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Old 06-01-02   #1
Felony Queen
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I cant keep this in any more

It is almost four a clock in the morning. I am crying so dang hard! And I NEVER cry. I have this black hole eating at my life. I know some of you may not give a shit. But I realy had to get this out. No one wants to listen here they just keep telling me what I am doing wrong. I do have a few paople who tell me I am strong And that I am a suvivor for all the shit in life I have been put through. But I tell you I dont feel very strong right now. I just want this pain to stop. Do you know besides my mentor I have not had a real hug since I was like twelve? I Know this sounds petty, But no one has ever realy told me that they loved me. I am in states custody so you realy dont get much of those comforts.
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Old 06-01-02   #2
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Hang in their my friend, I am living proof you can make it throu the bad times. I won't bore you with the details but ask anyone who knows me well here and they will tell you I have had more than my fair share of the shitty end of life as a child, but now I am 30 years old and just starting to find my place in this world.

Its been damm hard, I won't deny it! Sometimes to hard!!! But at times like that you are faced with the choice. Do I give in? Or do I try another day?

Take the second my friend because believe me one day it will be the best decision you ever make!!!


There are people out there that do care about you, the are called friends. Some you have already met and others are just waiting for you to find them.

I mean look damm it you found one today!!! ME

I can be a friend you want to be.

Its your choice, don't give in. Take the second option, I did...



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Old 06-01-02   #3
AbstractEvil
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Don't ever give up. Some times you are fed up ,some times you are low but one day ( although it may take a long time ) things will start to get better if you don't give in . Life is for the living and you should live it like there is no tommorow . I was really depressed until a couple of weeks ago because I felt like no1 loved me, no1 could ever care about a mess like me and I was crying almost every night and nobody knew how pained I was or how sad I was. The thing is I thought , jesus christ woman , you cant go on living like this , you have to do something about it before you turn yourself into a wreck. A couple of weeks ago I went to this place me and my friends call the rose and I was like , hell I'm gonna have fun whether I look like a prat or not , and I did and I pulled quite a few times and I was like, well I can do it ! Lol , thats just an example. I think that if you set your mind to it you can conquer anything.It might be crap advice but if you read it , thanks for listening
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Old 06-01-02   #4
Felony Queen
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Quote:
Originally posted by AbstractEvil
. I think that if you set your mind to it you can conquer anything.It might be crap advice but if you read it , thanks for listening
NO thank YOU.
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Old 06-01-02   #5
Felony Queen
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Thanks Jobe. That means a lot.
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Old 06-02-02   #6
AbstractEvil
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no thankyou what ?
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LUCAS:Joe, I think its gonna be ok
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LUCAS:Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.

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Old 06-02-02   #7
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I know how tough things can be sometimes Queen.. And I really do know what you mean when it comes to not getting a hug.. I went without one for four years myself.. Just gotta keep going, that's what I do, and it gets better. Remember, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. And I'm gonna come hug you to death someday, so beware.
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Old 06-03-02   #8
Felony Queen
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moridin
...... And I'm gonna come hug you to death someday, so beware.
* GIGGLES* Thanks Hon
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Old 06-03-02   #9
Felony Queen
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Quote:
Originally posted by AbstractEvil
no thankyou what ?
If you look up you wrote "thanks for listening" And I was just saying I should be thanking you. so thank you.
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Old 06-03-02   #10
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Re: I cant keep this in any more

Quote:
Originally posted by Felony Queen
It is almost four a clock in the morning. I am crying so dang hard! And I NEVER cry. I have this black hole eating at my life. I know some of you may not give a shit. But I realy had to get this out. No one wants to listen here they just keep telling me what I am doing wrong. I do have a few paople who tell me I am strong And that I am a suvivor for all the shit in life I have been put through. But I tell you I dont feel very strong right now. I just want this pain to stop. Do you know besides my mentor I have not had a real hug since I was like twelve? I Know this sounds petty, But no one has ever realy told me that they loved me. I am in states custody so you realy dont get much of those comforts.

I am sorry. I know the feeling. I see movies with happy endings for comfort you know.
*hugs* <-- I don't care if it is not real, I mean it.
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Old 06-03-02   #11
Felony Queen
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Re: Re: I cant keep this in any more

Quote:
Originally posted by Edge
I am sorry. I know the feeling. I see movies with happy endings for comfort you know.
*hugs* <-- I don't care if it is not real, I mean it.
*HUGS Edge back*
aaawww I think I am gonna cry again! Thanks every one!!!
~*Gets a warm fuzzy feeling!*~
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Old 06-03-02   #12
Felony Queen
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Quote:
Where can I find that special someone who will push my button? Where?
Right here.
*Winks*
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Old 06-03-02   #13
*psycotic lover*
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felony why didn't you call me i gave you my number for one reason. TO USE IT! haven't we known eachother since like we were just barely 16 and giggling over how cute some of those seniors at service were? now this and you can't even call your own sister?anyways i'm sorry what's wrong sis? call me day or night.
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Old 06-03-02   #14
AbstractEvil
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Quote:
Originally posted by Felony Queen


If you look up you wrote "thanks for listening" And I was just saying I should be thanking you. so thank you.
no probs babs. Anytime !
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LUCAS:Joe, I think its gonna be ok
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LUCAS:Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.

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Old 06-03-02   #15
Felony Queen
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Quote:
Originally posted by *psycotic lover*
felony why didn't you call me i gave you my number for one reason. TO USE IT! haven't we known eachother since like we were just barely 16 and giggling over how cute some of those seniors at service were? now this and you can't even call your own sister?anyways i'm sorry what's wrong sis? call me day or night.
hey sorry it was late and I just had another blow out with my morman foster mom. oooooooohhhhhh I hate her sooooooo*GASP*oooooooooooo Much! she makes so mad. ugh! well I am going to anchorage on tuesday maybe i will see you.

Those guys were pretty cute! and remeber the jerk alert bench? was that just two years ago? oh how we have changed!
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Old 06-03-02   #16
Jobe
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*looks up at the posts*


See I told you, people DO care, and things WILL get better hun.

Just hang in there, you already took the biggest step, the first one...
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Old 06-03-02   #17
Felony Queen
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jobe X
*looks up at the posts*


See I told you, people DO care, and things WILL get better hun.

Just hang in there, you already took the biggest step, the first one...
yeah people do care But most of these people I will never see. exept my sis. ~*Lover*~ but i have known her for eva. well ya know what? I am glad I met ya peoples!!!
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Old 06-04-02   #18
AbstractEvil
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Just cuz you will never meet someone does not mean that they can not help or do not care. For instance , I have a brother in Wolverhampton somewhere. I don't know him but I'm always thinking about him and wonder why that arse of a dad has never said anything of him. But just because I don't know him doesn't mean I don't care about him, I think of him all the time and would love to meet him.
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LUCAS:Joe, I think its gonna be ok
JOE:What makes you think that?
LUCAS:Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.

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Blind pugh - bar man
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Old 06-04-02   #19
Jobe
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Quote:
Originally posted by Felony Queen


yeah people do care But most of these people I will never see. exept my sis. ~*Lover*~ but i have known her for eva. well ya know what? I am glad I met ya peoples!!!

Two of the best friends I have had the honour of calling friends I have never met. People can help, just cos they are not physically there does not mean they can't be there for you in spirit and heart.

We are all here for you, all you have to do is have the courage to ask


I won't say no to a friend, lifes just to short for that...
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Old 06-05-02   #20
Edge
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Quote:
Originally posted by Felony Queen


Right here.
*Winks*
You will have to try a bit harder to do that...
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I want to live in a world of peace
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I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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