Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions
Home Register FAQ
Go Back   Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions > Welcome > Socialize
Reload this Page Comprehensive Lesbian Image Test
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-05-01   #1
Acid Dream
Lost Inside Myself
 
Acid Dream's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,692
Acid Dream
Credits: 23,230
Comprehensive Lesbian Image Test

I thought this was amusing...Check it out...

C.L.I.T. Comprehensive Lesbian Image Test
by Tori Joseph HUMOUR

In our culture, it used to be that a woman was either gay or she wasn`t.
Nowadays we have so many words to describe ourselves, it would take a
taskforce of PhDs in queer vernacular of the day, or a very skilled
clairvoyant to decipher them all.

WARNING - Do not confer with your significant other on answers. Doing so may
be detrimental to your relationship.

Match the following concepts with their definitions listed below.

_ born to be a lesbian
_ converted lesbian
_ lesbian by choice
_ bisexual
_ transsexual
_ fluid sexual identity

a) a former hetrosexual whi finally admitted her disillusionment, dumped her
husband & bacame a lesbian
b) a woman who possesses the yet to be found lesbian gene
c) only her surgeon knows for sure
d) a woman who has experimented with both males & females before deciding on
the better sex
e) a free spirit who wants her (beef) cake and Edith, Suzie, Mary and other
females too.
********************
Check all that apply
1. Hard butches
_ are domineering, controlling and intimidating hairy women with permanent
scowl lines embedded in their faces, who scare people on sight
- never commit, they only conquer
- are synonymous with stone butches, bull dykes, big foot and Neanderthals
- are led to believe they have power over women

2. Butches
_ are female Fonzies
_ are notorious for leading many straight women to convert
_ really do carve notches in their bed posts
_ make excellent charm school teachers

3. Soft butches
_ are wannabe butches who just can`t get the attiture right
_ are butches with sensitivity training
_ are butches who have been soaked in downy
_ all of the above

4. Hard femmes
_ are femmes who work out
_ are butches in training
_ are butches who look better in a dress
_ are femmes who have been burned by too many butches
5. Femmes
_ have fingernails and know how to use them
_ have the power and know how to use it
_ are infamous for bringing butches to their knees
_ enjoy being mistaken for being straight

6. Soft femmes
_ are femmes you can sink your teeth into
_ are femmes who need to join a heath club
_ are femmes who whisper a lot
_ are novices

7. Gender benders
_ are butches who wear evening gowns
_ look better in boxer shorts than most men
_ when packing, fill out the front of jeans better than most men
_ make everyone do a double take

8. Androgynous women
_ have both male & female characteristics
_ have neither male or female characteristics
_ are the undiscovered third sex
_ are transgenderists

**********************
Read the statements below & decide if each is true, false or you`d rather not
say...
_ Tops are preferably either butch or femme
_ Being topped by a femme is a peak experience for a butch
_ Being topped by a butch is redundant
_ The taller woman is always the top
_ Good tops are hard to find
_ Good tops are hard to tie down
_ Topps is a brand of baseball cards
_ Bottoms up is a contradiction in terms
_ Being a dime a dozen, bottoms are very cost effective
_ It is not fair to switch in the middle
_ A switch is a woman equally skilled with both hands
_ A switch is a woman who has trouble making up her mind
_ Switches do not really need a partner
_ A fiery woman who switches should be nicknames a "hot cross bun"
**********************
Check the correct answer

Conventional sex is called _ vanilla _ chocolate
_ strawberry _ rocky road

Sado-masochism is _ politically correct _ politically incorrect
_ a non-political _ a famous sumo wrestler

B&D refers to _ breakfast & dinner _ blind & deaf
_ a true, erotic experience

A submissive _ is a female submarine commander
_ takes it lying down
_ knows it`s better to surrender than fight
_ is a piece of writing sent for publication

Domination refers to _ a spotted dog _ having the upper hand
_ having the upper bunk _ a religious preference

**********************
Which of the following should we claim as part of our culture

_ a lesbian who has never been sexual with another woman
_ a lesbian who is celibate
_ a lesbian who sleeps with men
_ married women with understanding husbands
_ any variation of bisexuality

******************
Are you
_ happily single
_ unhappily single
_ happily married
_ unhappily married
_ monogamous by choice
_ non-monogamous by choice
_ celibate by choice
_ celibate by circumstance
_ a virgin by choice
_ a virgin by circumstances

Rank these fantasy dates

_ dating the diesel dyke
_ liason with the leather dyke
_ tryst with the tomboy
_ lust with the lipie (lesbian hippie)
_ fling with the femme fatale
_ loving with the luppy (lesbian yuppy)
_ adventure with the author
*********************
Scoring
If took the test, it indicates that you ....

_ are very secure in your knowledge of lesbian identities
_ are one of those perpetual student lesbians who thought the test was part
of the curriculum
_ are probably as confused as the rest of us, and seeking some enlightenment
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-01   #2
ArSiNiK
beer 12fl.oz (355ml)
 
ArSiNiK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: redondo beach, ca
Posts: 29,624
ArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these parts
Credits: 28,466
sweet, i'm a lesbian.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-01   #3
bambam=o(
*dark decadence*
 
bambam=o('s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: MassA2Shits
Posts: 2,920
bambam=o( is on a distinguished road
Credits: 22,078
I can't really make a comment, I don't want to be bias, just want you to know I am around, and I appreciate you contributing :p
__________________
Clinton Hunter Dakota Boyd.
deeply missed, never forgotten.
10*29*03-01*20*04
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-01   #4
Acid Dream
Lost Inside Myself
 
Acid Dream's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,692
Acid Dream
Credits: 23,230
I took the test and guess what...I'm bisexual...Oh wait, I already knew that...Maybe thats why I find humor in this test...Sorry if I offended anyone...Not my intent...
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-01   #5
neonwraith
Voice of Unerring Reason
 
neonwraith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: In the Cold Harsh North
Posts: 3,408
neonwraith
Credits: 108,935
I took the test

I'm confused!

Neon
__________________
"I've oft been told by learned friars
That wishing and the crime were one
And heaven punishes desires
As much as if the deed were done.

If wishing damns us, you and I
Are damned to all our hearts content.
Come then we may at least enjoy
Some pleasure for our punishment..."

Sir Thomas More
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Recent Threads
Hey fr0g
9 Hours Ago 01:49
Last post by thefr0g
1 Hour Ago 09:37
Obama sends a letter.
13 Hours Ago 21:42
Last post by Sic Simon
13 Hours Ago 21:42
what surprised you today?
04-11-13 17:55
Last post by Sic Simon
13 Hours Ago 21:19
Science Disproves...
11-01-10 14:38
by Pahu
Last post by Sic Simon
14 Hours Ago 21:16
Whats your job?
11-20-07 14:57
Last post by Sic Simon
2 Days Ago 20:26
what have you eaten...
12-24-03 19:43
Last post by JeNn_DeViLz
4 Days Ago 10:09
Darkforum Youtube!
03-25-13 07:48
Last post by JeNn_DeViLz
4 Days Ago 09:32
vote or die
1 Week Ago 01:56
Last post by JeNn_DeViLz
4 Days Ago 09:20
vote or die
1 Week Ago 02:02
Last post by Sic Simon
5 Days Ago 21:45
long Sunday
3 Weeks Ago 18:00
by DaxterK
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 01:46
Online Users: 54
0 members and 54 guests
No Members online
Most users ever online was 1928, 06-09-15 at 18:20.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0 RC2


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com

© 2006 - 2016 Dark Forum | About Dark Forum | Advertisers | Investors | Legal | A member of the Crowdgather Forum Community