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Old 12-14-04   #1
Ditto
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"Where'd I Put My There It Is"

My father loses things alot. He miss places everything from keys to radios to children. My favorite story about him losing something is from about 9 years ago.

When my father used to come in from work he would put his wallet ontop of the freezer while he got something out of the fridge. Being the forgetful man he is, he would leave the wallet atop the freezer. One morning my father couldnt find his wallet for the life of him. We all spent almost an hour looking for it. Giving up, my mother went to get a popsicle and found the wallet sitting in the freezer door, atop some frozen corn.

We still make jokes about cold hard cash.

Anyway, tell me your funny stories.
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Old 12-14-04   #2
Angsty the Wonder Goth
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One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

"One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

'One time, I viewed this thread that sucked, so I responded with something like:

(infinity +1)

''''''''''''''''''''"
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Old 12-14-04   #3
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Weirdo.
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Old 12-14-04   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenina
Weirdo.
please, no insults. i can't handle them.
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Old 12-14-04   #5
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That was mature.
Thank you. I feel oh so much better now.
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Old 12-14-04   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angsty the Wonder Goth
please, no insults. i can't handle them.
That was not sarcasm either... It was a big pile of wank really....
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Old 12-14-04   #7
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My mum once lost the car. She went to town in it, but came home on the bus. True story.
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Old 12-14-04   #8
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You sure it wasnt stolen?
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Old 12-14-04   #9
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Well,this story is'ent really funny,but it made me go "oh fuck". The other night, I was at subway,and there was the longest line you'd ever seen.It was like a homeless mission,and everyone was lined up to get some Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel (7 out of 10 orphans can't tell the difference!)

Anyway,I starting talking to the guy about what I wanted on my footlong sub,and the guy kept waving both hands at me. I stopped,and he pointed at his ears,and shook his head.So he was deaf,and I felt like an ass. True Story.
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Old 12-14-04   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ditto
You sure it wasnt stolen?
Nah - she just forgot she took it :/
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Old 12-14-04   #11
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I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
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Old 12-14-04   #12
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DEAD MILKMEN!!!

Man I own that song! Hahaha!
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Old 12-14-04   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mia~ow
Nah - she just forgot she took it :/
Hahahaha, thats beautiful.
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Old 12-14-04   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *SpaceGhost*
Well,this story is'ent really funny,but it made me go "oh fuck". The other night, I was at subway,and there was the longest line you'd ever seen.It was like a homeless mission,and everyone was lined up to get some Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel (7 out of 10 orphans can't tell the difference!)

Anyway,I starting talking to the guy about what I wanted on my footlong sub,and the guy kept waving both hands at me. I stopped,and he pointed at his ears,and shook his head.So he was deaf,and I felt like an ass. True Story.

Oh no!
I've always wanted to go somewhere where no one knew me and pretend I was deaf.

:shrug:
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Old 12-14-04   #15
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Very nice, Denalay.
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Old 12-14-04   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ditto
Oh no!
I've always wanted to go somewhere where no one knew me and pretend I was deaf.

:shrug:
Me and my sis used to go on holiday and pretend we were foreign so we didn't have to talk to candy floss sales men.

Our conversation went like this:

Mer di pod?

Aye si doodood icky!

Bur?

Flipper!

It works - trust me.
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Old 12-14-04   #17
Angsty the Wonder Goth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenina
That was not sarcasm either... It was a big pile of wank really....
How do you figure? Is it just because you don't know me, and therefore feel inclined to pick on me?
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Old 12-14-04   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angsty the Wonder Goth
How do you figure? Is it just because you don't know me, and therefore feel inclined to pick on me?
No... Because You're new here and I didn't notice that you were new, I read your post... Thought it was a pile of wank and replied with "Its a pile of wank". Don't cry... I didn't know you were a n00b....
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Old 12-14-04   #19
Ditto
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mia~ow
Me and my sis used to go on holiday and pretend we were foreign so we didn't have to talk to candy floss sales men.

Our conversation went like this:

Mer di pod?

Aye si doodood icky!

Bur?

Flipper!

It works - trust me.

Hahaha, I'll be sure to give it a try.
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You cant take the sky from me.
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Old 12-14-04   #20
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we're about to see a spat between lenn and angsty i think. head's up lenn. i've seen angsty around a few times, just sporadically. can't help but wonder if it's an alternate nick or some shit.

anyway, one time i was lookin for my welding hood at work. couldn't find it. so i started to just like.. weld without a hood you know. but i started seeing spots and then my eyeballs bled and i was sorta sad because of this, so i walked outside the jobsite and got hit by a car cuz i couldn't see stuff.
i was all "oh god my eyes" and the doc said "yeah they're kinda cool" and i was all "no they hurt" and she was all "yeah hey i'm a female doctor" (let's hear it for feminists) and i slapped her.
pretty hard.
cool huh?
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