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Old 07-20-04   #1
guy_on_speed
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live journal

does anyone have a live journal here?

heres mine
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pissed_ghost/

feel free to read and to leave comments...
anyways for those who do have a live journal post your last entry
heres mine.

why guys are quiet in bed [11 Jul 2004|09:10pm]
I've been too busy to write in my poor journal. Mostly working a little too much to even have the energy to read or shave. well it's been a long month, i've done many jobs made many monies...I truely need a vacation. I've met many types of people while i've been paiting i get to meet very interesting people. I've gotten to know my father more and his other girlfriend. I don't know if we're really alike or really differn't but all i know is that part of what he is and his characteristics is imprinted on to me which makes me who i am, makes my personality makes the way i think, makes my perspectives and how i view the world. well so much for getting acquainted with my father i decided to get closer to my family, so i went to my cousins birthday party yesterday.

I showed up on schedule wearing a suit, because i like to dress up and this just gives me an excuse to look tacky however i did first get dirty looks from some of the people who i just met but i just smiled as i introduced myself to everyone there (i didn't have to since everyone kepted saying my name outloud and saying how cool/weird i was). Well soon enough everyone just got used to me being around and accepted me and offerd me beers. I saw my birthday girl and gaved her what I bought her, which was a gift certificate for HMV of 50 dollars. Wow I know. They give it to you in this nice red gift wrap which looks like a cd, so she thougth it was a cd, HA. Half way through the party most people were drunk my cousin Henry kepted telling me about this booty call girl that he has, which made me uncomfortable since I went to his wedding 3 months ago and he's already cheating...guess it runs in my family...well since he was drunk he kepted talking to her on my cell phone and everytime his wife would ask him who he is talking to he would say it's my girlfriend so i had to pretend she was my girlfriend, she was also going to come over to see my cousin henry, but stick by me and make out with me so it would seem like she was really my girlfriend...fat chance no way i would do that, what a little whore. However i wasn't going to rat out my cousin since i didn't want to cause any trouble in their marriage so i just covered for him. 15 minutes later he was puking, his wife is yelling at him he starts rolling around in the grass and passes out on the neighbors lawn for about half an hour until someone comming to the party spotted him. yeah my family is that spanish/black since all we had for barbecue was fried chicken...it was all in good fun we danced alot, talked about past experiences but the best part was and most spanish part was the pinata which was filled with little mickies the little 2 dollar bottles of liquior which included vodka, rum, whisky, and besides those the pinata contained condoms...yes i have a fucked up family.

Well i knew this time would come...my cousins wife sits right besides me we talked for a bit i was just waiting for her to confront me about what was really going on, but she never popped the question. Although i did get to know her, she's a dressed-fucked up-sadistic fucking person. all she talked about was the people in the backyard,like their fake smiles, how stupid they were, and that they should be skinned alive. She was one fucked up girl believe me when i say that because i've met pretty fucked up people. after a while talking to her she started rubbing my knee and getting really close which just scared me. so i just said i need to get another drink. that was the end of that.



I saw acouple of my cousins smoking up in the back so i go over there and sit beside some girl we started having conversation and an interesting subject came up she asks me "Why are guys so quiet in bed." and while this is by no means true for all guys, here is my answer that i gaved her.

Guys are quiet in bed because we are too busy thinking. You heard me right. Thinking. Deep thoughts. You see, it seems to be generally the guy's job, (at least in my experience) to make the girl feel as good as possible and have sweet, sweet orgasms. The girl, on the other hand, is generally content to just lay back and see what I've got to offer. Again, I can't speak for anyone else, this is just in my personal experience.

Not only am I thinking during sex, I am multi-tasking. My neuro-net processor of a brain is pounding algorithms as fast as my penis is pounding pussy.

Just what is going through my head during sex? Like the moon, this is a frontier so far journeyed only by man. But here is a small window of what goes on in my head during sex:

"Alright, time for some action"
"I hope I don't fuck up this time"
"Is that the right hole?"
"Oh wait, there it is"
"All right, lets start out slow"

It isn't long before my thoughts turn into a quiet panic.

V: "Damn, she just moved."
V: "Did I do something right, or did I hurt her"

V: "She's making noises!"
V: "Pain noises or pleasure noises?"
V: "Let try stepping up the pace a little"

V: "Damn, what was I doing before?"
V: "Fuck it, lets try a different position"
Girl: "OUCH!"
V: "Yeah....that one was definitely pain>
Girl: "What are you doing?"
V: "Mayday! Mayday!"
V: "Decrease Velocity!"
V: "Open flaps"
V: "Landing gear engaged"
V: "Disengage primary thrusters"
V: "Systems check"
Me: "You allright?"
Girl: "Uh....Yeah"
V: "No system damage"
Me: "Allright, lets try this again"

—five minutes later....computer pretty much takes over—
v: "Allright, back on track"

v: "Target in sight, hold position"

v: "C'mon.......C'mon"

v: "Hold it......Hold it....."
Brain Computer: WARNING! WARNING!
Brain Computer: ERR-ERR-ERR
v: "Oh shit"
Brain Computer: SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT
v: "Oh shit, not yet!"

v: "Just a little longer"
Brain Computer: DANGER HULL INTEGRITY
Brain Computer: SYSTEM OVERLOAD COMMENCING
v: "FUCK! I'm not going to make it"
v: "Pull out and prepare for manual override"
Brain Computer: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________
v: "Pull out, pull out"
Brain Computer: AUTO PILOT ENGAGED
v: "NO! UNENGAGE! UNENGAGE!"
Brain Computer: TARGET LOCKED....TARGET LOCKED
v: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
v: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
v: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
Brain Computer:
Brain Computer:
v: "Must....hold....on"
Brain Computer:
v: "can't.....hold it"
Brain Computer:
v: "Its out of my control, its in God's hands now"
Brain Computer: "PRIMARY VALVE: EJACULATING"

Brain Computer: "AUTOMATIC SYSTEM SHUT DOWN: COMMENCING"

Girl: "Honey, are you alright?"
Me: Yeah.....my head hurts...."
Girl: "Sorry"
Me: No, the other head"
Girl: "What?"
Me: Nothing"
Me: Did you cum"
Girl: "What, you didn't notice"
Me: Actually, I was kinda too busy to notice"
Girl: "You're so weird"
Me: You should try being the pilot next time"
Girl: "Get off me, I need to pee"

Do you ever find that pre-orgasm expression on a guys face funny?
Ever wonder what he's feeling"
Its not pain
Its not pleasure
It is deep, hard, seething thought.
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Old 07-20-04   #2
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god, why! why did i click on this?
GO GET A FUCKING JOURNAL, WE HAVE A SECTION FOR SHIT LIKE THIS
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Old 07-20-04   #3
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Haha.... amusing.

Click me, and be amazed.
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Old 07-20-04   #4
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i thought there was that one too.
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Old 07-20-04   #5
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Thinking is poisonous.
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Old 07-20-04   #6
ArSiNiK
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ArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these parts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guy_on_speed
blah blah blah x5908457
dude, you need to lay off the tweak.
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Old 07-20-04   #7
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Tweakytweaky...
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Old 07-20-04   #8
sixxx(sic)six
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agrees with dri-wicked







fucking dumbshit
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Old 07-20-04   #9
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fucking hate people
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Old 07-21-04   #10
crypt orchid
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people are so hate-able.

look,look,itsbouncingofftehwordsheehee
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Old 07-21-04   #11
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lol... good fur it
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Old 07-21-04   #12
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fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck
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Old 07-21-04   #13
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Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Mother mother fuck. Mother mother fuck fuck. Mother fuck mother fuck.
Noise noise noise.
1 2 1 2 3 4
Noise noise noise.
Smokin weed, smokin weed.
Doin' coke, drinkin beers.
Drinkin beers, beers beers.
Rollin' fatties, smokin blunts.
Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts.
Rollin' blunts and smokin um'
<>
15 bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand.
If that money doesn't show then you owe me owe me owe.
My jungle love.
Oh e oh e oh.
I think I wanna know ya know ya ... yeah, what.
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Old 07-21-04   #14
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Alrighty.....
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Old 07-21-04   #15
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do you even know what thats from?
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Old 07-21-04   #16
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no......
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Old 07-21-04   #17
ArSiNiK
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ArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these parts
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kevin smith ownz.
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Old 07-21-04   #18
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Heard of kEvin Keys or Ceys or cEvin or whatever the fuck, and I've heard of Robert Smith but not Kevin Smith.
Before my time or something?
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Old 07-21-04   #19
ArSiNiK
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ArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these parts
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no, you're just a moron. he's a film director, you may have heard of some of his little movies:

-jay and silent bob strike back
-dogma
-good will hunting
-chasing amy
-mallrats
-clerks
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Old 07-21-04   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArSiNiK
no, you're just a moron.
Aw, that's the nicest way anyone's ever put it. Thanks, Ars
Quote:
he's a film director, you may have heard of some of his little movies:

-jay and silent bob strike back
-dogma
-good will hunting
-chasing amy
-mallrats
-clerks
Heard of the first 3, never seen any of them. Saw a few minutes of Jay and Silent Bob, though..... wasn't impressed, really... I was told that I would like Dogma, and I've heard good things about Good Will Hunting, but other than that, I'm not particularly interested.
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