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Old 10-06-03   #1
Zephirus
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Monogamy?

ok, this is for the coupled ones, and those who believe in this.

Usually, I've been asked to be loyal on a relationship. but I tend to disbelief on the whole monogamy issue. as long as you still love your current partner, you may met others, as long as there is honesty about it. then again, I haven't been in a really serious relationship in quite a while, and to think of monogamy is like feeling restricted. but I can be wrong.

so .. care to elaborate on the point of monogamy?
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Old 10-06-03   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephirus
ok, this is for the coupled ones, and those who believe in this.

Usually, I've been asked to be loyal on a relationship. but I tend to disbelief on the whole monogamy issue. as long as you still love your current partner, you may met others, as long as there is honesty about it. then again, I haven't been in a really serious relationship in quite a while, and to think of monogamy is like feeling restricted. but I can be wrong.

so .. care to elaborate on the point of monogamy?

As far as Im concerned monogamy is a respect issue. I dont like the Idea of bringing home gonosypholherpalaids to my S.O. when I 'm with someone nor do I like the idea of being asked to stay with someone who is pregnant with someone elses child. yes you can protect against both of these things but If I value a relationship why risk it? Of course this only applies if you're actually serious about staying with someone long term.
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Old 10-06-03   #3
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I'm not a big advocator of any sort of monogomy. i firmly believe that you can love multiple people at once, and i honestly do.
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Old 10-07-03   #4
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yes, youre wrong. monogomy is not impossible, in fact if you truly love your SO, its not even a choice you just feel devoted enough to stay loyal. If you cannot you may have personal control and responsibility issues.
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Old 10-07-03   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy the Kidd
yes, youre wrong. monogomy is not impossible, in fact if you truly love your SO, its not even a choice you just feel devoted enough to stay loyal. If you cannot you may have personal control and responsibility issues.

but how many people fall into temptation, and then there's hurt all around...or you get the husband with his mistress, and the wife with her mister...neither know or care...then for whatever reason it suddenly becomes an issue and then comes divorce, pain, anger and all sorts of other nastiness...

it may be an issue with self control...but i dont' think it has anything to do with assessing he responsibility of a person...just because a person enjoys variety, doesnt' mean they aren't responsible.

some people may be able to stay loyal, but it doesnt' seem natural to me...how many animals are monogomous?
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Old 10-07-03   #6
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how many animals have reasoning capacity? i do think its an issue of responsibility, if youre with someone and theyve pledged thier love to you and vice versa and you cant keep you cock in your pants.. or your... whatever in your pants and you gotta fuck around you probably have a problem with responsibility and self control.

To me, fucking around and "variety" is unnatural, i wouldnt be able to kiss my girlfriend if i knew she was fucking other men at the same time as she was with me, and i wouldnt allow myself to kiss her if i was fucking other women when we were together... you may be able to do that and thats your business, howeve ri disagree with it. If you dont want to cause hurt and all that bullshit A. dont cheat, or B. dont get into a relaitonship. its that simple.
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Old 10-07-03   #7
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and what the heck does fall into temptation mean? thats a total alleviation of responsibility.. its not m fault i cheated honey, i was falling prey to temptation.. sorry if i disagree with that Jordy... do i find other women attractive? YES! do i act on those things? NEVER! why? because 3 minutes of pleasure with someone else isnt worth a lifetime of love with my woman. I dont ever even want ot fuck other women, i can admire thier beauty but that doesnt mean my cock is popping up and saying hit it... i notice, and then thats it, it ends there. period. i dont see why people make such a big thing like monogomy is so wicked.. its bullshit. people are in our society selfish, and irresponsible.
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Old 10-07-03   #8
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but do sex and love really have anything to do with each other outside of a persons personal feelings?

i don't think monogamy is wicked, it's a noble state for those who wish to pursue that avenue in a relationship...it's not something that has ever made a good relationship for me...there was always suspicion, jealousy, and mistrust. if my partner wished me to stay exclusive, i'd expect the same from him. I was always the one that got cheated on...and it always hurt. I don't have any of those worries now.

polygamy works for me, but for you to say monogamy is necessary for a relationship to be good and strong, is like saying marriage is necessary for a life together, and required before having sex.

outdated values for an updated society? Yes it is a selfish and irresponsible society...but not all who live it are selfish and irresponsible.

Quote:
I dont ever even want ot fuck other women, i can admire thier beauty but that doesnt mean my cock is popping up and saying hit it... i notice, and then thats it, it ends there. period.
and most often it's like this for polygamous partners too...i've seen a lot of sexy men...but i wouldn't sleep with them...not because i can't, but because i don't want to...they dont' strike me in the way that is necessary to peak me sexually.

My husband and I always discuss it, meeting any prospect and if either one of us has an issue, it's simply not done. it's not like the run of the mill cheater, anyone can have sex outside of a relationship, there are no boundaries, no discussion, just a selfish need for release, i agree with you...that's not respect in a relationship.

but to equate a polygamous relationship to such a detestable act...i dont' think that's being fair. A lot of thought, discussion and even preparation goes into inviting another person into our bed...a relationship can be destroyed if not.

i won't jeopardize(sp)my relationship for cheap lust, but i'm not going to jeapordize it trying to live up to ideal expectations. Neither of us want to view our marriage as the end of living, but simply enjoying all the glorious aspects life has to offer...together...and there are others that would be glorious to experience.
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Old 10-07-03   #9
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well we're comming from differnt perspective of coruse and i can respect your decision to do whatever it is you do but its just not for me... ive been cheated on before too and it hurt... but i can only be with 1 woman at a time and expect the same in return as you had. But maybe i was just a bit more lucky finding betty who is 100% loyal as i am.. who knows...
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Old 10-07-03   #10
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it is hard to find someone who will live how they expect you to...i'm happy for you billy, and wish you all the goodness and joy that a relationship should bring a person..

I'm also happy you can respect my perspective...and do admire you for your approach to a relationship...maybe if i had better luck in previous relationships, or met a man with your values, i'd be following a monogamous path myself...but than i would never have met my husband and don't think my life would have ever been complete

i guess relationships are best and most happy when they are lived how the couples involved want to live it, not what others think or expect they should be as a couple.
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Old 10-07-03   #11
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i agree..
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Old 10-07-03   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordyn
...how many animals are monogomous?
quite a few actually......

disregarding cats and dogs......
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Old 10-07-03   #13
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king penguins, and reese monkeys are two off the top of my head
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Old 10-07-03   #14
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as well as Macaws.....
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Old 10-07-03   #15
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so do swans...

so you two expect people to live like animals?

thinking about it, for every animal you two offer that is monogamous, i can name two that are not...some even have entire herds for their own breeding purposes.
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Old 10-07-03   #16
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Still though..... I live a monogomous life and have no problems with it..... I think it is in essence a matter of honor and respect... for whomever you are with at the time... if they feel you should just be with them and you are willing to do that than great... if you are with someone who is not monogomous and you are ok with that that is also great.... it comes down to personal choice....
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Old 10-07-03   #17
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i had sent you a PM jordy im going off to lunch ill ttyl you guys
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Old 10-07-03   #18
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yes, i know, i made a right proper newbie post for you to flame me with
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Old 10-07-03   #19
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i wont flame you, youre too lovely and besides the forum is just getting going, theres no newbies yet, there wont be really until November lol.
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Old 10-08-03   #20
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i guess romancing several different forums isn't going against the polygamy taboo..is it?
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