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Old 08-28-03   #1
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a single mother to be

well about 2 weeks ago my babydaddy left me for an ex he was with 2 years ago and who happens to live in poland. i am so scared to be a single mother and am not sure if i can do it by myself, but then i don't want to give it up for adoption. i just wanted to know maybe are there some single mothers who could give some advice or even mothers who are still with the father please i am terrified.
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Old 08-28-03   #2
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actually advice or anything from anyone would be great at this point.
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Old 08-28-03   #3
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you know what i'm sure that you will do fine. just get a family member or a couple of friends that could you out in this case. i hope this was something at least cause this is all i could think of of.
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Old 08-28-03   #4
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well darling if youre a single mother to be i am SURE there are lots of friends and family that are more then happy to help you out. just make sure you stay on your feet and be strong, this baby needs someone to look up to. and this really good be easier then you think. even though youre scared to be a single mother, dont go around searching for a new father for the next ten years, let things happen. and when you do meet someone make sure they would be a terrific father and someone your child will love. but hey, thats in the future.....for now just concentrate on staying on your feet and providing everything that child needs. raise the kid right and youll end up happy im sure.

oh, and if you ever see the baby's daddy again, kick him in the balls. hard.
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Old 08-31-03   #5
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yeah give him a good kick in the fucking nuts, over and over and over! oh, and you'll be a great mother. i think in a way it's better that fucking asshole left. you can raise your child right, even without a father. take it easy and remember who you really love and i'm sure you'll do just fine!
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Old 08-31-03   #6
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thanx for the support you guys! and yeah i'll give him what he deserves he wants a son which is what i'm having and he'll never get to see him.
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Old 09-03-03   #7
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i cant give much advice bnecause i bet your 2o suttin and im 15....so best luck is talk to magic ninjet about it and try your best or one of tha df.com medz cause magic ninjet is a busy girlie !!!but she's smart....lil nosy but smart..
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Old 09-04-03   #8
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~sighs~ .... well I read this post after I read and posted to your other thread.

First off... and I say this because it seems me it should be your first priority.... grow up. Now ... I know I just pissed you off ... and if it sounded harsh ... it was because I ment it to be. Being a single mom... by choice and under good circumstances is a harsh reality. After reading your posts ... I watched you go from ... give me advise about being a single mom.... to giving the father of your child "what he deserves" .

Well sweetie ... it took two of you to make that baby ... it is neither a fix it for your relationship ... or a weapon to hurt or destroy its father. It is a child... period. A little life that depend on you to be the grown up... to make good decisions... to see that it comes first.

So... my advise .... from one single mother to another... your energy is best used for other things ... besides revenge, mind games and manipulation... where that childs father is concerned.

Raising a child ... even in the best of situations is a hard, endless and tiring prospect. Being a parent is perhaps the most difficult job in the world... you have no idea just how difficult ... until you experience it.

And if this child and its welfare and happiness are not your PRIME concern .... then again I say .... grow up.

But if you really want someone to help you out... talk to you and give you advise .... on being a single mom... I would be happy to do so.... I live it each and every day.
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Old 09-04-03   #9
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ima acucumber ~forever~ hehe
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Old 09-06-03   #10
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There is a lot of help for single mothers out there, beyond friends and family...there should be some government programs in place, every state has them, from this point on, your wants and needs are irrelevant, it becomes the child...think hard about your decision...it's never easy, a social life is almost hopeless to pursue, and you will have responsibilty for the rest of your life financially and emotionally.

Just make sure you get good medical care, a healthy baby is important...otherwise there will be a whole different realm of issues besides the normal parenting headaches.

Don't use the child for revenge, they're not a weapon...leave it up to the child to decide...and give the father a chance to see the baby. Otherwise it could come back and bite you...just tell your child that he left, and leave it up to the father to go into details...a bad relationship is never good for children.

Be ready for everything that olivia said and so much more. It's hard, there are times that i think i could give my children away, especially when there's fun to be had and no babysitter. but i look at them and realize, they are everything in my life...and i could never do so either...

And i agree with the idea to not look for a father, while somethings are nicer having a partner when raising children, it makes it no more easier.
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Old 09-07-03   #11
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first olivia you have in no way pissed me off i have a lot of growing to do i understand that
and right now nothing is more important than this baby being healthy

and jordan i know my needs are no longer important but for the rest of eerything both of you have said
thank you and i will think very hardabout all of it.
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Old 09-08-03   #12
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Old 09-08-03   #13
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My Mom was a single parent. To give you a glimpse of what really happens my older Sister by nine years was raised by my Grandmother. My older Sister now gives Grandma credit for everything.

I lived in total poverty until I was four. My Mom worked full time, so after school I'd go to the baby-sitters. As far as I can remember. Sometimes we'd do laundry. My Sister was old enough or not their, she'd hang out with her friends. We'd get on the bus, go to the laundry mat and pick up groceries. It wasn't too bad, but it was shaming. We were very poor.

My Father never gave child support. He would take care of me in the Summer and by me gifts. Eventually we moved in with Grandma for several years. My Mom got re-married. My Step-Father never took me in as his daughter. He won't give my ten dollars for gas, just to get to school and back. If we go shopping for Christmas, he buy under $50.00 of clothes for me. He'll by school books for me, but everything, I have to pay back.

My both my Grandmothers have bought me cars. If I need anything my Mom tries to get it for me. Then he yells at her when she needs money.

On top of it all, everyone thinks I'm rich. My relatives might be doing okay, but I have to work very hard for everything and still end up with nothing. When my Mom says she can't afford to help my when she has a new car, expensive paintings all over the walls and everything else and I don't know if I even have a stable future, burns me up on the inside.

So some advice. Try to be a little less selfish.
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Old 09-08-03   #14
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This is pretty much the same thread that I just responded to, but I was kind short so I'll post again right here. Okay, I know what you are going though is though, very very though. But, bottom line is that you have a baby growing in you now and you have to be strong for that baby. I know the feelings you must be having, like there's a pit in your stomach, like your out of air, like you have nowhere to turn, maybe even that now you don't know if you want the baby. These are all normal things to think right now. You have to know though that you are not alone, and that little baby inside you is right there with you. He or she is your life now, your breath, your soul. You have to make them everything, with or without a baby's daddy around. And, no amount of crying and begging will make it okay again, only time will. If you need to talk to someone, pm me. I've been there and back again, I know what it's like.
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Old 09-08-03   #15
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Actually, always say nice things about baby's daddy. Especially if baby never meets them. Their opinions of their parents effects how they perceive themselves. I know my Father, atleast. When my Mom bitches I tell her off. Other people out there don't get that luxery and some messed up people think their Dad is nothing but a sperm doner and a loser.

Think about it.
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