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Old 08-27-03   #1
ArcaneScarlette
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How soon is too soon?

Okay here's my dilemma. I'm in a wonderful relationship with somebody who embodys everything i've ever wanted in a man since I was a little girl. He shares my same political views, he's attractive, he's sweet, he doesn't care about my past, doesn't judge me in any way, shape or form, drove an hour like 2 weeks ago to bring me soup because i was sick, and above all else he makes me happy.
Before I go on though let me give you some background on my previous relationships. I was with another man for 3 years, My Bipolar got bad and he ditched me, compleatly and utterly destroying me. Eventually I moved on and had a few casual relationships. This past winter we got back together and dated for about 6 months. Things turned sour when I got suspicious of a few things. He wanted to move into together and was looking for apartments and I just counldn't do it. He told me he wanted to break up with me directly after the funeral of one of my good friends, but being the nice guy he is he waited a few until my birthday. This guy compleatly destroyed my self esteem and faith in relationships. I found out 2 nights ago that he cheated on me and lied to me the whole time. So it makes me leery in my judgement of people.
So anyways Mr.Wonderful casually brings up marriage the other day. I thought he was just kidding around but then I realized he was being serious. Neither of us are into the church thing, or care for tradition so we were thinking about just going to the court and doing it. I can seriously see myself with him for the rest of my life. I want to marry him, but my friends and family are going to be very skeptical...as we haven't been dating very long. So I guess I'm asking...How soon is too soon to get married???
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Old 08-27-03   #2
Kendra
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how soon is to soon to get married? i don't know how to answer that one my dear. but you seem pretty serious about this prince charming of yours. are you for certian that he is the right one? if he is the right one as you have said he is. then go a head and marry him. but if i were you. i would give it another year. so that you can finally be sure of this guy.
i don't know if i helped out any.
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Old 08-28-03   #3
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ummm, so your saying the guy that diched you, cheated on you, left you for whatever reasons, is your perfect match??

it's late, i'm tired, and a little sauced... i may have misread..
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Old 08-28-03   #4
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i think that you should think about it for at least a couple of months and then maybe get engaged and stay there for awhile and then if you two still feel the same about this marriage thing go ahead and i wish you all the happiness in the world, but my personal opinion is to say fuck men and fuck love there is no "prince charming"
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Old 08-28-03   #5
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anything less than i would say 2 years is too soon. even at the 1 year mark with my girlfriend this August, we still have so much to learn about each other.
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Old 08-28-03   #6
Sad Mephisto
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Wait.
Just wait.
Don't think that it must be "2 years", "500 days" or "123456 hours" or "get married on 1st January 2005" etc. It's no use.
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Old 08-28-03   #7
SeductiveShadow
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I have always been of the mind that a marriage is just the formal ceremony for the rest of the world to acknowledge what the 2 already know, and therefore superfluous... save any tax breaks/insurance benefits that are recognized... I say be happy in the love you have for each other and ask yourselves why at this point in time is marriage neccessary... you can think you know someone for a lifetime and still not really know all about them... I am not saying you should or shouldn't - just offering food for thought
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Old 08-28-03   #8
Sad Mephisto
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Hmmmm.... interesting point of view, but I must disagree. I think that marriage is necessary when two people in love want to show that they want to be together for forever.
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Old 08-28-03   #9
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why do they need to show it? no one else in the world should matter
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Old 08-28-03   #10
Sad Mephisto
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Uh.. I don't know!
*fell from the bridge into the chasm*

Maybe they just want to. You know:"Look everyone! We're together! Nothing will split us".. and so on...
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Old 08-28-03   #11
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which is fine if you need that, I just don't find it a necessity is all... different strokes for different folks... I just follow the line if I know what is true in my heart I dont' have a need for others to know or care
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