Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions
Home Register FAQ
Go Back   Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions > Welcome > Socialize
Reload this Page Thoughts
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-03-02   #21
Demon's Eclipse
Stranded Soldier
 
Demon's Eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oregon and North Carolina
Posts: 7,003
Demon's Eclipse will become famous soon enough
Credits: 124,991
6/03/02

Well for a very odd surprise, today was a half ass decent day. Woke up to the not so normal phone call, which was nice. Went to school and found out I'm passing all of my classes, therefore I get my graduation trip! WHOOO!!!! Yeah! Then I hung out with my friend for a while, as his car broke down in the middle of a two lane country road, with a blind corner on both sides...heh.....school bus came up behind us, nearly scarying the shit out of me! But that's ok. I went to commanders call, got some marine recruiter on my ass, screamin in my face and all i did was stand there, and after he was finished....I wiped the spit from my face. Heh...now it's a good thing he had minty fresh breath other wise I would have puked on his freshly shined shoes. Then I came home to a special package in the mail! Yay! So overall, I have nothing to complain about. It's been a good day.
__________________
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
There's no need to cover an internal problem with an external fix.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-02   #22
Demon's Eclipse
Stranded Soldier
 
Demon's Eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oregon and North Carolina
Posts: 7,003
Demon's Eclipse will become famous soon enough
Credits: 124,991
Dear Friend,

In life we are pitched a shit load of rocks. You either get up and take another one to the stomach or you get stoned to death by hateful words and pointing fingers. No one has the right to say what is right or what is wrong. No one has the right to tell you that your emotions and words mean nothing. I live not for the fact that I feel the need to, but for the fact, others need me. I would live through a thousand years of hell, just to see the people I love and those who love me, smile. All of life is worth that. I know at times, it seems I get down and hopeless. But without the people who do read me, who do care, listen to me. Even if they can't understand my emotion and what I'm going through. They have always and always will be there for me. I can't give up on myself, for if I do, I give up on them. And in the process, I hurt them more than I could ever bare. That I have no doubt about. If I can't make myself happy, if I can't seem to find the strength to smile, all I have to do, is make someone else smile and that washes all the fear, sadness, and pain away. For me, writing is the only way I know how to release emotion. You can't come up to me in person and ask me what I am feeling. I have to write it down. Even if most of it makes no sense. So why deprive yourself of release of emotion? Write. Who cares what everyone else thinks. Writing is a way to think about yourself, and you know I will always be interested to read what is inside your mind. People don't matter. It's you that matters. I'd love to see a whole page writen by you, just to see what you think about, what goes on inside of you... You could tell me anything in this world, and it will matter more to me than anyone else. The point of living, that question I have yet to find an answer for, but I have a hint.

Life is to learn....to love. To feel every emotion possible. To live. To smell the flowers, to feel the bees sting. With everything that happens in your life, have you noticed you've become stronger? If not, then why are you still here? You've lived through everything thrown in your face, and you're still holding on. There's a reason? There's a reason for everything. Think about what you want in life....what you want to achieve and give it a go. What have you got to lose? Nothing. In life, you can lose material things...but the things you earn deep inside are the things that last forever. You say you don't know what you want nor what you are looking for...get out and try something new. Go out and do something you normally wouldn't do. Life is for living. We all feel pain, we all feel pleasure....but the things you learn in a lifetime is worth all that. You are always welcome to write thoughts in my thread if you chose to not make your own. You're always welcome to talk to me, whenever you need me, just Pm me.

Sincerely,

DE~
__________________
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
There's no need to cover an internal problem with an external fix.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-02   #23
Dark_Rain
Guest
 
Dark_Rain's Avatar
 
Posts: n/a
i have actually sat here and took the time to read everything

wow this journal you sound very sad... you know you could do what ever you want in life... don't let anyone stop you from doing so... all you need is a little effort and help mannage your self to get what you want to...

i don't know why you keep going to the past... maybe you keep on trying find something that you did was wrong... you want to correct it... make it some what well again...

everyone is hurt, sad, and very alone... i know how you feel there... i'm always here when ever you need to talk to me... i don't know how much of a help i'll be... but i'll like to give it a try...

on the whore thing... you are not a whore... cause nice chicks like you aren't whores... you are a good person... you always have to keep thinking about that on your self... never believe in anways on the things that they say about you... like if your a whore or other things like that... there being ass holes... always think of your self as a beautiful person... every day that you wake... start a new day...

me i really don't have many friends in peson... i used to when i was in middle school... let me tell after a while it did get anoying... having people calling you and you just want to sit down and relax... know i don't have that problem... cause when my friends and i got to high school... thats when all of us started to split up... hang out in are own groups... see and meet new people... that is when i started to become a loner... i think it is better to have one friend... then alot in person... cause you have to keep up with everyone... and its just hard sometimes... know i'm just all on my own...

but what ever it is... i hope that you make your self well... you are very strong for living and keep on moving like your doing right know... heh in school... man i was in a panic attack... when my brother picked me up from work... i was feeling like shit and i looked like a zombie... i couldn't take it anymore with school... having to wake up early... get on through the day... and not missing... i was this close into dropping out of school... i had to talk to my sister Clearwitch about it... untill i finially calm down... but i have made it... i graduate last wednesday at 20...

all i have know is work... i work at wal-mart for about 20 days... then i'm done with that place... then i'm all on my own... i don't know what to do after that... maybe become lazy...

congraduations on your grades girl!!!!!! everything that you have been doing... you go and get them...

well my friend i'm very tired... have to get up early tomorrow... so you take care think and remember on things that i have just know said to you...

night *Hugs*

sleeps on floor zzz
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-02   #24
Demon's Eclipse
Stranded Soldier
 
Demon's Eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oregon and North Carolina
Posts: 7,003
Demon's Eclipse will become famous soon enough
Credits: 124,991
Here we go again...ring around the rosie with an insomniac walking the streets. Right now I feel so drained of energy I wonder how i find enough to type. My body feels tired, but my mind feels worse. Maybe I'm just stressing out. But for some reason i can't sleep. Grr sometimes it makes me angry. But I can't do a damn thing about it.

I get so frustrated when people bring up things that I don't want to talk about. Things that hurt, things that open up a doorway to pain inside myself. It feels as if someone is taking part of my emotion and beating the hell out of it then putting it back into place. At times all i want to do is go away to think. But the only place I can go to rid myself of that feeling is to sleep, yet at times my mind won't let me slid into the hollow black void. At times i feel like enough is enough...but then I think...no it isn't...it can always get worse. But it seems like this feeling just eats me alive and doesn't let me free.

Sometimes I wonder why I enlisted into the USAF. I know I did it to learn disipline, to get a bit more athletic and gain a bit more muscle, to get college money so I wouldn't have to depend on someone for it, to get a good job in the military to put towards a high paying civilian job. I want to be perfect I guess. I want to look really good at the same time as having a good job and being able to provide for myself and maybe a family one day. I don't want to do on a downhill slide and slack off any more. I want a family, something that I can see that makes me proud i guess. I don't have that right now. I am not proud of myself, but maybe if I get out and earn something, earn the right to wear a uniform that represents something, then maybe I will be happy with myself. I want to provide for myself and a family, everything else doesn't matter to me. I just....*sigh* I'm not happy with myself and I want to become something I can be proud of. I don't have much self esteem nor confidence...so I guess living through Air Force is my way of proving to myself that I can do it. That I can push my way through every thing and manage after to live happy. I get sick of hearing people that say they love me, "Why not go to a local college, stay near home." I want to earn something that is harder than within reach.

I feel so bleh right now. I don't know what to say nor what to feel....I'm just bleh.
__________________
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
There's no need to cover an internal problem with an external fix.

Last edited by Demon's Eclipse; 06-06-02 at 03:39.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-02   #25
Dark_Rain
Guest
 
Dark_Rain's Avatar
 
Posts: n/a
well at least you know what you out of life... you don't want to be any were stuck like i am... your a very bright person... that you would be able to suceede in what you want out of life... if you really want something bad enough in life... go out and there and do it... don't let anybody or anything stop you from getting what you want...

i'll be missing you alot when you go the air force and everything... you would be hanging out less and less on the computer

didn't mean to bring up thoughs other feeling... just when i read your journal the hole intire thing... that one night when i was tired... i felt like i had to say something... i won't do that again...

shit here the both us... we don't know what bothers us at some time... i don't even know if one day you and i would be able to find are answer to are problems... but at least you and i write them down... but i don't think that really helps out much...

*takes a deep breath* kind of stress right there... heh last night i was just so tired... my hole intire body was acking from head to toe... i just slept in my clothes and didn't brush my teeth... but took my sleeping pills... i didn't care... all i just wanted to do was go to bed... *says that in slow motion*

but i brush my teeth this morning... but i hope you will do well in the future... make your dream come true... i don't know what you have learned from me... i don't think that i teach any body anything... maybe i do... i just don't know that i do

i try to help as manny people as i can... heck i'm not sure if i help my self... <--- is very confused

hehehe take care demon
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-02   #26
Demon's Eclipse
Stranded Soldier
 
Demon's Eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oregon and North Carolina
Posts: 7,003
Demon's Eclipse will become famous soon enough
Credits: 124,991
Today has been very interesting I suppose you could say. Now I feel so tired yet I am to stubborn to sleep therefore.... I sit here and kinda stare at the screen blankly. Tomorrow I finally get my diplomia...oh god. Part of me is so excited yet another part of me, is sad. I don't think I am ready to just go all out and jump in head first into life. And knowing I have to do it all on my own...now that's the real scary part. Maybe I doubt myself....maybe I think I will not last...but if I don't then where do I stand? A failure yet again.

I hope some day soon, my mom gets a paycheck, I think it'd be kinda like a mommy-daughter day to go out and go shopping. Yes I hate depending on her for stuff, but right now, I am jobless and broke like a bum. But still I'm in a weird mood to actually want to spend some quality time with her...this is nuts! ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BONKERS I SAY! Heh. Oh well, I'm an idiot...we all know this.
__________________
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
There's no need to cover an internal problem with an external fix.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-08-02   #27
Demon's Eclipse
Stranded Soldier
 
Demon's Eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oregon and North Carolina
Posts: 7,003
Demon's Eclipse will become famous soon enough
Credits: 124,991
Sometimes I wonder why I am still living. Why am I here to suffer life like this... things just seem to be so out of place and warped and I seem to be living in slow motion...everything happens so slowly, I just get lost in thought. Am I awake? Am I asleep? Am I dreaming? Or am I dead?
__________________
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
There's no need to cover an internal problem with an external fix.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-08-02   #28
Dark_Rain
Guest
 
Dark_Rain's Avatar
 
Posts: n/a
no my friend you are not dead... if you were dead then you would not be typing this stuff out on the computer... on thoughs questions i don't know how to answer them... it is hard sometimes... but i'm sure you would be able to see it one day in life... just like i did... i hope that everything works out just fine... you know i'm here...
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-02   #29
Demon's Eclipse
Stranded Soldier
 
Demon's Eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oregon and North Carolina
Posts: 7,003
Demon's Eclipse will become famous soon enough
Credits: 124,991
To my friends...I give my final goodbye.


In life we reach the point where death takes us home...I may at some point leave this world...but home is where the heart is...

To shy: Thank you dear for always being true to me. I may not die today nor tomorrow, but it's best if I leave now...or it will be harder. You one day will have a bright life, filled with no pain, just remember not to drink it all away. Even though it deadens the pain...it's not the best way.

To sicness: I'll forever remember you. No matter what happens, you're always in my heart, as I am for you. Keep your head up and above water, I know life tries to drown you in sorrow...just know I'll always love my sniffles.

To Tainted Soul: My dearest close friend... we've shared many pillow fights and hugs, I'll never forget the moments of laughter we shared. The good ole' times.

To Tainted Jesus: You're a good guy, hang in there with your gf, someday things will be heaven...if it exsists.

To Jobe: Forever in the heart, there will remain a piece of me. Keep strong and live on my friend, one day you'll meet the mistress of your dreams.

To Jarrek: Yet to give up? I hope not. Life causes all of us pain, but without pain and harship there is nothing gained.

To Duddy: Hey there buddy! Keep things cool over there, and remember! I'm your knight in shining vynil.

To Static: I'll always remember the many fights and arguement, but I'll always remember the good times.

To icy: Girlie, you're great. Even though we don't talk much, I'll miss you too.

To those I have missed: Thank you for making darkforum my home for so long.



Forever in the heart, I am always with you.
__________________
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
There's no need to cover an internal problem with an external fix.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-02   #30
Tainted Jesus
Sic 'N Twisted
 
Tainted Jesus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 4,711
Tainted Jesus is on a distinguished road
Credits: 106,394
Yes, as I myself start my last leg to the edge of the cliff, I stare down into life and also wonder what is there to catch me when I plunge in. Nothing is ever certain, and things constantly change. Fear runs rampent in the deer who goes to feed for her first time, just like a person living for herself for the first time.

Just remember...

There are always people who are back here, still watching you feed. We have your back. We'll always be here. If you need some reassurance, just look back to where you came from, what you've overcame, and what you have gained, and we'll let you know we are all still here.

Enjoy the start of your wonderful life.

~*Tainted Jesus*~
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-02   #31
Dark_Rain
Guest
 
Dark_Rain's Avatar
 
Posts: n/a
[quote]Originally posted by Demon's Eclipse
[b][i] To my friends...I give my final goodbye.


In life we reach the point where death takes us home...I may at some point leave this world...but home is where the heart is...

To shy: Thank you dear for always being true to me. I may not die today nor tomorrow, but it's best if I leave now...or it will be harder. You one day will have a bright life, filled with no pain, just remember not to drink it all away. Even though it deadens the pain...it's not the best way.

awww well i really loved for you being here... this really sucks... were going to have a great person leave us... i will be sad for a while... its going to take me sometime though... but how come your leaving? but i don't want you to fully dissapear... where ever you go and where ever there maybe a computer... i'll leave you address send me really cool emails chick...

lazy_shygirl_1980@yahoo.com

man i should of stayed on longer last night... people in chat told me that you were looking for me... plus there is also aim... you don't have to thank me for being true to you.... good friends always come along

thanks for always cuddling with me... i love you demon take care
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-02   #32
Tainted Soul
Darkness Incarnate
 
Tainted Soul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,542
Tainted Soul will become famous soon enough
Credits: 76,272
Don't let the door hit you on the way out...

Ok, that was my joke for the day. Now for the serious shit that I hate...

To me, the worst pain I'd have to endure would be having to say goodbye to friends and family. Everyone moves on in life, but it doesn't mean that you have to say goodbye. To me...goodbye is final. What you say to someone you never intend to speak to again. Therefor I won't ever say goodbye to my friends or family.

Just remember that I will always be here for you. No matter what happens, you always have friends who love you dearly.

~Blue
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-02   #33
johnny_crucifix
Heerreee's Johnny!
 
johnny_crucifix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Hail to the God of What's Unknown! *Yes, I live there too.*
Posts: 609
johnny_crucifix
Credits: 31,771
you? dead? nah....hey, look at me, im just a year away from leaving school and going out into the world....i mean...hell, at least you are halfway there in the head..... jk...i really know you arn't there at all

anyhow, i have missed talking to ya....i hardly get on MSN anymore...and when i do i see you for a second but then you are gone like a fading memory of a fading dream that i try so deperatly to grasp on to in vain.

hehee....okay...that just sounded either WAY TOO poetic...or WAY TOO cheesy...hell...probably both.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-02   #34
Demon's Eclipse
Stranded Soldier
 
Demon's Eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oregon and North Carolina
Posts: 7,003
Demon's Eclipse will become famous soon enough
Credits: 124,991
Why is it in life you find something really great that you want to hold onto, and everything seems to be going smoothly, then suddenly it gets bumpy and turns all to shit? Why does life have to be so hard? Life is shit......
__________________
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
There's no need to cover an internal problem with an external fix.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-02   #35
Demon's Eclipse
Stranded Soldier
 
Demon's Eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oregon and North Carolina
Posts: 7,003
Demon's Eclipse will become famous soon enough
Credits: 124,991
In life I feel as if people don't give a shit about me. They say they will always be there and say they are my friends forever...but why does it seem as if everyone leaves me out? I leave in 23 days, I want to come back for friends but I don't want to come back because will they really remember me when I leave? I suppose no one will remember me here.... though some say they will. The likeliness of someone caring that much is highly not expected. I still feel sick from the night before last....I think something may be wrong with me, but I can't say that. I may have to go to the doctor sometime though.


*sigh* life's a bitch...then you marry one...then you die.
__________________
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
There's no need to cover an internal problem with an external fix.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-02   #36
Tainted Soul
Darkness Incarnate
 
Tainted Soul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,542
Tainted Soul will become famous soon enough
Credits: 76,272
Dalynda, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of Sarah. There's no way in hell that I'll forget you. And I promise on my life that I will remember you.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-02   #37
Demon's Eclipse
Stranded Soldier
 
Demon's Eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oregon and North Carolina
Posts: 7,003
Demon's Eclipse will become famous soon enough
Credits: 124,991
will you come down when I graduate from Basic? Or will you be in school?


I'm gonna miss you.
__________________
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
There's no need to cover an internal problem with an external fix.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-02   #38
Tainted Soul
Darkness Incarnate
 
Tainted Soul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,542
Tainted Soul will become famous soon enough
Credits: 76,272
When do you graduate?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-02   #39
Demon's Eclipse
Stranded Soldier
 
Demon's Eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oregon and North Carolina
Posts: 7,003
Demon's Eclipse will become famous soon enough
Credits: 124,991
middle of september. I leave the 30th of this month and I have training for 6 weeks. So whenever that is. If you can make it I'll have my mom give you details and whatnot. But...it's in texas.


__________________
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
There's no need to cover an internal problem with an external fix.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-02   #40
Tainted Soul
Darkness Incarnate
 
Tainted Soul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,542
Tainted Soul will become famous soon enough
Credits: 76,272
I start at CCC Sep. 30th. So I'd have to be back by the 29th. But, I'll try and make it.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Recent Threads
sup oezoem we mished you
21 Hours Ago 22:02
Last post by Sic Simon
19 Hours Ago 00:19
Hey fr0g
10-20-17 02:49
Last post by Sic Simon
22 Hours Ago 21:47
Fuck Snow
3 Days Ago 03:36
Last post by Sic Simon
22 Hours Ago 21:46
Science Disproves...
11-01-10 15:38
by Pahu
Last post by Pahu
1 Day Ago 10:04
What Are you Listening...
03-21-05 07:40
By Cucking Funt
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Day Ago 21:32
are you gonna eat your...
11-01-17 01:43
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 03:45
Things that I'm not...
10-30-05 21:09
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 00:51
basic earthling rights
07-17-14 22:08
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 22:11
Where are the tits?
3 Weeks Ago 20:38
Last post by Sic Simon
3 Weeks Ago 21:33
Obama sends a letter.
10-19-17 22:42
Last post by Sic Simon
3 Weeks Ago 14:09
Online Users: 59
1 members and 58 guests
dressevening
Most users ever online was 1928, 06-09-15 at 19:20.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0 RC2


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com

© 2006 - 2016 Dark Forum | About Dark Forum | Advertisers | Investors | Legal | A member of the Crowdgather Forum Community