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Old 10-04-03   #1
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Jealousy? Or merely predatory instinct

My friend has a large group of close male friends (most of whom are casual friends of mine), but she won't go out with me and them, she will separate us.
I have no designs on any of these men, I see them as friends rather than partners and I would like us all to go out as a group.

How do I show her that i'm not a threat?
She has a boyfriend who she loves and says she wouldn't ruin a friendship by taking it a stage further- I believe her, but it's exasperating having doors slammed (metaphorically) in my face when I just want to be social.

I also enjoy male company more than female company, but I really am no threat to this beautiful, intelligent woman. I just want her to see that.

Any constructive advice welcomed.
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Old 10-04-03   #2
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[quote=Demile]

How do I show her that i'm not a threat?
She has a boyfriend who she loves and says she wouldn't ruin a friendship by taking it a stage further- I believe her, but it's exasperating having doors slammed (metaphorically) in my face when I just want to be social.


tell her that you are a lesbian.

so that way she could have a pretty good idea that you will not go after her man. then if she know's that you like women. just get a friend and have her play along with you on the lesbian scam. so she doesn't get a fucked up idea in her head that you are after her instead of her boyfriend.
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Old 10-04-03   #3
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p.s. if that doesn't work then nothing else will.
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Old 10-05-03   #4
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how come no one else is answering this post yet?
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Old 10-05-03   #5
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Because they think i'm talking about me, not my friend. And she knows i'm not a lesbian. For sure. There have beens doubts lol, but only when i'm drunk.
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Old 10-05-03   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demile
Because they think i'm talking about me, not my friend. And she knows i'm not a lesbian. For sure. There have beens doubts lol, but only when i'm drunk.
hehe yeah being drunk can have that affect on some people.

but that was the only idea i had inside my head at that the time. but i'm saying that you should act like a "fake lesbian and not a real one." so that way she would understand that you are not after her man. also you can sit down and have a talk with her about her man and let her know that you are not going to go after him. thoughs are the two options that you can do for your self.
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Old 10-05-03   #7
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Hmm, thankyou shy but she knows i'm not after her man. She doesn't think i'm after anyone, she just likes to seperate her friends.
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Old 10-05-03   #8
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my opinion is that she's not much of a friend, make plans with the guys on your own, and leave her out of the loop. She can't be too beautiful and intelligent if she's that insecure with her relations.

I don't think there will ever be a way you can make her see that...so just go around her. Don't let her insecurities ruin your friendships.
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Old 10-05-03   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demile
Hmm, thankyou shy but she knows i'm not after her man. She doesn't think i'm after anyone, she just likes to seperate her friends.
sorry about the miss understanding. i'm a little bit out of it today hehehe. i'm laughing at my self right know.
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Old 10-05-03   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordyn
my opinion is that she's not much of a friend, make plans with the guys on your own, and leave her out of the loop. She can't be too beautiful and intelligent if she's that insecure with her relations.

I don't think there will ever be a way you can make her see that...so just go around her. Don't let her insecurities ruin your friendships.

I'm not good enough friends with the guys to go out with just them, and I love her very much- she's amazing.
I should stop worrying. It will all work out, what will be will be and nothing I say will change that. I'm having a 'believing in fate' moment.
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Old 10-05-03   #11
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Umm, have you asked her why she does that??
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Old 10-05-03   #12
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She says she finds it easier.
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Old 10-06-03   #13
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LOL my curious nature... finds what easier????
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Those things that produced your ex......you know, the bitchmakers! Metagion

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

You're not who you are, you're only what other people think you are

Your more Delusional than you think I am! {Duck Dodgers}
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Old 10-06-03   #14
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as long as she keeps you seperated from them, you'll never know them well enough.
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Old 10-06-03   #15
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True. Well I will just live with it. I complain periodically but seeing as there is very little I can actually do about it without losing her I should stop.
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