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Old 04-22-02   #1
>FuckDoll<
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>FuckDoll< - MeMeMe

hey I'm game... (though I woldn't suggest too many views... I don't think it will be very interesting...)

4/21/02 -
5:30 am took mother to airport... hell yeah.... I don't get along well with my mother... she drives me batty... Always good to be saying goodbye... I think I have too much respect for her.


>FuckDoll<
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Old 04-22-02   #2
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Re: >FuckDoll< - MeMeMe

Quote:
Originally posted by >FuckDoll<
hey I'm game... (though I woldn't suggest too many views... I don't think it will be very interesting...)

4/21/02 -
5:30 am took mother to airport... hell yeah.... I don't get along well with my mother... she drives me batty... Always good to be saying goodbye... I think I have too much respect for her.


>FuckDoll<
hehehe well thats what mothers are for:p
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Old 04-22-02   #3
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Re: Re: >FuckDoll< - MeMeMe

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Originally posted by shy girl


hehehe well thats what mothers are for:p
no way doll... I am a mom...(of course my son is only 2) and I am no way like her... she's batty... she's mean... and she's a bitch... I seriously wish I did not respect her.... SERIOUSLY...

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Old 04-22-02   #4
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well then don't repeat her... just be your true self...
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Old 04-22-02   #5
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i'd love to, but it's my mom, and I can't disrespect my own honour... wether I like it or not, she gave birth to me.... I am my fav. person in the world... That deserves the utmost of respect in my book...

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Old 04-22-02   #6
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Old 04-22-02   #7
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4.21.02 >4:01pm<

changed the avy... thought it was about time for a new one... hmm.. don't know if I like it... maybe... we'll see how long it stays... too hot today... rawr... upper 80's

almost 4:20....
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Old 04-24-02   #8
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ugh... I am in such a foul mood....
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Old 04-25-02   #9
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oh my hell... it's 17pm 4/24, and I just remembered today is my bestfriends fucking bday... damn I can be a loser sometimes... damnit...damn...damn....damn...

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Old 04-26-02   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by >FuckDoll<
oh my hell... it's 17pm 4/24, and I just remembered today is my bestfriends fucking bday... damn I can be a loser sometimes... damnit...damn...damn....damn...

>FuckDoll<
I am Such a moron... it was the 25th... I missed his bday completely...

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Old 04-29-02   #11
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what a freakin' weekend...

Friday... went up to LA... had some business to attend to... traffic was not fun... My mother was with me... ugh... she told I was driving like I was in NY, not LA... heh... what can I say? went to the Hard Rock... sat sown at the tablr... suddenly the place was surrounded by 4 fire trucks, 2 hook & ladders, and a commander truck... eek? I think it was a false alarm, but a bit disheartening...

Sat........ did not do too much... spent 5 hours tied up... heheeeee... that was a nice time...

Sun........ did 21 loads of laundry.... my hell, that's too much... traffic was a bitch everywhere I went.... (live about 15 minutes away from Fontana... it was NASAR race weekend... yay Jimmy Johnson...)

I think that would about cover it...
with a few gory details left out...
heh


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Old 04-30-02   #12
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mmm... new faces... luv it...

wrote this earlier:

Kneeling beside my bed
In the dark of the night
When I begin to say my prayers...
You come to me...
-Now I lay me down to sleep
(your hands caress my smooth skin)
-I pray the 'lord' my soul to keep
(smack my ass I beg of you)
-If I should die before I wake
(Teach me to be good to you)
-I pray the 'lord' my soul to keep
(My hair pulled back, pushing on to you)

Again you say...
You've been bad, you better pray more
-Now I lay me down to sleep
(My ass burning from the pain)
-I pray the 'lord' my soul to keep
(I scream out as you take me)
-If I should die before I wake
(Fuck me harder, fuck my ass)
-I pray the 'lord' my soul to take
(mold me and make me yours)
break me into two
Grab me and rip me
Hurt me, make me scream
I submit to you
Your whim is my desire
Your desire my goal...



a fantasy...a dream... I am noticing this overwhelming desire I have to please peolpe... hmm... I guess maybe that's just my nature...

>FuckDoll<
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Old 05-03-02   #13
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i'm so pathetic... i sometimes wonder... who the fuck do i think i am. To assume, or expect, or even wish for people to like me... It's amusing at best. I am nothing special. Insignificant even. And though word like this i would normally scoff at... Look at me saying them now... I guess I can add hypocrite to my list of pathetic attributes...


-jo
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Old 05-03-02   #14
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forgive me-- I'm falling....

I Cry


I'm sorry for the way I am today.
A heart on the verge of tears.
So overwhelming-
Sadness is enveloping me.
Alone.
In a world full of people-
Alone.
That's the way it is for me
Tossed to the side
"She's strong, she'll be fine."
But hurting inside.
forgotten, ignored.
Bothersome to those who would spare me a moment.
I try
I try to keep my head up.
But alone I get tired.
And weak.
My weary bloodshot eyes are tired from the tears.
My chest aches from the pain.
I'm scared
I see glimpses of my old face
The shaking
The rocking
The flashbacks
I don't want to go there again
Please don't let me go there again
My eyes welling up at this request
My fright....
I am so scared of that
That place I once was
It seems like I am wanted there.
The hands are pulling me back to my darkest hour
It's getting hard to fight
It's getting harder to walk on
Alone.
In a world full of people, I'm alone.
The slightest nicety peaks my interest
The slightest kind word catches my ear
It means so much
truly,
honestly,
it means so much.
But the words don't come.
And the niceties wear away once the skin is shed
What's wrong with me?
That people always forsake me...
I wish I knew.
I wish I knew.
Crying now, my eyes they burn
The tears like acid down my face
Always alone.
I am not who people think I am.
I'm alone.
Can't there be somebody out there who feels that desire?
Who longs for ME.
Who wants ME.
I only get the insults.
"Worthless!" I've been called.
"Stuid, dumb, and a bitch."
With magnetic intensity I can usually repel them.
Some are now getting through.
The shaking,
The rocking,
The flashbacks renew.
Please don't let me go there again.
For words I have never said I am hated.
For thoughts I have never thought I am cast aside.
With outstretched arms I wait.
Waiting for what, I don't know.
Maybe just a kind word,
Maybe even a smile.
I'm getting old waiting.
Please don't let me go there again.

-jo
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Old 05-06-02   #15
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last night he hit me.... sucker punched me in the back on my shoulder blade... it hurts a lot....
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Old 05-06-02   #16
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ugh... just realizing it is may 6.... exatly one month before my birthday... 27... ugh.
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Old 05-13-02   #17
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weekend

Fri. was way too close to traumatic

Sat. pretty much sucked

Sun. was like this rollercoaster, and everybody's emotions were up & down & up % down, even a couple corkscrew's heh...

but on a much better note, I pull up to this liquor store last night, and see this scrumptialy dumptialy specimen of a man.... I park with my passenger side closest to his driver side.... I turn off my car and he leans in and asks what I am listening to... I looked at him oddly, and said 'The Misfists' It was kinda like 'you mean you don't know>' Anyway, he said somthing about he thought so, got in his jeep, backed out and then pulled up to the other side of my car... was telling me about his band, and I should go to a show, and blah blah blah... always nice to be hit on by a hottie patottie...

yum

>FuckDoll<

...FYI

scrumptialy dumptialy = yummy

hottie patottie = yummy (kinda like a hot potato, but not.)
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Old 05-13-02   #18
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Of all the live journals so far this is the most interesting one, let me tell you that for sure and there are many many others who will agree with me.
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Old 05-13-02   #19
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hehe...

stop that! You're making me blush....

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Old 05-13-02   #20
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Me? I am making you blush?!
I need to celebrate this I just got FuckDoll bushed!!!!
YAY!
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