will to live. My emotional clockwork is a bastard. Ever ticking forward in denial of emotion or triumph. Tick tick tick tick tick tick. I've stopped counting the seconds, the minutes filled with anxiety, loaded with helpless abandon. I can't even turn around I'm so stuck in the gooey used sidewalk gum of apathy.

[>FuckDoll<]

My patience is growing seriously thin with the dimwitted and dumb. Sometimes it really pains me. I'm hesitant to even get into debate with anyone because of the slow minded individuals who have come before them. It hurts. Trivial arguments about semantics, and lame ass people with logic so extraordinarily flawed that I want to gouge out my eyes with toothpicks.
There are people here and 'abroad' that I genuinely enjoy. With a couple of them I have fairly often communication about serious and not so serious topics. Some of them I just sort of admire from afar, not necessarily talking to them, but enjoying on my own their talent or wit, or whatever it is that attracts me to them. I think I would enjoy listing them all out, as I enjoy giving genuine compliments to people, of course I inevitably would leave someone out. Not that I am going to do this right now, as I may change my mind, but perhaps I will 'list' out these people I admire in one form or another and tell them so and why. That would be nifty, and I think it might make my appreciation for these people grow. It would of course be an ongoing sort of 'list' as different people peak my interest and fascinate me.

(I think in some weird strange way I've been trying to force myself to be social lately. I'm having a horrible bout of anti-social-ness, and it's kinda icky. So... yeah, please bare with my idiosyncrasies).

[>FuckDoll<]

blah, my head/mind is all over the fucking place. It's like I can't get to just one line of thought and follow it through. I'm jumpy, and anxious. I need to get laid. I need to be in a fight. A physical fight. I need to exert too much energy. I need to be worn out.

I'm so sick of bullshit. All sorts of bullshit flung around every which way, and here's me in the middle trying my best (without success) to dodge it all. It's that guy. He hates me, and I don't like him. He's a pompous dumbass, which in my book makes him just about as low as you can get. If you're a dumbass, being pompous is just putting an exclamation point on your stupidity. And, as I've stated previously, outright stupidity is a loathsome trait as far as I am concerned.
I need to flirt. I like flirting a lot, and I enjoy being flirted with. I haven't been up to it in a while, and I think I ought to force myself to. I did e-mail someone a Valentine's Day card though. I guess he got it, though he didn't comment to it. I don't know... I thought it was nice. Ha, would have been nice if somebody e-mailed me a valentine. But alas, I am ever-forgettable (no really, I am... try it, you'll see).

[>FuckDoll<]

ew.