Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions
Home Register FAQ
Go Back   Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions > Welcome > Socialize
Reload this Page my favorite church bulletin bloopers
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-25-03   #1
*Tizzie*
Pissed off little thing
 
*Tizzie*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 1,022
*Tizzie* is on a distinguished road
Credits: 23,832
my favorite church bulletin bloopers

there is something infinately funny about church bulletin bloopers. when you think of church, you think of something over-stuffy, and NEVER funny. so here goes.

- Tuesday, at 4pm, there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk come early.

- Thursday, at 5pm, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be Little Mothers please meet with the pastor in his study.

- One Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper.

- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.

- The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Belzer.

- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

- Don't let worry kill you off--Let the church help.
__________________
is this real? am i dreaming?

is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-03   #2
4n93L0f637r4y4L
i don't like you
 
4n93L0f637r4y4L's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: :h3LL
Posts: 112
4n93L0f637r4y4L is on a distinguished road
Credits: 3,420
ROFFLMFAO great one tizzie....i guess church can be fun afterall.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
//4n93L_0f:637r4y4L
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-03   #3
*Tizzie*
Pissed off little thing
 
*Tizzie*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 1,022
*Tizzie* is on a distinguished road
Credits: 23,832
hehehe, i love church bulletin bloopers! it doesn't ALL have to be bad...
__________________
is this real? am i dreaming?

is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-03   #4
*Tizzie*
Pissed off little thing
 
*Tizzie*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 1,022
*Tizzie* is on a distinguished road
Credits: 23,832
here's some more!

- The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

- This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

- On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

- The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

my personal favorite!!!
- The next song will be "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

- The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

- The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.

- Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

- Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say, "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

- Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.

- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

- Today... Christian Youth Fellowship Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.

- Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

hehe, i should create a church based on these.
__________________
is this real? am i dreaming?

is Offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Recent Threads
Whats your job?
11-20-07 14:57
Last post by JeNn_DeViLz
2 Hours Ago 16:28
what surprised you today?
04-11-13 17:55
Last post by thefr0g
1 Day Ago 14:31
what have you eaten...
12-24-03 19:43
Last post by JeNn_DeViLz
1 Day Ago 10:09
Darkforum Youtube!
03-25-13 07:48
Last post by JeNn_DeViLz
1 Day Ago 09:32
Science Disproves...
11-01-10 14:38
by Pahu
Last post by JeNn_DeViLz
1 Day Ago 09:27
vote or die
1 Week Ago 01:56
Last post by JeNn_DeViLz
1 Day Ago 09:20
vote or die
1 Week Ago 02:02
Last post by Sic Simon
2 Days Ago 21:45
long Sunday
3 Weeks Ago 18:00
by DaxterK
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 01:46
BATH SALT ZOMBIES
12-04-13 11:20
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 23:34
I'm drinking Vodka,...
09-02-17 23:28
by thefr0g
Last post by JeNn_DeViLz
1 Week Ago 22:44
Online Users: 79
0 members and 79 guests
No Members online
Most users ever online was 1928, 06-09-15 at 18:20.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0 RC2


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com

© 2006 - 2016 Dark Forum | About Dark Forum | Advertisers | Investors | Legal | A member of the Crowdgather Forum Community