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Old 05-09-02   #1
HeinousSoul
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Too emotional?

For the past 3 relationships i've been really paranoid ...i cant blame myself because my past relationships were horrible, all my paranoia was true...But i have a b/f right now and i love him a lot, i've known him for 2 years and we are really close. But the thing is, is that no matter how sweet he is and how good of a boyfriend he is to me, i am always paranoid that he is loosing interest, cheating on me or something...not neccessarily cheating tho...most of my fear is the lossing interest part. I've told him as much because he can tell when i am upset..he usually gives me a hug to reassure me when he see that. I know im crazy but i have NO idea how to stop this paranoia...i dont want it to ruin our relationship..he says things like "why are you paranoid, you have no reason to be" or something like "i'm not like the other guys you have dated"...i know he is true..this i know..but i cant stop the paranoia creeping up and biting my heart...*sighs*i've been this way for a long time now and i want to stop for him, do you guys have any idea on how i can control this? I have finnally found the right guy and i dont want to loose him because of the assholes i've dated before...
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"You understand many things but have realized practically nothing"

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Old 05-10-02   #2
RedMeat
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This is just my opinion but I think the deal is that from the past relationships you have the structure for your emotional security.Try writing all of the things you know he is and all the positive points you have together but word it positivly too not "hes not like the others" or "he wont betray me" as they are just counter negitives.Try "he`s unique" and "he`s faithful to me".
Paranoia is a thought that turns into a negitive feeling, you can cut out the negitive feelings by bluntly refusing to accept the thought as a possablity and only accepting a more positive and realistic view instead of pessimism.
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Old 05-10-02   #3
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Yes, RedMeat has a good strategy there. I've had some trust problems because of a fucking bitch that cheated on me, but I just finally got over it over the past week with my current girlfriend...I just thought "I know things are great with us. She really cares. I trust her." And its paid off...
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Old 05-11-02   #4
HeinousSoul
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Thanks a lot you two for what you said, it made me feel better. Red- your last statements helped a lot..im going to try to stop the paranoia thoughts simply by feeling they couldnt happen...most of the time its my mind that thinks of the horrible and i make myself upset.

Thefinalword-i'll keep in mind the thought you have in your last statement..thanks
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“The night has a thousand eyes, and the day but one….Yet the light of the bright world dies…with the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart but one…Yet the light of a whole life dies…when love is done…- Francis W. Bourdillon

"The madness of demons is Rage. The madness of angels is Hope."

"We are Grey. We stand between the Candle and the Star"

“Some people are born to be the tears of the world” -me

"Fell from Heaven and her wings shattered like glass. But she's an angel, so of course she got up and walked away. But they still had to scrape her soul off the side walk..."

"Understanding is the one-dimensional comprehension of the intellect. It leads to knowledge. Realization is three-dimensional-a simultaneous comprehension of head, heart, and instinct. It comes only from direct experience"

"You understand many things but have realized practically nothing"

"Why did you throw the Jack of Hearts away, when that was the only card left I had to play?"


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Old 05-11-02   #5
Tainted Soul
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I had the same problem. My g/f and I broke up a week ago today. It started a few days ago when she said I was too emotional and I should talk to one of her friends because she never finds emotional guys, and my g/f always finds too many. (ouch) But, I was paranoid and scared that she was going to find someone better, and I guess that it just got to her that I was so insecure about our relationship. So yeah.
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Old 05-12-02   #6
HeinousSoul
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I am sorry, paranoia and trust issues always ruin a relationship, i am sorry that you didnt have the chance to save yours. I hope that things improve.. please take care......
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“The night has a thousand eyes, and the day but one….Yet the light of the bright world dies…with the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart but one…Yet the light of a whole life dies…when love is done…- Francis W. Bourdillon

"The madness of demons is Rage. The madness of angels is Hope."

"We are Grey. We stand between the Candle and the Star"

“Some people are born to be the tears of the world” -me

"Fell from Heaven and her wings shattered like glass. But she's an angel, so of course she got up and walked away. But they still had to scrape her soul off the side walk..."

"Understanding is the one-dimensional comprehension of the intellect. It leads to knowledge. Realization is three-dimensional-a simultaneous comprehension of head, heart, and instinct. It comes only from direct experience"

"You understand many things but have realized practically nothing"

"Why did you throw the Jack of Hearts away, when that was the only card left I had to play?"


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Old 05-19-02   #7
HeinousSoul
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It's not working....
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“The night has a thousand eyes, and the day but one….Yet the light of the bright world dies…with the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart but one…Yet the light of a whole life dies…when love is done…- Francis W. Bourdillon

"The madness of demons is Rage. The madness of angels is Hope."

"We are Grey. We stand between the Candle and the Star"

“Some people are born to be the tears of the world” -me

"Fell from Heaven and her wings shattered like glass. But she's an angel, so of course she got up and walked away. But they still had to scrape her soul off the side walk..."

"Understanding is the one-dimensional comprehension of the intellect. It leads to knowledge. Realization is three-dimensional-a simultaneous comprehension of head, heart, and instinct. It comes only from direct experience"

"You understand many things but have realized practically nothing"

"Why did you throw the Jack of Hearts away, when that was the only card left I had to play?"


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Old 05-20-02   #8
RedMeat
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Thats because its not a quick fix thing, its long term.Its almost like an addiction, you`ve had it for so long you dont know how to stop and barely notice when its reduced slightly and if something bad happens you go back to the old ways.Its hard but you can do it when you have support already.
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Old 05-20-02   #9
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Mix camamile, rosehip and nettle flower, make some sort of tea with it and drain the water into a cup. It does work. Alternatively... Smoke weed. *Realises she yet again is delving to much into her herb knowledge*
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Old 05-20-02   #10
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Heinous, I wish I had better advice for you, but as many here know right now, I am about the most messed up emotionally anyone can be. My wife left me, not for someone better, as she openly admits, but just for someone else. All I can tell you is, go with your initial reaction. It is usually correct. Trust in your instincts. If you feel this is for real, go with it. There is always a small level of fear, as is the case with life, in general. Paranoia isn't an affliction, it is a suvival mechanism. Be open, honest, and free. But, always, be prepared. Aw, never mind. I am just a bitter, fatalistic realist, and that is truly sad. Enjoy your happiness. Be in control of your happiness. Make it yours. You deserve it. Make others earn it. Stay sweet, and kick ass. And if you ever need advice from someone who has been there, PM me. Good luck, and all happiness.
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Old 05-20-02   #11
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Yeah, like Red said, its not quick. You gotta get used to it. You'll get over it, but it'll take some time. Maybe that's not what you want to hear, but its true.
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Old 05-20-02   #12
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Another approach, but it's a long term fix rather than a quicky

Look at it this way, If he's going to leave you then he will, there's nothing you can do about it so don't worry about it.
Or just take it for granted that someday he will leave you (everybody does eventually, one way or another).
Don't spoil what you have now by worrying about it, don't let the future spoil the present.
Live for the moment
Enjoy what you have now before it's gone.

If you have that attitude he won't leave you

Trust me, I've been on his side too many times to count, it's far easier to leave someone who doesn't trust you than someone who does.

If in doubt, talk to him about it
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Old 05-20-02   #13
HeinousSoul
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Thanks a lot, i know its not a quick fix because i've been this way my whole life to prepare myself for dissapointment. I am just gonna have to be patient...i talk to my friends about it and they call me crazy because they see how much he loves me and everything..he talks about our future for god sakes...Its not that im constantly paranoid, just when a situation will pop up, like a girl showing interest in him for example, i'll get afraid that he'll want her over me or something like that..then it always turns out that he cant stand the girl or doesnt care to know her, wraps his arms around me and says that he is glad he found me because every one else annoys him. *sighs* I'm relying a lil on my friends support at the moment, because they are a different veiw and all they see is him loving me...grr...cant stand my emotions, they are so fucked up..more to my emotions than this. But i am going to try to live the present as is and cherish what i have..the most screwed up thing is that even tho im scared..i cant see him leaving me for the fact of who he is and how he is..


Count Crapula~I am so sorry to hear about your misery, i wish love wasnt so harsh to our hearts..as i you i dont know what advice to give..but i give as you did; open arms to advice or conversation if you need it. thank you...
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“The night has a thousand eyes, and the day but one….Yet the light of the bright world dies…with the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart but one…Yet the light of a whole life dies…when love is done…- Francis W. Bourdillon

"The madness of demons is Rage. The madness of angels is Hope."

"We are Grey. We stand between the Candle and the Star"

“Some people are born to be the tears of the world” -me

"Fell from Heaven and her wings shattered like glass. But she's an angel, so of course she got up and walked away. But they still had to scrape her soul off the side walk..."

"Understanding is the one-dimensional comprehension of the intellect. It leads to knowledge. Realization is three-dimensional-a simultaneous comprehension of head, heart, and instinct. It comes only from direct experience"

"You understand many things but have realized practically nothing"

"Why did you throw the Jack of Hearts away, when that was the only card left I had to play?"


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Old 05-22-02   #14
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Emotional????!!!!! Hormones rule my life!!! So shit! yes, i get paranoid too. Especially around "my moons". Not very nice. Hard to control. No drugs fo PSM work.....sigh. Sorry, I've kinda gone off the subject, I guess.
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Old 05-22-02   #15
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PMS....keyboards will be the death of me! Agh!!

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Old 05-22-02   #16
HeinousSoul
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*laughs kindly* I am sorry..i dont get paranoid because of PMS, PMS actually makes it worse. Everything is hard to control these days
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“The night has a thousand eyes, and the day but one….Yet the light of the bright world dies…with the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart but one…Yet the light of a whole life dies…when love is done…- Francis W. Bourdillon

"The madness of demons is Rage. The madness of angels is Hope."

"We are Grey. We stand between the Candle and the Star"

“Some people are born to be the tears of the world” -me

"Fell from Heaven and her wings shattered like glass. But she's an angel, so of course she got up and walked away. But they still had to scrape her soul off the side walk..."

"Understanding is the one-dimensional comprehension of the intellect. It leads to knowledge. Realization is three-dimensional-a simultaneous comprehension of head, heart, and instinct. It comes only from direct experience"

"You understand many things but have realized practically nothing"

"Why did you throw the Jack of Hearts away, when that was the only card left I had to play?"


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Old 05-22-02   #17
thefinalw0rd
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Well, I'm glad you're going to try. Being a guy, this PMS thing is my cue to leave this thread...my one friend described her period in excruciating detail to us and it was very not cool.
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Old 05-23-02   #18
HeinousSoul
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Yeah i am trying, but he seems sad lately...he is tired of being in our school and every one bothers him..i dont know what to do to help ease it except just be there...maybe thats all i need to do....

LOL..dont worry..the period convo has passed. Hey, you think its so sick and everything, how do you think us females feel? we think it is gross as well and it hurts..we have to deal with it for most of our lives...feeling gross...gr...wish guys understood...
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“The night has a thousand eyes, and the day but one….Yet the light of the bright world dies…with the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart but one…Yet the light of a whole life dies…when love is done…- Francis W. Bourdillon

"The madness of demons is Rage. The madness of angels is Hope."

"We are Grey. We stand between the Candle and the Star"

“Some people are born to be the tears of the world” -me

"Fell from Heaven and her wings shattered like glass. But she's an angel, so of course she got up and walked away. But they still had to scrape her soul off the side walk..."

"Understanding is the one-dimensional comprehension of the intellect. It leads to knowledge. Realization is three-dimensional-a simultaneous comprehension of head, heart, and instinct. It comes only from direct experience"

"You understand many things but have realized practically nothing"

"Why did you throw the Jack of Hearts away, when that was the only card left I had to play?"


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Old 05-25-02   #19
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*Blushes* PMS makes everything worse. I take everything out of proportion. So grim. Then peeps yap at you for being in a bad mood and that doesn't help it. I swear...it's getting worse and worse for me. I feel I need to be locked up like a dog in heat for about two weeks!

I love teasing boys about how gross periods are. Teehee. The look on their faces...bless.

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Old 05-25-02   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by thefinalw0rd
Well, I'm glad you're going to try. Being a guy, this PMS thing is my cue to leave this thread...my one friend described her period in excruciating detail to us and it was very not cool.
Haha! Bless!

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