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Reload this Page making my own life into shit
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Old 04-22-02   #1
little-mac
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making my own life into shit

ok..well...where do i start....

ahh,ok...i used to have a best friend online
i came on one day...and for no reason...just started to talk about how she is just data and text to me
that she might as well be a voice in my head....i said i was sorry later...we still talk...but not really..the thing is i always do shit like that... i can never be happy with what i have...i always have to fuck up friendships and shit like that...and ive come close to breaking up with my g/f a few times too....just out of no where,off the top of my head...the thing is i always imagen the worst...even now i think shes cheating on me...i always imagen her cheating on me with other guys... no matter what i try,i always do shit like this...i think theres something mentally wrong with me or something...someone help if you can...i can handle not having any friends any more...i just dont want to lose dalynda

Last edited by little-mac; 04-22-02 at 23:41.
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Old 04-23-02   #2
Chaos Creator
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Sounds like we're in the same boat, my friend...
I, too, tend to do shit like that. It stems from a borderline anxiety disorder, namely paranoia. Note that I didn't say paranoid schizophrenia. No where near the same thing.
In my case, it's more of a dysthymic disorder with paranoid tendancies... but whatever.
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Last edited by Chaos Creator; 04-23-02 at 02:20.
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Old 04-23-02   #3
little-mac
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well tonight i found out im not paraniod,see really is seeing other guys...well that taikes a load off my mind...but now i need friends more than ever =/
fuck,oh well..*waddles over to the friends part of the forum
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Old 04-23-02   #4
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......enough said
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Old 04-23-02   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by little-mac
well tonight i found out im not paraniod,see really is seeing other guys...well that taikes a load off my mind...but now i need friends more than ever =/
fuck,oh well..*waddles over to the friends part of the forum
Keep your eye on those friends, too.
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Old 04-23-02   #6
little-mac
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i will
thats all i have now
cant affored to lose them
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Old 04-23-02   #7
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Not to be RUDE or anything, but it really seems like you're posting shit like this all over DF just so she'll see it. I seriously hope that's not what you're doing.
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Old 04-23-02   #8
little-mac
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no,all i did was make this one cuz ive the things i do to friends and family to lose them and stuff,i posted ont he friends part to try to make new friends,and i posted on her drowning in the drink one to show that im there for her
thats all ive done...isnt my fault that shes all i can think about right now....im running on like 2 hours of sleep here,so exiuse me if it looks like that
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Old 05-01-02   #9
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Seems like yer lackin a bit of self esteem, and self worth... haha cause I'm like that too...if she really loves you she won't do anything...
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Old 05-06-02   #10
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Looks like i am also in that same boat. I am paranoid, BIGTIME. I cant have any real good friends, or socialize in the real world, becuz I despise human nature,and even that what i just said is hypecritical. I also tend to think that my gf might be cheating on me,when i know that she would never ever do anything like that.Its hard, but if needed, can be overcome.
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Old 05-21-02   #11
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I know how ya feel dude...

For me, at least, it stems from depression and low-self esteem, that and a complete distrust in my fellow humans. When you get close to someone, friendship, or significant other, you open yourself to them. You let your guard down, you leave yourself open to be hurt. That's scary, it's fucking scary as hell. And when you've had enough people hurt you, you don't want to open up anymore, and when you do open up, all you can think about is being hurt again. After a while it gets to the point where you just want to get it over with, and maybe even hurt them before they hurt you. Just to get your guard back up around them, just so you won't be vulnerable anymore..

At least, that's how it is for me...
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Old 05-22-02   #12
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awwwwww macky!!! *hugs mac*

you probably dont remember me, since im no one really.

but im always here.
and i know how you feel, i have alot of trouble keeping friends, because i always feel as if im on the outside and they are against me or something.

but if you ever need someone to talk to dear im usually here...
or should be.
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my latest obsession
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Old 05-24-02   #13
little-mac
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coures i remember you!!! your that person that used to go to that muilticity chat thingie here before they made it into a IRC chat >_<
:-p...
i find myself starting to feel better & worse.....
im find and all during the day,well better anyway...
but as soon as i try to go to bed it all comes out...and i speand hours and hours trying to go to sleep,thinking of what i keep inside during the day...i normally speand atleast 2 hours trying to get to sleep....ahh how i want some sleeping pills >_< and worst of all i feel like killing myself when im starting to fall asleep...is that a sign of me going insane??? >_<
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