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Old 07-31-03   #1
Harry Hard-On
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MovieBitch With Harry And Kain!

Welcome To The Grand Opening Of MovieBitch!

This thread will further more be the location of bitching about movies, staring yours truely-

Happy Harry Hard-On and The Amazing Mr. Kain!

Here we will post our Movie Reviews and our thoughts about the biz...

Including The Following Subjects:

Actors-Directors-Writers-Old Favorites-Movie News-DVD's-and Up & Coming Projects.

And of course, expect....A LOT OF BITCHING!

Please, feel free to join in our conversations and post your own thoughts on our topics.
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Old 07-31-03   #2
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I figure that since this is a new thread, why not open it with a topic that I have scarcely ever touched. This would be the topic of George Lucas and his Star Wars prequels.

I think that that Mr. Lucas is making a terrible mistake, and even if these films were meant to be made, he is making the completely wrong. So what if HE was the original creator, it seems to me that he's gone senile, or some damn messed up thing has happened to the old man's head.

Money. He doesn't need anymore. So can this be about the money? Perhaps. I really wish that people weren't so greedy.

Harry, your thoughts?
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Old 07-31-03   #3
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Mi Sir Jar Jar Binks!
Mi Sa Suck Ya Dick!

The prequels suck balls.

Ok..Phantom Menace could have fit into a 15min backstory. We don't need two and a half hours of this little dweeb from "Jingle All The Way" fucking up all that is to become the Most Wicked Fuckin Evil Dude Of The Galaxy.

And I don't give a shit if the "pod scene" was killer. It was unnecessary, and drawn out.

Then comes "Attack Of The Clones" again the role of Anakin was cast wrong. Who the Fuck is this kid? He can't act for SHIT! Every line he has he either overacts or underacts!

BTW, I LOVE Natalie Portman! But she couldn't pull this out of the dumpster. Eversince "Leon: The Proffesional" her career seems to have gone downhill.

Ok, I will admit that Yoda kicks ass in the battle against Christopher Lee. BUT IT WAS 2 MINUTES! Compared to a Two and a Half Hour Bore Fest!

I know the politics are important and all, but ZZZZZZZZZZ....Cut some of that shit out please George! We know what the fuck happens! Do we really need all this dialogue?
And WHAT BAD DIALOGUE!

*Around the survivors, a perimeter create!*

Lets hope the third episode doesn't suck balls.

I'll end now with a prediction as to what I think will happen.

I predict that Anakin will kill Padme right after she sends Luke and Leiah away. And in killing her will complete his journey to the Darkside.

Just a thought..
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Old 07-31-03   #4
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Probably true. I hope to see it if it does indeed happen that way.

While I didn't have too much trouble with Hayden as Anakin, I DID have a problem with the first film. Too long and yes, it would have worked as a 15 minute backstory at the beginning of the second film. Had they don this, it would have been possible for them to make another one...maybe even one that doesn't suck.

I also think that they just don't have enough time for this next one. There is too much story to fill in. Whatever, George. Whatever.
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Old 07-31-03   #5
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How about....

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING!

I can't wait, loved Two Towers and Fellowship.

My nutz are pumped just to see the ten minute preview on the Two Towers DVD.
I'll be sure to post my thoughts on Aug 22, when I get it in my store.

Also, can't wait for the Two Towers Extended DVD! I think I'll get to watch that on Nov. 14th.

It's so far away!
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Old 07-31-03   #6
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Now there are some great films. One of the only times you'll see me happy with what they change from the book is for these films.

They took out all of that unnecissary garabage that was too drawn out and pointless, and crammed the rest into the Lord of the Ring's three different parts.

New Zealand's wacky silly-horror director Peter Jackson did an awesome job for this. He deserves Acadamey Awards.
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Old 07-31-03   #7
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My pants swell with excitement over Return of the King. :metalhead


Now, here's a subject I might present... how the fuck did the same man that directed El Mariachi, Desperado, and the hopefully good Once Apon a Time in Mexico. Turn in to a childrens movie director? How did Robert Rodriguez go to such shit??
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Old 08-01-03   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Priest
My pants swell with excitement over Return of the King. :metalhead


Now, here's a subject I might present... how the fuck did the same man that directed El Mariachi, Desperado, and the hopefully good Once Apon a Time in Mexico. Turn in to a childrens movie director? How did Robert Rodriguez go to such shit??
Simple, kids movies make money.

They are easy to write, easy to sell, and very easy to market.

I belive he wanted to make himself a nestegg and it worked.

Now he is set for life, and can feel free to make any movie he pleases.

So I understand, but I still won't forgive him...not yet anyways.
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Old 08-01-03   #9
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Here is some interesting news about the sequel to "The Ring" I found on http://www.comingsoon.net

Naomi Watts reprises her role as newspaper reporter Rachel Keller.

In the Japanese sequel to "Ringu", the main character's son starts developing the same destructive psychic powers which the girl had when she was alive. The reporter must figure out a way to stop it so that the girl doesn't kill them in this way.

Will the new version follow a similar plot? We'll see soon.
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Old 08-01-03   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Priest
My pants swell with excitement over Return of the King. :metalhead


Now, here's a subject I might present... how the fuck did the same man that directed El Mariachi, Desperado, and the hopefully good Once Apon a Time in Mexico. Turn in to a childrens movie director? How did Robert Rodriguez go to such shit??
why yes! by all means robert, do NOT deviate in the slightest in what it is you would like to do with your career!
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Old 08-01-03   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Hard-On
Simple, kids movies make money.

They are easy to write, easy to sell, and very easy to market.

i dont believe that its all as easy as you seem to believe. trying to find a voice in a movie or book etc...that will appeal to children is a bit of a tough road to travel. children arent mindless simpletons that will sit through anything.

make money. heh. tell that to the disney execs after TREASURE PLANET opened.
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Old 08-02-03   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecraftian~tentacle
i dont believe that its all as easy as you seem to believe. trying to find a voice in a movie or book etc...that will appeal to children is a bit of a tough road to travel. children arent mindless simpletons that will sit through anything.

make money. heh. tell that to the disney execs after TREASURE PLANET opened.
Childrens ignorence is only surpassed by their parents.

Let me stick to the movie "Treasure Planet" for a few moments...

The fact that Treasure Planet wasn't a success, was not due to the kids. It was due to the fact that their parents were uninterested. Disney did a bad job of marketing.

I work in a video store, and let me tell you
KIDS WILL WATCH ANYTHING!
It was insane the day Treasure Planet came out.
We couldn't keep it on the shelves for weeks.

I'm not saying that they are stupid for not going to Treasure Planet, they just buy into everything.

IE-Pokemon, Telletubies, and the worst abomination of all VEGETALES!

Kids today are selling out at an extraordinary rate.

Any kid who enjoys learning their morals from a talking Pickel can kiss my ass.

I'm not saying its the kids' fault, it's just they don't seem to put up much of a fight against this shit.

99% of all kids movies make at least double the price spent to make it.

Robert knew what he was doing.
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Old 08-02-03   #13
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Alright let me fist tell you guys and gals how we rate movies.

We will use a 5 star scale.

5 Stars=Perfect, 0 Stars=J-lo flick

Now that that is done, on with our first review...

Today we saw "American Wedding".

I was sceptical walking into it. I figured it would be the same shit as the first two.
I was pretty much right, same outrageous sexual humor, same dick and fart jokes.

However, a few of the cast members from the first and second movies. Thankfully the really shitty ones.

With Chris Klien, Mena Suvari, and Tara Reid gone it left much more time for "Finch" and tons more of "Stiffler".

The bachelor party scene was a personal favorite of mine, great stuff.

The music was great! Really good chocies here.

Add in the T&A , it's a good one ta go see.

4 outta 5

Losing one star due to the fact it was a second sequel and the material is getting a little tired.
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Old 08-02-03   #14
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Well, I have to agree with Harry on about everything here. Although I wish that they would have at least mentioned Klein and Suvari's characters as they did Shannon's.

The jokes were a bit of the same, but I think that's what made these films what they are so I will only take half a star away.

The best comedy this year. 4.5 out of 5.
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Old 08-03-03   #15
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You all should know how I hate to sound insensitive, but I must be so here. I HATE RETARD MOVIES!

Not retarded movies, but retard movies. Forrest Gump, Sling Blade, I Am Sam, etc. The reason I bring this up is because I just saw a preview for a show called Radio. Cuba Gooding Jr. will play a retard (mentally handi-capped...there is a phrase for the mentally handi-capped. It's retarded.).

ANYONE can play a believable retard. Like Edward Norton did in that DeNiro flick (yeah, he was only PRETENDING to be retarded but that's my point). There should be no more awarding of this shit, no more great critic reviews, NO MORE RETARDS. Sure, I don't mind if a film contains a retard (Something About Mary, Cube), but I am tired of this Other Sister bullshit where the film sort of revolves around a retard. I am DONE with it.

I didn't mind Forrest Gump the first time I saw it and I even liked Billy Bob Thorton's demented version of a retard story with Sling Blade. But rewards they deserve not.

They might be patronized and called special, but they really aren't. Retards are anything but, and there should be no more films about them.
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Old 08-03-03   #16
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You're SAM!?!

What about Leagally Blonde 2, and Gili?

Don't forget about every Kate Hudsen Movie!

I happened to really like "I Am Sam" and "Forest Gump".

I really could care less about them getting awards, but I still enjoy the movies.

As for "Radio" I could give a fuck.

It's not the fact it's about a retard, so much that bothers me, it's that it's another "feelgood" sports movie.

I'm so fucking tired of these fuckin sports movies that try to make the game more than just a GAME!

All these movies are doing is catoring to a source of viewed entertainment, whos time has passed.

People would go and watch other people play games in the past because there was nothing else to do! And if you didn't feel like playing you would sit and watch the jock assholes ruff it up.

THAT WAS IT!

Then some corporate jack off walked by one day and thought, "Hey, I bet these idiots would pay to watch this shit?'
"I bet I could charge them admittence, and in exchange for these guys playing, I could give them a small percentage...."

And thus SPORTS began.

I could go the rest of my life not seeing another heartfelt football story about overcoming the odds and making some fucking record in "Sports" history.

Something else I have noticed, is it just me or is it every retard that goes on to do something other then handing out carts at the local Walmart, get his own fuckin movie?

These people are being put on display!

Doesn't this piss anyone off!

I sure as hell wouldn't want a life story made about me if all I did was hand out towels after a fuckin game.

But thats just me, I'm weird.
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Old 08-03-03   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Hard-On
Childrens ignorence is only surpassed by their parents.

Let me stick to the movie "Treasure Planet" for a few moments...

The fact that Treasure Planet wasn't a success, was not due to the kids. It was due to the fact that their parents were uninterested. Disney did a bad job of marketing.

I work in a video store, and let me tell you
KIDS WILL WATCH ANYTHING!
It was insane the day Treasure Planet came out.
We couldn't keep it on the shelves for weeks.

I'm not saying that they are stupid for not going to Treasure Planet, they just buy into everything.

IE-Pokemon, Telletubies, and the worst abomination of all VEGETALES!

Kids today are selling out at an extraordinary rate.

Any kid who enjoys learning their morals from a talking Pickel can kiss my ass.

I'm not saying its the kids' fault, it's just they don't seem to put up much of a fight against this shit.

99% of all kids movies make at least double the price spent to make it.

Robert knew what he was doing.

wait. we ARE talking about children here, right? you act like they should sign petitions and get organized and set up marches and protests! i will admit that would be pretty damn cool..but they are KIDS! you are not looking at things through the eyes of a child anymore. you are looking at things through the mind of an adult. so in that sense i can see what you are saying. but it seems as though if it doesnt work for you, an adult, then it shouldnt work for kids either. thats silly. it is a good thing when movies and such can appeal to both kids and their parents, but it isnt a necessity. well, maybe to the bean counters it is. hehe...

kids are "selling out". sorry but that phrase is so very overused these days to explain away people's dislike for popular things, its pretty much lost its meaning. and to say that the wee folk are doing it is absurd.

how should disney have marketed TREASURE PLANET? i actually thought the first preview i saw for it was pretty good. fast action with some of john williams' score from FAR AND AWAY to back it up. sold the movie as what it was. an adventure flick.

and as long as the morals kids are learning are positive....does it matter where they learn them? kids are bombarded with enough crap these days. if a talking pickle is teaching them how to be a decent person, then more power to the pickle i say! ;}

and i'm sure robert knew what he was doing. he was scratching a creative itch. i guess i would just like to believe that he has some integrity and wanted to make the SPY KIDS movies because he enjoyed the idea and not just to pad his bank account. if it was the latter of the two, then there is your "selling out".
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Old 08-03-03   #18
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You make good points.

Most would have told me to go fuck myself.

Thanks for posting.

But I still detest those evil moral pushing demon fuckin spawn "Vegetales"
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Old 08-03-03   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Hard-On
You make good points.

Most would have told me to go fuck myself.

Thanks for posting.

But I still detest those evil moral pushing demon fuckin spawn "Vegetales"
i respect what you had to say. its just a view point. i'm not here to be a jerk and make enemies or what have you. if it got anywhere near the point of insults being hurled....i would be gone very fast. healthy debate and discussion is what we should be here for.

and you are more than free to despise the vegetables. i'm not a fan of them either actually, so give 'em a good swift kick in the junk for me!
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Old 08-03-03   #20
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and you are more than free to despise the vegetables. i'm not a fan of them either actually, so give 'em a good swift kick in the junk for me!

You know I will. :spam:
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