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Old 12-12-01   #1
Feroluce
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Location: A paddy in Engerland....
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Woman

*Stands back and awaits the flack*

There's one for men out there somewhere but I can't seem to track it down at the moment..
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© Feroluce™ 2001-11, The authors, affiliates and their subsidiary companys accept no responsability for any coherence in the above or any aforementioned or prior correspondance. The above opinion may contain information unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs.
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Old 12-12-01   #2
DeeeeShevil
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you should have placed that in humor boozoo the clown:p
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Old 12-12-01   #3
gArGOyLe^^
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ELEMENT: Man

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WORKPLACE HAZARDOUS MATERIALS

INFORMATION SYSTEM

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET


MAN

A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ELEMENT: Man
SYMBOL: BOZO
DISCOVERER: EVE
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 72 kilos, but known to vary from 47 to 255 kilos
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Unjustified superior attitude
2. Unpredictable nature, often ambiguous
3. Considered insensitive and stubborn
4. Melts if given special treatment
5. Obnoxious if incorrectly used
6. Found in various states; many of which are unattractive
7. Yields to pressure applied to correct points (wallet)
8. Appearance varies; ranging from color to height and mass; rarely is the specimen satisfied

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Locates quantities of gold, silver, platinum and precious stones for counterpart's consumption
2. Provides great quantities of expensive substances for counterpart's use
3. Complains about counterpart's consumption
4. May explode spontaneously when receives bills of counterpart's activities
5. Insoluble in liquids, but obnoxious level greatly increased by saturation in alcohol
6. Most destructive force ever created, especially to itself

COMMON USES:

1. Appearance enhanced by artificial means; ornamental stones and metals, or attractive transportation
2. May be used as a tension device
3. Used as heating agent, if properly prepared
4. Can cause reproduction; use extreme caution
5. Perceives it has a rare ability to determine it's exact destination without the need to ask directions

STORAGE:

Best results are obtained if the specimen is aged between 19 and 30 years.

TESTS:

1. Specimen often becomes confused when used in a raw, natural state; it's nature changes
2. Turns green when placed beside a larger specimen

HAZARDS:

1. Migrates in groups of similar species; generally congregating in frenzied packs around sporting events
2. Highly dangerous, even in experienced hands
3. Use extreme care if experiments are to succeed
4. While in possession of one specimen, it is highly unwise to attempt to obtain another
5. If specimen begins to boast, leave immediately
6. Appropriate protective attire is required to complete satisfactory conclusions
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