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Old 06-22-02   #1
Starface
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What an evil bitch!

Hoo hoo hoooooo

evilsarahbitch: Hi. Are you the one who lost your dog?
>amybee2003: yes Hi. Did you find him?
>evilsarahbitch: No. Sorry.
>evilsarahbitch: My name is Sarah
>evilsarahbitch: I just saw your poster and wanted to say that I was sorry
>for
>your loss.
>evilsarahbitch: What's your name?
>amybee2003: Amy
>evilsarahbitch: When did you lose him?
>amybee2003: this weeksnd
>evilsarahbitch: What happened?
>amybee2003: Saturday afternoon
>evilsarahbitch: Did he run away?
>amybee2003: not sure
>amybee2003: we put him out back on his chain and when I went out he was
>gone
>evilsarahbitch: I lost my dog a few weeks ago too but I just got a new one
>the other day
>evilsarahbitch: I'm so happy now because I really missed my dog.
>amybee2003: I cant talk long because me and mom are going to go look some
>more
>evilsarahbitch: That's really a shame but at least he is still alive,
>right?
>evilsarahbitch: I wish I could say the same.
>amybee2003: did your dog die that's terrible
>evilsarahbitch: Yeah, he did.
>amybee2003: I'm sorry. how
>evilsarahbitch: Internal bleeding is what the cop said.
>amybee2003: cop?
>evilsarahbitch: Yeah. Cop. Vet, whatever.
>evilsarahbitch: I don't really remember. I was pretty drunk
>amybee2003: was he hit by a car
>evilsarahbitch: no, not at all.
>evilsarahbitch: All my dogs die that way.
>evilsarahbitch: I don't understand it.
>evilsarahbitch: I was just playing with him and he started bleeding from
>his
>ears again
>amybee2003: again?
>evilsarahbitch: yeah. Look, I don't want to talk about it anymore, ok?
>amybee2003: ok im sorry
>evilsarahbitch: It's a pretty sensitive subject for me and I'd just assume
>forget about it.
>evilsarahbitch: I got rid of all of his toys and his bowl.
>amybee2003: that is so sad
>evilsarahbitch: yeah.
>evilsarahbitch: And as soon as I am finished with this community service
>bullshit, it will all be over.
>amybee2003: what are you taking about?
>evilsarahbitch: Nothing. Let's not talk about it.
>evilsarahbitch: I can't bear to think of him anymore.
>evilsarahbitch: I can only imagine what you must be going through now.
>evilsarahbitch: I'm really sorry for your loss.
>evilsarahbitch: The only thing that makes it better for me is my new dog
>evilsarahbitch: I can't imagine what I would do if I lost Sparkles now.
>evilsarahbitch: I've become so attached to him, It's almost like he's my
>own
>child.
>amybee2003: your dog is named sparkles
>amybee2003: sparkles ?
>evilsarahbitch: Yeah, I guess so.
>amybee2003: you guess so?
>amybee2003: my dog was named sparkles too
>evilsarahbitch: Oh really?
>amybee2003: yeh
>evilsarahbitch: I'll be honest with you, I don't really like the name.
>evilsarahbitch: But that was what was on his tags when I found him so╜
>evilsarahbitch: you know.
>amybee2003: you found him
>evilsarahbitch: Yeah, I know.
>evilsarahbitch: That's what I just said isn't it?
>amybee2003: no I mean you found him? I was asking
>evilsarahbitch: yeah, I was driving through this neighborhood in Fulton and
>found him
>evilsarahbitch: That's where I live.
>amybee2003: that's where I live too
>amybee2003: you have sparkles?
>evilsarahbitch: Yeah, I guess it was.
>evilsarahbitch: I hate that fucking name so here is what I've been doing╜
>amybee2003: wait you found my dog ?
>evilsarahbitch: Listen.
>evilsarahbitch: Since all he answers to is Sparkles, here's what I've been
>doing╜
>evilsarahbitch: I call him from way across the yard, right?
>amybee2003: yes. wait what does your dog look like?
>amybee2003: is he a beagle with brown and black spots?
>evilsarahbitch: Will you fucking listen to me?
>amybee2003: yes but answer me
>evilsarahbitch: Stop interrupting me.
>evilsarahbitch: Ok. So I call him from waaaay across the yard and I hold a
>Milk Bone in my hand.
>evilsarahbitch: And I yell, "Here Sparkles!" "Come here boy!"
>evilsarahbitch: And he comes running to me from all the way across the
>yard.
>evilsarahbitch: So the whole time he is running...
>evilsarahbitch: I keep yelling, "Here Sparkles!" so he'll know his name
>evilsarahbitch: And then, when he gets to me, do you know what I do?
>amybee2003: what?
>evilsarahbitch: I WHIP the hell out of him with a fan belt from an old car!
>evilsarahbitch: Then I yell to him, "MONGO MONGO MONGO!!!!!"
>evilsarahbitch: "YOUR NAME IS NOW MONGO!!"
>amybee2003: that's not funny
>amybee2003: is he a beagle with brown and black spots?
>evilsarahbitch: Yeah. How'd you know??
>amybee2003: tell me where you found this dog
>evilsarahbitch: I told you. I found him in Fulton. Last Saturday.
>amybee2003: sarah I lost my dog last saturday and I live in Fulton.
>evilsarahbitch: Wow. That's crazy. What are the chances of that happening
>again?
>amybee2003: you have my dog sparkles
>evilsarahbitch: No. This dog's name is Mongo.
>evilsarahbitch: I think Mongo is a good name.
>evilsarahbitch: All my dogs have been named Mongo.
>amybee2003: where did you find him??!
>evilsarahbitch: Do you think Mongo is a good name?
>amybee2003: answer my question sarah!!!
>evilsarahbitch: It's certainly a lot better than Sparkles.
>evilsarahbitch: What a gay ass name. Who the hell would name a dog
>Sparkles?
>amybee2003: TELL ME WHERE YOU FOUND THIS DOG!!!
>evilsarahbitch: ALRIGHT! Jesus. I don't know. He was chained up behind some
>house but listen╜
>evilsarahbitch: Chains don't stop dogs. Good training stops dogs
>evilsarahbitch: Know what I'm sayin'?
>amybee2003: You took him from my yard??
>evilsarahbitch: Good training╜ and a LOT of beatings.
>amybee2003: YOU STOLE MY DOG??????????
>evilsarahbitch: But you have to use something hard like a fan belt or a
>piece
>of a garden hose
>amybee2003: LISTEN YOU BETTER RETURN SPARKLES TO M EOR I WILL CALL THE
>POLICE
>NOW!
>evilsarahbitch: It also helps if you starve them for a few days too.
>amybee2003: LISTEN TO ME!
>evilsarahbitch: it makes them more receptive to your instructions╜
>amybee2003: SARAH.
>evilsarahbitch: Also, soak them in a 55 gallon drum full of ice water
>overnight.
>amybee2003: YOU ARE NOT FUNNY SARAH NOW ANSWER ME
>evilsarahbitch: See, the trick is to break his spirit so that he knows
>you're
>the master now.
>evilsarahbitch: I have a system called SFBFB
>amybee2003: Sarah. please answer me. you have no idea how worried I am
>about
>him
>evilsarahbitch: See? Starve, Freeze, Beat, Freeze, and Beat again.
>evilsarahbitch: Get it?
>evilsarahbitch: SFBFB. That's the formula for a good dog.
>amybee2003: sarah where do you live
>amybee2003: sarah
>evilsarahbitch: Fuck. hang on
>amybee2003: if you have my dog you have to return him to me
>amybee2003: this is serious I don't know if you think this is a joke or
>what
>amybee2003: are you still there
>evilsarahbitch: yeah hang on. This fucking dog peed on my couch
>amybee2003: listen we are offering a reward and if you found him we will
>pay
>you
>amybee2003: its not much but we don't have much
>amybee2003: hello?
>amybee2003: sarah
>evilsarahbitch: Uh oh.
>amybee2003: whats the matter
>evilsarahbitch: I think I beat him too hard.
>evilsarahbitch: He's got the blood coming out of his ears just like the
>others.
>amybee2003: sarah I can't take any more of this
>amybee2003: please tell me you are lieing about this or I am going to call
>the police right now
>evilsarahbitch: Ok.
>amybee2003: YOU ARE LIEING
>evilsarahbitch: Yeah. Whatever. Look, I have to go.
>amybee2003: ARE YOU LIEING OR NOT
>evilsarahbitch: Since I don't know what the fuck 'lieing' means, I can't
>really tell you.
>evilsarahbitch: But if it means having to go out back and dig a hole again
>then yes.
>evilsarahbitch: I hate digging holes.
>amybee2003: I WILL KILLLLLL YOU IF YOU HORT MY DOG YO U FICKIN
>BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>evilsarahbitch: Hey hey. Calm down.
>amybee2003: YOU THINK ITS FUNNYTO CALL UP AND MESS WITH ME LIKE THIS
>amybee2003: FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!
>evilsarahbitch: You live near me. Do you think I can borrow some post hole
>diggers?
>amybee2003: FUCK YOU. I AM CALLING TH EPOLICE
>evilsarahbitch: Wait a minute. I think he's still breathing╜
>evilsarahbitch: Hang on
>amybee2003: I AM SERIOUSLY CALLING THE POLICE NOW SARAH.
>amybee2003: You better tell me the truth righ now or else
>evilsarahbitch: Ahh crap. That must have just been his nerves twitching
>amybee2003: IM GONING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO KILL YOU DO YOU
>UNDERSTAND
>evilsarahbitch: Did you know that a dog's hair and fingernails never stop
>growing, even when they're dead?
>amybee2003: DIE
>evilsarahbitch: And did you know that because of the gasses that build up
>in
>their intestines╜
>evilsarahbitch: that they fart?
>evilsarahbitch: Isn't that weird?
>evilsarahbitch: Isn't it?
>evilsarahbitch: Amy?
>evilsarahbitch: Hello?
>evilsarahbitch: So what about those post hole diggers?
>amybee2003:
>
>
>
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"...IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS..."
The artist must create a spark before he can make a fire and before art is born, the artist must be ready to be consumed by the fire of his own creation. Auguste Rodin
"The most difficult thing in the world is to reveal yourself, to express what you have to.... to be willing to risk everything to really express it all." -- JOHN CASSAVETES
"solve et coagula" ... destroy to create ...

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Old 06-22-02   #2
Fallen Angel
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Hmmm and which side are you on here?
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Old 06-22-02   #3
AbstractEvil
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thats dead mean.
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Old 06-22-02   #4
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Old 06-22-02   #5
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*bites her lip*

I can't help but find that funny..
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Old 06-22-02   #6
Duddy
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Quote:
>evilsarahbitch: Chains don't stop dogs. Good training stops dogs
>evilsarahbitch: Know what I'm sayin'?
>amybee2003: You took him from my yard??
>evilsarahbitch: Good training╜ and a LOT of beatings.
>amybee2003: YOU STOLE MY DOG??????????
>evilsarahbitch: But you have to use something hard like a fan belt or a
>piece
>of a garden hose
>amybee2003: LISTEN YOU BETTER RETURN SPARKLES TO M EOR I WILL CALL THE
>POLICE
>NOW!
>evilsarahbitch: It also helps if you starve them for a few days too.
>amybee2003: LISTEN TO ME!
>evilsarahbitch: it makes them more receptive to your instructions╜
>amybee2003: SARAH.
>evilsarahbitch: Also, soak them in a 55 gallon drum full of ice water
>overnight.
>amybee2003: YOU ARE NOT FUNNY SARAH NOW ANSWER ME
>evilsarahbitch: See, the trick is to break his spirit so that he knows
>you're
>the master now.
>evilsarahbitch: I have a system called SFBFB
>amybee2003: Sarah. please answer me. you have no idea how worried I am
>about
>him
>evilsarahbitch: See? Starve, Freeze, Beat, Freeze, and Beat again.
>evilsarahbitch: Get it?
That was the funniest thing I have read all week
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Old 06-22-02   #7
waterRTBH
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*jaw dropped*
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Old 06-22-02   #8
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lmmfao, can you tell me where you got that so i can go fuck with her head myself?
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Old 06-22-02   #9
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what the hell?thats fucking retarded
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Old 06-22-02   #10
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Thats mean! I think when I read that my jaw hit the floor. Where ya get that?
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Old 06-22-02   #11
BeautysDemise
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www.fugly.com

Once in the site click on the "Victims" section on the left hand navigation list.
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Old 06-22-02   #12
Sire
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that was too much to read.
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Old 06-22-02   #13
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OMG...

That site is addicting

*dies laughing*
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Old 06-22-02   #14
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*chuckles*

Sad, but damned funny!
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Old 06-22-02   #15
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Old 06-22-02   #16
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That is hilarious...sick, but hilarious.

If I were that person, I wouldn't have described the damn dog for the person, I'da described a different dog.

"Is it a black terrier?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Too bad. Mine was a beagle."
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Old 06-23-02   #17
skinless_barbie
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bwahahahahahaha

thats something i would do! lol
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Old 06-23-02   #18
Starface
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Quote:
Originally posted by XBeautysDemiseX
www.fugly.com

Once in the site click on the "Victims" section on the left hand navigation list.
Actually the girl in "this" one is "devilsarabitch" NOT evilsarah...the "d" got cut off...
I don't know though...it may of come from there...my boyfriends nephew sent it to me via email...i don't know where he got it. I thought it was funny as hell. Mean but...funny. I mean I would never do that to someone or anything but...heh heh heh.
Thanks for the Fugly site info...I will deffinantly try and take over when I have some free time.
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"...IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS..."
The artist must create a spark before he can make a fire and before art is born, the artist must be ready to be consumed by the fire of his own creation. Auguste Rodin
"The most difficult thing in the world is to reveal yourself, to express what you have to.... to be willing to risk everything to really express it all." -- JOHN CASSAVETES
"solve et coagula" ... destroy to create ...

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Old 06-23-02   #19
Starface
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sire
that was too much to read.
Sorry Master...I will tryyyyy...to do beeeeteeerrrrrr...5 thousand beams of darkness upon my Soul! This sounds like a job for...SOULBURNER! "NAIL ME TO ANOTHER...CROOOOOOSS YEAH!"
(Sing to the tune of speedracer)
Just one lick...and I will be happy...just one lick...and I will be satiiiiiisfiiiiiiieeeeed...don't denyyyyyyyyy me oh holy Siiiiiiiiiiiiire...it aches insiiiiiiide me...oh my pussy's on fiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrre.
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"...IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS..."
The artist must create a spark before he can make a fire and before art is born, the artist must be ready to be consumed by the fire of his own creation. Auguste Rodin
"The most difficult thing in the world is to reveal yourself, to express what you have to.... to be willing to risk everything to really express it all." -- JOHN CASSAVETES
"solve et coagula" ... destroy to create ...

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Old 06-24-02   #20
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I think that is now one of my favorite websites
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