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Old 03-24-04   #1
thefr0g
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Why Darkforum eats ass.

That’s right, you've all noticed it recently. First a few of the most controversial (and entertaining) users get the boot, then forums start getting closed, and then every other thread is edited in an Orwellian censoring of all dissenting opinions. When I first came to darkforum there was no moderation at all, then it was taken over by Sire who summarily banned anyone that got on his nerves. This was annoying, and ruined the site for a lot of people... but at least it was honest. Now we've got the moderators taking similar action (thread closing, editing, banning) and deleting all mention of it, then claiming to be better than the previous administration. They are no better. At least with Sire's team we knew where we stood. Now I feel as if we are being played for fools.

So, in honor of the downfall of this place, I've composed a list of the reasons this is the biggest shit hole on the internet. The whole idea of fat teenagers dressed in capes can only be a bad one, but I’ve still manage to narrow it down further. Read it while you can, it will be deleted in minutes, I'm sure.

1. "Art"

Nobody on this fucking forum is an artist. Oh sure, you all claim the mantle as if it were a sacred title gifted to you by the gods themselves. I hate the word, I hate the fact that in my mind, and partially because of this website, the word "art" has become synonymous with the word "shit". And the poetry! For fucks sake people, do you not realize how cliche and pathetic you all are for writing this boring, angsty tripe that looks like 15 million other goth poems sitting in various live journals all over the net? Lets look at this beauty by some douchebag named taintedexile (I won't even get into how fucking lame his nickname is... he just put two random words together that make absolutely zero sense).

Quote:
I sit in isolation on a tainted night
Sick of peoples SHIT
I want to destroy them
Expose who they really are
And how they cry themselfs to sleep everynight
Woundering why everyone hates them
Woundering why god made them so ugly
And they cry like little children everynight
Full of hatered
Sick of thier life
They reject god loving fools
And choose to isolate themselfs from the world
So thier alone everynight
Continuing to wounder why
Everyone dosen't know them
And it seems like everyone ignores them
Blind to the fact that they hide from them
It's their own FAULT
Now everynight
Thier alone
Isolated
Perhaps bullshit like this may woo the 14 year old girls in their Manson t-shirts and choker collars, but anyone with half a mind in their head can see that this is fucking WORTHLESS. I could have pissed on my keyboard and made something more inspired. I would have probably pissed better grammar, too. What the fuck is a "tainted night" anyway?

Sadly, this isn't even one of the worst poems, this baby is brilliant compared to some of the stuff floating in the poetry forum. And it makes my dark, tainted soul weep.

2. Stupid people/Ugly people/Ugly & Stupid people

Why do so many of you low-self-esteem having gravy trolls insist on posting pictures of your acne-pocked faces and sagging baby fat stomachs all over the god damn place? Don't you realize if we wanted to see that shit we'd go to http://www.really-fucking-ugly-cunts...d-failing.com? And this habit isn't limited to the bitches... ooooh no. The men of darkforum also love to put on a scowl and snap a picture of themselves in an attempt to make the preteen darkforum whores wet. It’s sad and weak. Having browsed many of the pictures in the photography forum I can honestly say that there are very few attractive folks that frequent this website, and those few that are attractive are dirty fucking tramps. I can understand a couple people posting pictures saying "This is what I look like". But what I can't understand is the whore in the black lace bra and panties on all fours with a ball gag. What do you gain from this? A boost to your meager self esteem? Do you need praise that badly? Of course the horny assholes that frequent this place are going to compliment you. They'd compliment a 300 lb truck stop hooker if they thought it would get them a free piece of snuss. Perhaps you could attempt to gain people's favor by posting interesting comments, being humorous, or having something worthwhile to say, rather than just being a life support system for a vagina and tits. Rebeckah, EvilKittyCandy, I'm looking at you two. You contribute nothing except tits and ass. Doesn't this make you feel at all... cheap? It certainly makes you LOOK cheap. Maybe I'm just not a narcissist, but I can't see how some of you fuckers can post so god damn many pictures. "This is me, this is me with my head slightly turned to the left, this is me with my head turned to the right, this is me looking up, this is me looking down, this is me picking a bedsore scab that formed on my massive ass from laying in bed for 2 weeks, eating cheetohs and watching Telemundo" Nobody cares. Well... actually a few people probably care, but they're too busy jacking their hogs to give you the ego boost you so dearly crave. Either that, or they're searching the net for more pics that say "I'd hit it!" And when you hear such a graceful compliment, are you offended like anyone with self esteem would be? Of course not, it's just an hour without cutting yourself to celebrate the fact that some fucking loser on the internet is sad enough to waste his time looking at your ugly pics.

3. Moderators

The moderators of this dump are all cocksuckers. Not just because of their moderating abilities, but because of their personalities as well. Lets do this case-by-case.

ShotDownStar - I can remember this bitch posting quite a few times... but i can't remember anything she's said. She is completely unmemorable and bland. Which is close enough to sucking for me.

>Fuckdoll< - If white trash was a religion, Fuckdoll would be the (not so) Virgin Mary. Like most female mods, she's a whore who spends the majority of her time in the porno forums, and like most of the mods she's far too annoying to carry a conversation with

RedMeat - As far as I can tell, RedMeat is just a lackey. He doesn’t have much of a personality at all unless you count cock-craving as a personality.

Jordyn - The biggest whore on darkforum, and by "biggest" I mean "fattest". Can you cast a spell on yourself to make you suck less?

Dyshade - I love this guy, he's the People's Moderator! He's always interested in being completely fair to everyone involved! He has no bias! He'd prefer that the boards not be moderated at all! Yet he's always the first to set the bans, first to dole out warnings, first to be a general fucking prick any chance he gets. He's a hypocrite basically, and its not hard to see how he gets off on his position in the DF hierarchy. Probably gives his little winky a few tugs every time he bans someone.

Lillith - Oh, I could have dedicated this whole post to how much ass this cunt eats, and would have been even longer than this one. Ever notice how when anyone brings up the slightest problem they may have with the forum, Lillith picks up her guns and immediately goes on the defensive in the most annoying and bitchy manner possible? Her complete and total inability to take any constructive suggestions is a major weakness. As is her complete and total desire to LICK GARGS BUTTHOLE CLEAN. Jesus fucking christ, I've never seen a bigger ass kisser in all my days. If you've ever witnessed the two of them chatting on IRC, you'll understand what I mean. Its sickening, and poor dumb o'l garg eats it all up. Speaking of dumb ol' garg...

garg - Ah, King Shit of Fuck Mountain himself. I'll admit, I actually like garg, he's far too nice a guy to not like. But my liking him doesn’t make him any less of a pussy. He's always so worried about people getting angry, or people not liking him, or people threatening to go against him, that he never stands up for himself, thereby continuing to allow people to walk all over him. When he does take an action, he hides it from everyone for fear of getting them all riled up, or not being liked. He wants everything to be happy and joyous on his little goth board, because only happy and joyous people buy web space, which is, after all, his only real purpose in owning this site.

Those are the three major reasons that darkforum.com is a shitstain in the toilet of the internet. I could list other reasons but I don't feel its necessary, I think you get my point. I realize that (were this post to remain in existence for more than a few minutes) I'd hear the same spiel over and over... its garg's site and he can do whatever he wants with it. This is very true, it IS garg's site and he has the right to set whatever rules he wants. He also has the right to own a boring website that’s no fun to post on. He also has the right to let Lillith strap one on and pack his shit up to his eyeballs. As you all have noticed, he's chosen to take advantage of all of these rights and more. So be it, it doesn't matter to me... I'm about to get banned.
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Old 03-24-04   #2
windowpained
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Fuck you. I AM an artist.
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Old 03-24-04   #3
windowpained
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Have fun guys. I hope to never see any of you here again
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Old 03-24-04   #4
Billy the Kidd
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hey fr0g see ya in the abyss bwaahahah!@
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Old 03-24-04   #5
BeautysDemise
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You know what though? Fr0g has every right to express his opinion. At least he did it in a coherent fucking manner so as everyone could understand him.

You don't have to agree with him on every point, just shut up and let him fucking say it.
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Old 08-02-07   #6
Doktor Demo
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*sigh* I remember the days before Sire, when you only had three options; poetry, writing stories, or photography. I miss those days.
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Old 08-02-07   #7
BlyssfulStorm
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holy crap. this didn't get deleted and no one seems to have bitched about it. amazing.
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Old 11-28-11   #8
Sik Simon
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revived
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Old 11-29-11   #9
thefr0g
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woah.
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Old 11-30-11   #10
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wow i didn't make the list...i'm actually shocked
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Old 12-04-11   #11
Manifesto
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almost a decade later and nothing has changed....
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Old 12-04-11   #12
thefr0g
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I would not claim to still hold all the opinions I expressed in 2004. But I will still stand behind the line "Can you cast a spell to make yourself suck less?" That was a keeper.
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Old 12-04-11   #13
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less whores on here, I've noticed... probably died of AIDS by now.
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Old 05-02-12   #14
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lol. I love coming back to DF and reading stuff like this. Hello oldies.
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Old 05-02-12   #15
thefr0g
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I wonder how fat Rebeckah is now...
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Old 05-02-12   #16
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She friended me on Facesplootch... she is in the military and more buff than fat. I would watch how you speak to a lady with an assault rifle
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Old 05-02-12   #17
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By the way, Manifesto, I like your panda steaks sig
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Old 05-04-12   #18
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you were a mean little boy.
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Old 05-05-12   #19
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Wow. I just happened to come here, really for no reason at all, and I thought this was recent when it was at the top of the board. Whoops. I was all ready to be like "No! Dyshade co-modded Politics with me back in the day! He's a good dude!" but, never mind.
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Old 05-05-12   #20
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#2 is greatly amusing given the direction the internet was to take after this.
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