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Old 08-03-03   #1
IdleParis
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Truths

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the joy.



GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.



THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . .. having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is .. . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
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Old 08-03-03   #2
Evil Cheese fry
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the last one is so sad....i loveold people....
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"Thou hast bred hate where there dwelt none
And for this grave mistake
How thou art fallen Morning Sun
The proud will be abased"

He would not heel nor fake a bow
Murmur curses to the wind
And lo, the wrath of god swept down...

"Thou art no more an angel filled
With light, but a leech to be abhorred
And thou shalt suffer My burning will"...
Quoth this raven: "Nevermore"

Nevermore
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Old 08-04-03   #3
IdleParis
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Yeah - I do but since the restraining order I can no longer sneak around the homes at night LOL
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Old 08-06-03   #4
Evil Cheese fry
cheese gone wrong
 
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errrrrrrrrrmmmmm
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"Thou hast bred hate where there dwelt none
And for this grave mistake
How thou art fallen Morning Sun
The proud will be abased"

He would not heel nor fake a bow
Murmur curses to the wind
And lo, the wrath of god swept down...

"Thou art no more an angel filled
With light, but a leech to be abhorred
And thou shalt suffer My burning will"...
Quoth this raven: "Nevermore"

Nevermore
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Old 08-06-03   #5
IdleParis
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what? :laugh:
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Old 08-09-03   #6
Evil Cheese fry
cheese gone wrong
 
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u crazy :messedup:
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"Thou hast bred hate where there dwelt none
And for this grave mistake
How thou art fallen Morning Sun
The proud will be abased"

He would not heel nor fake a bow
Murmur curses to the wind
And lo, the wrath of god swept down...

"Thou art no more an angel filled
With light, but a leech to be abhorred
And thou shalt suffer My burning will"...
Quoth this raven: "Nevermore"

Nevermore
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Old 08-25-03   #7
DeirdreMayfair
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old people are sweet my grandpa's kind of crazy though..literally..
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Blah Blah Blah
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Old 09-28-03   #8
gimball
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It's all very true. The Santa Claus one was a little edgy.

Good Humor ~ sigh ~
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Old 09-30-03   #9
Darling Apathy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IdleParis
Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

mine is mostly nuts and a little bit sweet.
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I love you for hating me. I hate you for loving me. Save yourself. - Peter Steele

My vices are cheaper than therapy.

You say I'm a bitch like its a bad thing.
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