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Old 10-31-03   #41
harli
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yeah.
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Old 11-02-03   #42
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the last day of my vacation is today. well although I am sad to see it end I had a great week and a much needed escape from myself. Yesterday I never got to jam with my friend matt because he was having some real love problems, and since i felt he shouldn't be alone I drove to his house and abducted him, and went to rockaway mall and went into hot topic. Funny thing is I already ordered shit online a couple days before so i really didn't want to spend any money, but I did find a t-shirt and a cd worth buying. I drove back to the phillipsburg mall so he could meet up with his girlfriend and lo and behold while eating in the cafe in the mall Dave, Mark, Jaquelyn, and Mike were there so I got to hang out with them for a little bit but Dave and Mike left to go to a stripper bar with Bill because it was his bachelor party. So I hung out with Mark and Jaquelyn at their apartment and watched some movies. Willard was a good flick but Troll 2 was just plain bad..... no it was worse.
However it is ironic that my vacation is over, because I am actually a little sick but I don't feel like total crap yet.
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Old 11-03-03   #43
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okay now I feel like crap..... lack of sleep, sneezy, coughing a lot my head hurts, i think this sucks a lot.

I feel like my luck has fianlly shifted and this week is going to be bad. I knew it was coming, and now it is time to see what is going to break my will. all I can say is bring it on I like pain.
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Old 11-05-03   #44
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well It is as I have foreseen my world is shifting in another direction that I never thought I would be going. I am changing departments in the store that i work because I went to the store manager and voiced my opinion of what was really going on i my head. I don't know if that was a good idea or not but I am wondering where I am going to be put. Why do I always feel like a complete and utter failure? I am sick still but I am taking a powerful medication so hopefully I can at least have my health. I hate my life.
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Old 11-06-03   #45
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Now I just hit rock bottom again this time really really hard. I found out today that my aunt's lupis is getting worse and that she may be too far gone for the new treatment, and that she may not have very long to live. I have no one to talk to and now I am really really beyond emotional repair. I wish I could trade what's left of my life for hers. I would gladly do it without question. I can't handle this much longer....
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Old 11-07-03   #46
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My cold isn't as bad as it was but I'm still coughing .... haven't slept very well lately, but oddly I'm not tired. these drugs are keeping me awake...... i hope today goes well
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Old 11-08-03   #47
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The only good thing about being sick is you get the weirdest but coolest dreams, and the one I had last night actually inspired me enough to want to make it a movie script.

In other news, My best friend Matt is getting a song of his put on a NYC radio station as a promotional thing. He seems to be making quite a name for himself. He opened up for Mushroom Head and I believe he is opening up for someone on Dec. 23rd.
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Old 11-09-03   #48
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I feel dull and boring today. I just want to crawl in a hole and shut myself away from the world.
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Old 11-10-03   #49
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I have just realized how much I suck at everything I do. I want to trade my life in for a new one please. This one blows. Everything I like doing I suck at. I am worthless .
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Old 11-10-03   #50
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HEy man! sounds like you had a blast on vacation. AHHHH little Italy! i've been to NY twice in recent years and always loved the different districts, is the fang club still up and running? it was a cool vampire/goth club, with only a modicum of pretense you get at other places of that nature! i too am suffering a cold and nursing a mother fucker of a hang over right now so I feel your pain bro!
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Old 11-11-03   #51
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Where is the Fang Club? I don't believe I came across it but little italy got really small fast.... china town seems to be taking over big time little italy used to be like 8 blocks now it's like3 tops scary....
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Old 11-11-03   #52
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Last night was a legendary experience..... I decided to break out the guitar last night and started to take the rust off my fingers... haven't played in awhile when all of a sudden I started playing a riff that sounded familiar. I wasn't really looking at the fretboard at all but when I finally decided to I broke out my 'bible of tablature' and I was dumb founded. I had unwittingly been playing the beginning riff to ThunderStruck by Ac Dc ..... and in perfect timing too.... geez when I fuck around on the guitar I sound good but if I actually try to play something I suck that was always the rule. Perhaps the tide has turned?
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Old 11-12-03   #53
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Today I am irritated. My fuse is short and people keep annoying me with their stupid petty problems
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Old 11-12-03   #54
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on a lighter note I finally found my medical insurance card that i have been looking for for over a year.... yay.... that means soon I have to make an appointment with the doctor for my surgery.....
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Old 11-12-03   #55
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YEah turns out Fang club closed last year ( I was in NYC 2 years ago) cool place tho. There is still an on going night called "long black Veil" that we went to and is still happening. Thats how it is in clubs nights come and go or move to different venues
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Old 11-13-03   #56
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yeah a friend of mine once got these caps for his teeth at this place called andromeda's in new york and because he did that they put him on a special mailing list for certain club functions that move around all over the city and all he has to do is wear the fangs to get in or something like that.... and show the letter i guess... kind of interesting.
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Old 11-13-03   #57
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turned out to be an interesting day though today.... stayed three hours of over time, have a possible band audition coming up .... going to schedule the surgery for sometime in february so I'll have to take a week off of work. wow 4000 dollar surgery and I take a week off...lost 3 pounds today ..... off tomorrow but can't think of anything to do.... what's weird is that I feel like my luck is changing again even better than last time.... it's like somehow I can by force of will change my luck for a brief period of time.....I suddenly feel very lively....
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Old 11-15-03   #58
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And Today was a mixture of days if I say so myself..... Stayed 2 and a half ghours of OT, hit an unnatural burst of creativity.... I am working on writing song lyrics for an album I plan to create with my friend matt based on Grimm's fairy tales (not going to say which ones) and making them a little more twisted than they really are and making it a mixture of goth darkwave and metal .... it's a weird vision but I have already started and have finished a batch of song lyrics but I may redo it because i don't think it's any good. Still waiting for my software to come to start my movie projects.... but when it comes well let's just say I am to become a machine capable of massive amounts of creative chutzpah. Just hope I don't burn out to quickly....
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Old 11-15-03   #59
SyntheticMartyr
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Well Today promises to be good. My friend Kim is going to try to set me up with some mystery chick.... this may be interesting.....oh well at least if things don't work out I get to make a new friend *smiles*. Although I am probably going to wind up being at work til 1 am again .... oh well can't always have cake and eat it too.
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Old 11-16-03   #60
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I am so tired today. All I want to do is sleep, and can't cause I have to work. I have worked over a 40 hour work week in just 3 days and I am about spent. However my next day off until Thursday... for some reason they haven't changed it to wednesday yet..... not sure why. I am cranky today and why is it when i just want to rest and relax and sit there by myself that everyone insists bugging the shit out of me??? it's like they know you are in a foul mood and bring their sunshine gumdrop world to piss you off on purpose....well they can keep their mickey mouse donald duck fantasies because this guy has some chaos to spread.
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