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Old 06-06-03   #1
harli
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why do i continue to feel this way?!

i can almost feel everyone in the world looking at me with disgust...like im some sort of fucked up doll, broken and falling to pieces....like i am a disgusting thing that causes them pain to look at. why? i wish i knew. i do so hate to feel this way. it is like they can see the ugly things that i see in my own head and judge me by them. i dont feel good.
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Old 06-06-03   #2
silverflame
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on hun, we all feel that way at some point or another. btw, i like the avi
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Old 06-06-03   #3
harli
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im glad you like my avi! thanks. i have been feeling like this far too often. perhaps it is a tortured artist sort of thing that i must get used to.
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Old 06-06-03   #4
Edge
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I think you must be a charming and kind person.
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I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-06-03   #5
harli
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interesting...and what would lead you to believe that? i often hear that but i cannot understand why. i guess i am nice but why then do i get all the shit in life?
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Old 06-06-03   #6
harli
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i do not even have "friends" anymore.


they all hate me.


but i do think i am better off without them.
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Old 06-06-03   #7
harli
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i do not even have "friends" anymore.


they all hate me.


but i do think i am better off without them.
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Old 06-07-03   #8
harli
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a couple of my "friends" came to my work looking for me yesterday and i was a rude bitch. i was having a terrible day and i had cramps....so i pretty much told everyone to fuck off. later last night when i was done work i got rather depressed because i went home and things sucked even more and i went for a drive. i just wanted to find one of my "friends" to talk to because i needed someone. and of course, no one was around so i spent 2 hours driving and crying as im listening to my new MM cd....i really hate feeling like this. after spending so many years being the "strong" one, everything just had just built up to the breaking point and that was it. i have not cried in years. i hate myself.
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Old 06-07-03   #9
Dirge
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Aww, poor thing, Kinda went through the same thing some "freinds" and I arent talking anymore was really bored and depressed but a true freind stepped up, and its all good. Some times the self we show the world is not our real self at all ya know? Doesnt mean there are those of us who can see through to who someone really is! WHy do you hate yourself?
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Old 06-07-03   #10
harli
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i dont know....i think i really hate the person that i am. i wish i wasnt the way that i am around people....i want to keep my creativity but i wanna trade in my personality. people teel me that they like my personality but i dont. is that rather fucked up?
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Old 06-07-03   #11
Dirge
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Yeah kinda, may I ask what is your Astrological sign, and do you know your rising sign as well?
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Old 06-07-03   #12
harli
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huh? rising sign?


i was born july 23rd...so i am a leo/cancer.
i was born on the cusp.
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Old 06-07-03   #13
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Hmmm, yeah cusp borns of any sign are kind of eccentric. A rising or acendant sign is the sign that the moon was in at the hour of your birth and determines, your outward character were as your Sun sign, the month, is your core personality
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Old 06-07-03   #14
harli
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hmmmmm...how do i find this out? p.s...log into messenger...i sent you an IM.
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Old 06-07-03   #15
Dirge
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MSN?
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Old 06-07-03   #16
harli
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no, yahoo silly!
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Old 06-08-03   #17
Dirge
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Oh yeah Im not on Yahoo instant messenger, tried to get set up but it wont let me ( then again Im no Computer wiz)
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Old 06-08-03   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by lilywhitemm
interesting...and what would lead you to believe that? i often hear that but i cannot understand why. i guess i am nice but why then do i get all the shit in life?
Cause it's always the good guys that has to fight.
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I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-08-03   #19
Dirge
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Preach on Edge, preach on!!!, Like that old saying, nice guys( and girls) finish last. I should know, I was a dick then a doormat now I've found a happy medium!!!! People like to take advantage of an easy goin person, like some of my freinds just used me for rides to the club, started chargen em gas, they dont wanna come out any more, aw well fuck em, I dont wanna go to the top 40 clubs anyway, we got a cool new alternative club here! Dont know what Im trying to say here, but I hope it helps
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Old 06-09-03   #20
yellowhead
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i know exactly how you feel, but dont try and change your personality because you want other people to like it, embrace yourself, and love yourself, because in the end you're all you got. remember, you are always your own worse critic.
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Short order
I took my girlfriend to your last poetry reading,
she said.
Yes, yes? I asked.
She’s young and pretty, she said.
And? I asked.
She hated your
guts.
Then she stretched out on the couch
and pulled off her
boots.
I don't have very good legs,
she said.
All right, I thought, I don't have very good
poetry; she doesn't have very good
legs.
Scramble two.
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