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Old 07-10-03   #1
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"Why We Attacked Iraq"

Thought some of you would find this funny.
----------------------------

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction honey.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass
destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find
something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a
war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with
them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons,
so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had
all those big weapons to fight us back with?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons
our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons.
We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was
a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his
country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor,
where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S.
corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain,
it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who
criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is
Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent
to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand,
is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws
that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba
until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started
doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein
came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate
leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by
force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our
friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly
overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate
leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us
invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi Arabians,
hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over
3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of
the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's
heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's
heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back
in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job
fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium
poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would
have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing
flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for
other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's
hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for
stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that
oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public,
with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet
fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes
and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal
oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and
fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our
friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from
Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad
man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of
Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan
talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or
thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call
them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets, I mean, the Russians, are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after
they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our
invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and
the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries
and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we
want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our
friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the
other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our
friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an
enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit
by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America.
Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless
un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what
to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George
W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes,
make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

Response: Good night, Daddy.
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Old 07-12-03   #2
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Old 07-12-03   #3
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Right, you left off threats to allie borders in the area.

It's not that funny.
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Old 07-12-03   #4
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This is radical, and deserving to be a sticky I think. Also the fact that Isrealis treat Palestinians pretty much in the same manner as Jews were treated in Germany once should have been mentioned. Irony never seems to penetrate the minds of those who play so carelessly with people's lives!

Last edited by Lillith; 07-12-03 at 16:17.
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Old 07-12-03   #5
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On the advice of Lillith, it is now sticky...

NMaries: Those reasons were never given as justification for this war, and as such wouldn't enter into the picture...
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Old 07-13-03   #6
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That was hard to follow . . . I imagine that that little kid won't be sleeping well . . . I know that I won't be . . .
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Old 07-15-03   #7
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100 Billion dollars of oil and reovation contracts!!!!

that's why. PS Hussein was making them look bed afterall they put him there!

NEon
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Old 07-19-03   #8
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HA HA ha ha- f u n n y...... ...
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Old 07-20-03   #9
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*LMAO*. The truth hurts the guilty.
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Old 07-29-03   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillith
Also the fact that Isrealis treat Palestinians pretty much in the same manner as Jews were treated in Germany once should have been mentioned.

Sorry to go off topic here.

Lillith, that is the biggest bunch of shit I've ever seen you post. Israel does not have palestinians in gas chambers. They also do not mass murder them by the thousands per day. The palestinians use suicide bombers to target Israeli children, schools, and city buses, killing huge amounts of innocents. Israel uses strategic military action and gets rid of terrorists, and sometimes a civilian is killed. BIG difference. Israel does not have anyone enslaved, they aren't systematically slaughtering anyone. Palestinians are the ones specifically killing children with home made nail bombs. I had hoped you were more intelligent than this. You need to seriously check where you're getting your news from. My opinion of you just went straight downhill.

Back on topic now, that was a pretty funny post up there, but I'm getting really tired of seeing America and the President bashed.
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Old 07-29-03   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duddy
Sorry to go off topic here.

Lillith, that is the biggest bunch of shit I've ever seen you post. Israel does not have palestinians in gas chambers. They also do not mass murder them by the thousands per day. The palestinians use suicide bombers to target Israeli children, schools, and city buses, killing huge amounts of innocents. Israel uses strategic military action and gets rid of terrorists, and sometimes a civilian is killed. BIG difference. Israel does not have anyone enslaved, they aren't systematically slaughtering anyone. Palestinians are the ones specifically killing children with home made nail bombs. I had hoped you were more intelligent than this. You need to seriously check where you're getting your news from. My opinion of you just went straight downhill.

Back on topic now, that was a pretty funny post up there, but I'm getting really tired of seeing America and the President bashed.
I've got to more or less agree with this. To compare the Israelis to the Nazis is very unfair. They do treat the Palestinians like shit though. They care nothing for collateral damage, and they knock down innocent people's houses to create fields of fire. I think I'm right in thinking that more innocent Palestinians die than Israelis, but I'm not 100% on that, or even if people really know who's innocent and who isn't.
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Old 07-30-03   #12
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I'm curious as to who wrote that piece though . . . Anyone know?
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Old 08-08-03   #13
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A bunch of shit from the Reds and Pinks on board here.

Duddy said enough about the Arab-Israeli issue.

The issue with Cuba is that they are an avowed enemy of the USA. Castro's regime supports marxist insurgents all over Latin America. To do business with Cuba is to put money into those marxist guerillas.
The Reds and pinks know this of course, the real reason why they want to lift the embargo on Castro's Cuba.
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Old 08-19-03   #14
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Weren't you the one saying that we should have lifted sanctions on Iraq? But wait, the Iraqi's supposidely had WMDs and links to terrorism! Wouldn't that have essentially had the same effect as if we lifted sanctions on Cuba? I see little difference between the two situations.
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Old 09-03-03   #15
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Here this link sums up my feelings.

http://www.geocities.com/n_maries/politics/agenda.htm
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Old 10-22-03   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duddy
Back on topic now, that was a pretty funny post up there, but I'm getting really tired of seeing America and the President bashed.
No never, i will never tire of seeing george bush's ass dragged through the mud..bring it on!
LOL
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Old 11-12-03   #17
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Why We Attacked Iraq

1. Oil
2. more oil
3. the miliray industrial complex needing business
4. the arms dealers need business
5. Bush had to prove his dick was bigger than Saddams
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Old 11-13-03   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZiggyZ74
Why We Attacked Iraq

1. Oil
2. more oil
3. the miliray industrial complex needing business
4. the arms dealers need business
5. Bush had to prove his dick was bigger than Saddams
More knee jerk conspiracy theory drivel.

Are you aware that Saddam Hussein had frequently offered the US sweetheart deals on oil if we dropped the sanctions against Iraq? So we could have had Iraq's oil all this time. Second, the US is paying hundreds of billions of dollars for the war on Iraq and its subsequent reconstruction. We could have extorted oil as repayment for that, but the Senate voted not to.

Funny how facts tend to get in the way of leftwing ravings...
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Old 11-15-03   #19
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I tend to think of it as being similar to police with a search-warrant. If they show up at your house with one, and you lock your doors and not cooperate them, they're justified in using force, whether you had anything in your house or not.

Saddam did not cooperate, so USA and GB were justified in using force to remove him.
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Old 12-05-03   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qoji
I tend to think of it as being similar to police with a search-warrant. If they show up at your house with one, and you lock your doors and not cooperate them, they're justified in using force, whether you had anything in your house or not.

Saddam did not cooperate, so USA and GB were justified in using force to remove him.
oh because the USA and GB are the world's police? they had no right to intervene, as they have no right to intervene in any other country.
the UN could be compared to a police, they had a search-warrant, and Iraq let them in, but they found nothing... so they had no reason to use force.
but USA and GB know everything better...
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