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Old 07-06-03   #1
yorrick
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what should i do?



my friend sam (thats not her namebut it will sufice)
and i Have been best friends for a long time, despite the fact that she's a girl and I'm a guy I'm closer to her then any of my other friends, you know the kind of person you tell things you'd never tell anyone else? and they tell you things they don't tell anyone else, that sort of thing. very cool.

I love her, and i once asked her out, but she said no and I'm ok with that she's like a sister, only... more or something. anyway here's my problem:

I've been talking to her and watching her for the past few months and i think she might be agy or at least bi. I don't think theres anything wrong with that at all, my real sister is bi, so Its ok by so long as she's happy.

She hasn't said anything about it to me besides a few hints. one night when I was staying over at her house (and I'm totaly ashamedabout this next bit, I felt like scum afterwards) and when i woke up before her ( i always do by a couple of hours) i looked in her desk dawer and took out her diary.

yes it's true, i read her diary. I'm such a bastard. right near the end a few pages from the he lates entry (which transates to about a month or more) she wrote about how she was seeing the world diferently, seeing girls as more atractivly and so on.

and when i asked her who she wanted to go out with at school she would't tell me who, aside from long brown hair in our ancient history class, and not once did she say 'he has...' or 'the boy...' or whatever. I'm fairly certain I know who she means and that this person is a girl.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is should i talk to her about my 'suspicions' (god that word sounds so... dirty or something) or not? what should i do?
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Old 07-07-03   #2
errantrogue
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if she's gay, she's gay... if she's bi, she's bi... so what? if it REALLY bothers you not knowing how she swings, then talk to her about it... but DONT mention the diary... take that bit to your grave...
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Old 07-07-03   #3
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i think you should gradually bring it up in a conversation. like you know mention something about how you admire girls who are gay and have the guts to be open about it or something. then ask her out of pure curiousity. or i dont know, you ll find some way. but yea dont tell her about the diary, thats gonna hurt your friendship.
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Old 07-07-03   #4
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Quote:
if she's gay, she's gay... if she's bi, she's bi... so what? if it REALLY bothers you not knowing how she swings, then talk to her about it... but DONT mention the diary... take that bit to your grave
no, it doesn't bother me, just don't know weather i should ask her if she was up front or not

itchblade: thanks, good idea

both: yeah, i was thinking of not telling her about the diary myself
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Old 07-07-03   #5
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Agree, don't tell her about the diary bit. We all have done something like that, but it's really not right. I, personally, would say that you have been getting a vibe that somethings up and ask her if there's anything she'd like to talk about with you. If she doesn't say anything, just let her know that your there if she changes her mind. If after a while (a few weeks) she doesn't say anthing, I'd come out (in a respectful) manor and just ask her point blank if she's bi or gay. Maybe you can just bring it up in conversation somehow.

BTW, I think it's mega cool that you two are so close. Just don't let that "moreso" love ruin the friendship. If it's ment to be, it will be someday. Your young, just enjoy what you have today.
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Old 07-07-03   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Magic Ninjet
If it's ment to be, it will be someday.
so, all of that women digging confidence was bullshit? men should just knuckle under for the long haul hoping the women they've fallen for will notice them at some point?
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Old 07-07-03   #7
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forget about her and move on to someone else.
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Old 07-07-03   #8
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Originally posted by errantrogue
so, all of that women digging confidence was bullshit? men should just knuckle under for the long haul hoping the women they've fallen for will notice them at some point?
Women do dig confidence, however, that doesn't make the one you want love you back. Just because a man likes blonde hair doesn't mean he's going to like ME. In the end, fate is the deciding factor. But, there are things you can do to tempt fate, ya know?
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Old 07-07-03   #9
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fate...

so much for existentialism, eh?
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Old 07-08-03   #10
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Just because she finds other females attractive, does not mean that shes gay..... And I dunno.... It may just be that she doesnt feel comfortable enough to talk with you about these sorts of things.
Sure, you and her are great friends, but even friends have their own personal secrets....
I'd keep my thoughts to myself, and just continue to support her unconditionally.
if she wants to tell you about it, she will- in her own time.
good luck!
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Old 07-17-03   #11
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whatever man
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Old 07-24-03   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by errantrogue
if she's gay, she's gay... if she's bi, she's bi... so what? if it REALLY bothers you not knowing how she swings, then talk to her about it... but DONT mention the diary... take that bit to your grave...
I agree with erran....dont let her now you read her private thoughts.Just say you have been examining actions for the last few weeks
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Old 07-25-03   #13
yorrick
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thankyou to the people of darkforum, your advice has been veyr help ful. she told me yesterday that she liked a girl in our year, so that problem's been solved, with much releif on my part
thanklyou all
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Old 07-25-03   #14
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very good
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Old 08-17-03   #15
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if it bothers you ask her about it and say that there is a little rumor goin around or just wait for more in her book....and if you like her and you 2 end up goin out and she is a i who knows 2 chicks one guy i dont see a prb LOL
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