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Old 07-15-03   #1
Barely Breathing
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20 ways

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.


2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.


3. Every time that someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.


4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".


5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.


6. In the Memo field of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors".


7. Finish all of your sentances with "In accordance with the prophecy".


8. Don't use any punctuation.


9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.


10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.


11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go".


12. Sing along at the opera.


13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.


14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.


15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.


16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".


17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"


18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"


19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".


And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.....

20. Read this and smile...it's called therapy...
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Old 08-10-03   #2
Boomerang
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thank you. I like laughing.
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Old 08-11-03   #3
Barely Breathing
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well i'm glad!
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Old 08-11-03   #4
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i like the coffee one...
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Old 08-11-03   #5
Barely Breathing
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It really annoys people when you end even sentence with In accordance with the prophecy.
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Old 08-12-03   #6
Boomerang
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I actually tried that today. At dinner my mother threw a green bean at my head, and my dad threw his dinner roll. Gotta love that.
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Old 08-12-03   #7
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I try these on my friends, my family is insane enough already. Although I think they have tried a few on me.
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Old 08-18-03   #8
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Old 08-25-03   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
i've heard this one before. hehehe.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
why can i imagine you doing that at K-mart, dri?


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
3. Every time that someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
*laugh* that's something i have to remember. :laugh:


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
actually, i HAVE done that one. during cyber-school.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

that one is deliciously evil. i'll suggest that one to tom for the office. i feel bad if you have highmark blue cross, dri. hehe.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
6. In the Memo field of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors".
this one is by far one of my favorites. i enjoy that. i think i laughed for about 5 minutes over this one.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
7. Finish all of your sentances with "In accordance with the prophecy".
that would get awfully annoying. remember when we used to finish all of our sentences with, "in bed"?


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
8. Don't use any punctuation.
i'd beat ass...


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
shit, i can barely walk! imagine that!


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
that's sickly amusing.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go".
i never told you about how brian developed torette's syndrome after a death metal concert once. it was alek on the speaker at wendy's and brian was like, "can i have a fucking chicken... uhh... i'm sorry... i'm mean chicken sandwich?" that's almost as good. just swear as much as possible while ordering. hehe.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
12. Sing along at the opera.
i don't know. i just don't find that amusing.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
that's sorta funny. but that would piss me off too much if i were on the other end. so it's kinda stupid on the other end.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

oh my god, why do i see myself doing that in a few years?


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
now THAT'S a good one! i enjoy that. in fact, i think i'll tell kayla that for her party on friday. hehe.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".
lol, i'm still laughing over that one.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"
now i'll be damned sure to remember that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
it wouldn't be funny for me to do that, but to be the one watching and videotaping reactions.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DriWicked
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".
i REALLY like that one. i'm going to tell my kids that one day just to see which of them volunteers first.

nice dri. i think that's the first time i laughed all day!
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