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Old 11-29-04   #1
Kendra
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a whole new journal of the shy.

not needing religion in my life.

well i am the type of person that doesn't have any kind of religion in her life. and i've lived without religion for 23 years now. yes of course my age is 23. which is why i said 23 years without having religion in her life. so as you people can all ready tell i'm not a religious person. hence i'm an athiest... a person who doesn't believe in god. not like i needed to tell you people what an athiest is.
since i've managed to live this long and far without religion. i've decided not to have any kind of religion in my life at all. i'm going to stick with that decision of mine i have made for my self. and i'm not going to let anybody force me to have religion in my life. or sit here and tell me why its important to have religion in my life. some people are into religion and some people aren't into religion.


but however i did of course wanted my self to belong in a religion. as you people can see i have changed my mind about that. because for one thing i don't like this whole intire thing about what is right and what is wrong when it comes to religion. but even with the concept of good vs evil it is still presented in morality. but how is a person sappossed to be an indivisual through religion by having what is right and what is wrong in religion? i feel that if i were to have a religion in my life. i would get and feel more pressured from the right and wrong concept. and that would make me feel like shit. i have realised that i don't need a religion in my life to be an indivisual... i know what is right and what is wrong with or without religion. and with this decision of mine i feel free about it. this is what i want to not be able to have at all in my life. and that laddies and gentalmen is religion.

i mean there is no god. not that there isn't some eternal force. but theres no man sitting on a throne saying. you bad! you good! since your good go to heaven. since your naughty as all shit go to hell and burn in the flames!

i was talking to a friend of mine name sixxxsicsix. this is what him and i were talking about on yahoo messanger as a matter of fact. and from what i had to say about this. this is what sixxxsicsix said about me tonight on yahoo messanger.

from sixxxsicsix " that you an exitentialist in some form......you have conceptions of right and wrong thru morality.....but as morality is such a sketchy subject, you go a more liberal/logical/scientific/existentialistic route...you, a self-proclaimed and openly proud lesbian, not too mention slightly darker in nature, understands that people are people.....but some people are more ignorant than others.....like religious fanatics and such......you're very liberal"

well this is all i have to say about my journal.
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Old 11-29-04   #2
Kendra
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how other people see me


mia~ow "What can I say about the Shyster?? Well, your definitely one of the most honest persons (is that a word?) that posts here. You say exactly what you want, at the time it pops into your head. So I'd say IRL you're probably quite impulsive and intuitive. You're also utterly utterly nuts, in a good way. You totally crack me up. I love your randomness Also, having seen you on web cam, I'll have to tell you that you're not all that bad looking yourself, you certainly put yourself down to much with regard to appearance. I put this down to a lack of self-confidence, or self-belief in real life. I think you must have had some sort of struggle 'growing up' - perhaps unsure of who you were or who you wanted to be. I love your use of self-affirmation, I'd say you're an optimistic. '"

denaly "Shy Shy: I think that Mia hit it on the head. Although I bet you are a little more reserved in real life, at least until the mood strikes you to do or say something crazy."


jordyn "shy...her names describes her well, but capabale of deep thought, willingness to question what those thoughts means, and loyal to those she cares about. unsure of what she is capable of, but i'm hoping she'll realizes she has many qualities that will take her far, just not sure how to exert them."

surreal "shy shy: probably not given much attention in real life, she goes through her bouts with some off the wall emotions few understand. she is always looking for the easiest way to get along with someone, even if she's being prodded. a value worth holding onto, even if it gets her hurt often. she'd be the cat that runs to you after you've shot it with a water gun, knowing you're doing it.
i've never seen her face but i always associate it with wynona rider. see what avatars do?"

six(sic)sixxx "that you question yourself a bit too much.....almost, like you're denying who you truly are.....and i don't know why, but if i had to take a guess, i would say itz because you're lonely, and you think part of the reason must be you, so you sit there and wonder whatz wrong with you......when, in truth, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you, you're A-ok....people love ya, someone will want ya, not everyone you meet is gonna be your soulmate......but if you don't look, you'll never know......and the old saying goes, just be yourself....thatz who people want....people want you kendra."
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Old 11-29-04   #3
Kendra
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ok how well do we think we know people?

nobody can ever really know anybody. no matter how well you think you may know someone. or want to get to know someone. you can never actually know them as well as you MIGHT think you know them. because we are what we are and nobody is what they seem to be. since we don't really know people the way we think we might know them. do we really know ourselves?
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Old 11-29-04   #4
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from six(sic)sixxx

so, i had a long, long talk with our dear old shy shy here, and she's confessed something to me that she's just a lil' to shocked about to write in her journal, so she's asked me to do it for her.....

well, as some of you may know, shy shy here has takin' a liking to strippers; so we got to talking, about this "Psycka" and some other stippers, and how shy shy's just so bashful around them itz cute.....so, she asked me what i thought of it.....and occured to me, that shy shy's interest in strippers is simply the fact that said women are open with their sexuality....they are open with their bodies.....shy shy, who many of us know, is not so open about said things......so she asks, "well, why's that?"

and it occured to me, that our dear shy shy here might have "vagina anxiety" (if thatz the correct term)....so i asked her if she perhaps, has issues with her vagina....perhaps, she wished she was a boy.....and naturally, she protested

so, moving on with our discussion, we start talking about sex......and shy confided in me that she doesn't masturbate....and i, thinking she lied, asked her why....well, she then told me that she's tried it once or twice, but felt uncomfortable about it, and didn't like it.....she thereby confided in me, as the topic grew, that when "fooling around" with girls, she doesn't really feel aroused when someone touches her vagina....

so naturally, i told her that she does indeed have some issues with being a woman....more so with having a vagina.....and at last, she confided in me, that yes, she does have issues with her vagina....she doesn't like it, nor knows how to like it....and she wishes she were a boy.....

perhaps, as a boy, she might be able to get more women; perhaps even enjoy the pleasure of sex.......

itz something she told me she's never told anyone else, save maybe a few close friends, and all this was very emotional for her to deal with......but, as we continued talking about it, she finally confided that although she wishes to be a boy, she doesn't want to have a sex change operation but doesn't know how she'll ever come to love herself as a woman.........

so naturally, i told her that such issues aren't too uncommon, especially amidst homosexuals, but even heterosexuals have this problem....especially women.......but, itz something that must be dealt with, and is a serious issue........this confession alone is a good step in resolving said issue, and i think it helps explain some of those lingering questions we all have as to exactly who shy shy is........

and like i told her, itz nothing to be ashamed of, nor embarrassed, but you will have to learn to love your body.....i even tried telling her that the vagina has over 300+ nerve endings, while a penis only has like 16 or so.....SO, WHO GOT THE BETTER DEAL THERE!!!!!......but, nonetheless, shy shy will one day love her vagina, as is evident in this confession, that she's now taking a step into dealing with her issues of being a woman....
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Old 11-29-04   #5
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creations.

what is it inside that makes us feel the emotional and mental aspects of pain, pleasure, and other intense feelings in a physical way? without any physical things happening? its like why do we make the decisions and think the things that we think from day in and day out? what makes us decide how we create our lives and with the train of thoughts these days so much harder in this life time then in any other life generations and generations ago? why do we insist on creating more stress and more pain for ourselves then what is necessary? and what has pushed people to become so cold and cruel over the past couple of generations......?

but i realised that people are people and life is only life......
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Old 11-29-04   #6
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Birdman Kicked My Ass
By Wesley Willis

Birdman caught me on his property
He saw me trespassing his real estate
He reached into this pocket for a pistol
He came after me and pistol-whipped my behind

Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass

Birdman beat me to a pulp
He gave me a yell-down war hell ride
He told me that he was going to kill me if I don't get off his real estate
He gave me five minutes to get in my Bronco and hit the rookie road

Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass

At 100 PM, I drove my Bronco back to Birdman's real estate
I jumped over his fence after dark
I picked up a brick and shattered Birdman's window pane
Birdman sighted me doing it and reached for his pistol
Suddenly, I jumped back in my Bronco and took off like O.J. simpson

Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
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Old 11-29-04   #7
Kendra
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Stealth Bomer
By Wesley Willis

Fire a warning shot!!
Get ready to hit the target!!
Drop a bomb on Baghdad- Destroy Iraq!!!!

STEALTH BOMBER;
STEALTH BOMBER-
STEALTH BOMBER,
STEALTH BOMBER:
STEALTH BOMBER!!!!

Blow Baghdad Iraq off the map!!
Kill off their population!!
Bomb their asses off!!
Blow them to smithereens!!
DESTROY CIVILIZATION MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!

Shoot the missiles in the air!!
Seek and destroy the city of Baghdad!!
Vaporize the city of Iraq-
We'll set fire to your city!!!!!

Pioneer- It's the art of entertainment.

Last edited by Shy shy; 11-29-04 at 16:38.
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Old 11-29-04   #8
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Drink that Whiskey
By Wesley Willis

(lip-licking sound, distorted)
Drink a bottle of Cutty Sark.
Get drunk and fuck with somebody.
Whip a policeman's ass with a BELT!!
you will tossed in jail for your bullshit.

DRINK THAT WHISKY,
DRINK THAT WHISKY;
DRINK THAT WHISKY-
DRINK THAT WHISKY!!

Fuck with your friends while you're drunk.
Go off on somebody so that hell CAN break loose on your ASS.
Go start some shit with a COP, and whip him with a BELT.
You will be arrested, and thrown in jail.

Drink that whisky and get a bad liver!!
Rot your kidneys out motherfucker!!
KILL yourself with alcoholism!!
Fuck your life up and drop dead!!!!!

Tascam- Take advantage of our experience
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Old 11-29-04   #9
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Rock N roll McDonald's
By Wesley Willis

McDonalds is the place to rock
it is a restaurant where they buy food to eat
it is a good place to listen to the music
people flock here to get down to the rock music

rock and roll mcdonalds
rock and roll mcdonalds
rock and roll mcdonalds
rock and roll mcdonalds

McDonalds will make you fat
they serve big macs
they serve quarter-pounders
they will put poounds on you

rock and roll mcdonalds
rock and roll mcdonalds
rock and roll mcdonalds
rock and roll mcdonalds

McDonalds hamburgers are the worst
they are worse than burger king
a big mac has 26 grams of fat
a quarter-pounder has 28 grams of fat

rock and roll mcdonalds
rock and roll mcdonalds
rock and roll mcdonalds
rock and roll mcdonalds
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Old 11-29-04   #10
Kendra
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you might be a redneck if

You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi.







You think a stock tip is
advice on worming' your hogs.






You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.





You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company







Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.






Your house still has the
"WIDE LOAD"
sign on the back.





You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'






Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks






You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.






Your sister is the third generation
of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction.






If you can burp
and say your name at the same time,
you're shur'nuff a redneck.






You think Possum is
"The Other White Meat"







You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.







You hooked up with your present girlfriend
as a result of a message on the wall of
the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.







The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.







You think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.






You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.







Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.







You think safe sex is a padded headboard.







You think subdivision is part of a math problem.







You think there's nothin wrong with incest
as long as you keep it in the family.







Taking your wife on a cruise
means circling the Dairy Queen.






You may be a Redneck if ...
You and your dog use the same tree.






You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.







You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."







Your father executes the "pull my finger"
trick during Christmas dinner.







You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law.








You've got more than
one brother named 'Darryl'.







You think the OJ Trial was a
Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.








You were acquitted for murdering
your first wife after she threw
out your Elvis 8-tracks.








You think watching professional
wrestling is foreplay.







Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow.
But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.






Your front porch collapses
and four dogs git killed.






The people on Jerry Springer's show
remind you of your neighbors





Your kids take a siphon hose
to "Show and Tell."




You've ever had to scratch your sisters
name out of a message that begins,
"For a good time time call..."







You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took







Your whole family is Democrats
except little Mary.
She lernt to readin'.






You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.






You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.






You have a bumper sticker that says,
"MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT
AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."






You take a six-pack cooler to church.






Your family tree has no forks.






You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.








You had to remove a toothpick
for your wedding pictures.





You use a weedeater in your living room.






You consider your license plate personalized because
your dad made it in prison.







You have a rag for a gas cap.





The blue book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas it has in it.






The third grade teacher says little Bubba
could be a mathematical genius
because he's got thirteen fingers.




Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.





You have to go outside to get
something out of the 'fridge.






A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.






One of your kids was born on a pool table.








You have spray painted your
girlfriend's name on an overpass.






Your lifetime goal is
to own a fireworks stand.





Someone asks to see your ID and you
show them your belt buckle.






Your dad walks you to school because
you are both in the same grade.





Mailpouch sends you Christmas cards.






Down where you come from reruns of
Hee Haw are called documentaries.






Your house doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does.




You need one more hole punched in your card
to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.







You have flowers planted in a
bathroom fixture in your front yard.





On your first date you had to ask your
Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.






You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance
were just "misunderstood".




If you refer to the fifth grade
as, "your senior year".





Three quarters of the clothes you
own have LOGOS on them.





The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.






Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.







Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.





You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.






You just bought an 8-track
player to put in your truck.




You've ever climbed a water tower
with a bucket of paint
to defend your sister's honor.






It's easier to spray weed killer
on your lawn than mow it.





You think the three primary colors are
John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.






Your pickup has a two-tone paint job
-- primer red and primer gray.





Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart
'cause there is a law against it.






You've been on TV more than 5 times
describing the sound of a tornado.





The beer can collection in the
town museum is the big tourist attraction.






You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.




Your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.





You can tell your age by the
number of rings in the bathtub.







You may be a redneck if you ever
used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.






You can change the oil in your truck
without ducking your head.






During your senior year you and
your mother had homeroom together.




You're a lite beer drinker 'cause you start drinkin beer when it gets light.






You think the stock market
has fence around it.






Your stereo speakers used to belong
to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.





You own a homemade fur coat.





Your entire family has ever sat around
waiting for a call from the Governor
to spare a loved one.






Your wife has ever said,
"Come move this transmission
so I can take a bath."





You think loading the dishwasher
means getting your wife drunk.




YOU REFER TO THE TIME YOU WON
A FREE CASE OF MOTOR OIL AS
"THE DAY MY SHIP CAME IN."









The FBI surrounded your trailer park
twice so far this year.




You use a NASCAR credit card.





Your brother-in-law is your uncle
AND your grandfather.




you might be a redneck if....
Your parents met at a family reunion.






You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies
are two of the major food groups.






You stare at an orange juice container
because it says, "CONCENTRATE".




YOUR IDEA OF HIGH-QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT
IS A SIX-PACK AND A BUG-ZAPPER.





You wonder how service stations
keep their restrooms so clean.




Anyone in your family died right
after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".





You couldn't learn to swim
because
your gene pool is too small.





Your wife's job requires her
to wear an orange vest.




You have the local taxidermist's
number on speed dial.




On Thanksgiving Day you have
to decide which pet to eat.





Your school fight song is"Dueling Banjos".




You think "taking out the trash"
means taking your in-laws to a movie.





Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.




You got Clapper devices controlling
the appliances in your house.





You think a hot tub is
a stolen bathroom fixture.



The gas pedal on your car
is shaped like a bare foot.



They just raised the drinking age in your state to 32 on account of they wanted to keep alcohol out of the schools






You hammer bottle caps into the
frame of your front door to make it look nice.




The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.





The taillight covers of your car
are made of red tape.




You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.





You've ever been involved in a
custody fight over a hunting dog.



The KKK kicked you out for being a bigot.





You think a turtleneck is
a key ingredient for soup.



You think the French
Riviera is a foreign car.



Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.






You no longer drink wine ever since
the screw cap got caught up your nose.




You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.





That billboard that says,
"SAY NO TO CRACK"
reminds you to pull up your jeans.



Your wife's hairdo was once ruined
by a ceiling fan.



You go to your family reunion
looking for a date.





You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.




Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.




Your high school basketball game got rained out.




You've got more than three cousins
named 'Bubba'.



You have a close relative named "Cletus".






You ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin contest.





You wish your outhouse was as nice
as those at the state park.





Last year you hid yer kids'
Easter eggs under cow pies.





Your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or
more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.






Jack Daniels makes your list
of "Most Admired People"




Your dog can't watch you eat
without getting sick.



You think the winter olympic sport of curling
is part of the "Big Hair" competition.



When you was little, your front yard got toilet papered
and your momma thought it was a gift from God.




You've painted a car with house paint.



You're banned from the Memphis Zoo because you disturb the monkeys.




You ever named a child after a dog.



You have more belt-buckles than pants.




You removed the back seat from your
car so all yer kids could fit in.





You think taking a bubble bath starts
with eating beans for dinner.




Your child's first words were
"Attention K-Mart shoppers!"








YOU'VE EVER COME HOME
AND FOUND CRIME SCENE TAPE
ACROSS YOUR FRONT PORCH.







You think a woman who is
"out of your league"
bowls on a different night.









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Old 11-29-04   #11
Kendra
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people who bitch about there jobs......

i find that to be seriously annoying how people bitch about there jobs.. because for one thing i'm looking for a job. and i've been to places that said they were looking for people to hire. as you can see i didn't get accepted. thats like seven jobs all ready. i'm still trying as a matter of fact and still have no luck on getting hired for a job. people need to remember that at least they have a job and they get paid to do whatever it is they have to do. that is alot better then not having a job at all..... i mean if you people don't like your jobs i'll be more then happy to take it and earn your paychecks. i'm looking forward to having a job and getting paid.

but i'm going to keep on trying untill i find a job that would accept me to work for them.

el paso is seriously hard to get a job. because were a boarder town and alot of our factories moved to mexico. like fudruckers was opening up for a job. and they had like over 1,000 jobs applications out. only a few people got picked while the rest didn't get squat.... not only do we have to compete with people in el paso but we also have to compete with people from juarez. on top of that were a small town.....

so remember if you have a job and you get paid. don't bitch about it cause at least you have a fucking job and at least your getting paid for it... cause we have people out there like me who can't get hired for a job and seriously want to work.

i want to work because i want to work and make some money...... and i want to get my self out there. so be thankfull for what you have as a job. even if you work at a burger place. a paycheck is a fucking paycheck.....

better yet move down here to el paso. get lots and lots of job applications and see if you'll get hired for a job or not. once when you can't get accepted to any jobs. you'll see what its like to be in my shoes.. then you'll have an understanding as to why i hate it when people bitch about there jobs. cause like i said i'll be more then fucking happy to take it...

so don't bitch all right!!
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Old 11-29-04   #12
Lenina
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I wish I could work but I have a 24 hour obligation to my child... I still work damn fucking hard taking care of her. Im not complaining either. When she starts school, Im going to go get a job at a tatoo studio... That would rule

Don't feel down kendy... I still love ya!
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Old 11-29-04   #13
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agreed.
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Old 11-29-04   #14
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hey you are here! i hope you keep on coming back by the way...... and its a good thing that you work hard for your daughter. and working in a tattoo place would rock. well hope everything would work out for ya.

and hello crimson!

thanks lenina i still love you to.
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Old 11-29-04   #15
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-pets the shy shy-
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Old 11-29-04   #16
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"gets petted and purrs"
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Old 11-30-04   #17
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nobody shouldn't have to be sad and lonely. like never having a love in their life and experiencing all that comes with it. i guess some people are just born with luck to have it. while other people like me aren't so lucky. how can some people say i'm lucky? how can some people say they would so switch places with me? i'll sit here and look at them as if they are seriously crazy. they wouldn't even last if they were in my shoes. i mean its better to have love then not have love at all. i mean i would so give anything to have someone come into my love life, i would so love it if a person would love me the same way i would love them, i would so love it if that person would do almost anything for me as i would for them.....but for the people who do have it its like as if they don't want it. yet they have to throw it all away and cheat on their spouce. while they were lucky enough to have that kind of a love and being able to experience it. its kind of funny how people would take that for granted. since its seriously rear to find. like i said some people are lucky to have it and some people aren't so lucky to have it. for some people it would take longer to find or they might not even find it. i would seriously give anything just to have a spouce in my life. yet you people have no idea. maybe i do have some people who are seriously crazy about me. but how come they won't come out and tell me? its like as if they have to be in the closet about it. i mean its not like i'm going to bit your head off and tell you to shove your head up your own ass. i'm none violent as a matter of fact. i'm as sweet as a next door neighboor who wears her heart on a sleave. maybe someday i'll find my goddess she is out where ever she may be.
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Old 11-30-04   #18
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ablabba blue....

um, you're 24 darlin'....

but HI!!!!
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Old 11-30-04   #19
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yes i do of course know my own age.

hi to you to!
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Old 11-30-04   #20
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well i am the type of person that doesn't have any kind of religion in her life. and i've lived without religion for 23 years now. yes of course my age is 23. which is why i said 23 years without having religion in her life.
*twitch*
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