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Reload this Page goth lines to use in bed
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Old 10-14-01   #1
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goth lines to use in bed

1 - "OUCH! Do that again!"

2 - "God, I love it when you bite me THERE!!"

3 - "OW! Shit! That was hot! (seconds later) Do it again!"

4 - "Geez, is it morning already?"

5 - (with evil grin on face) "Time for the leather and whip cream sweetie."

6 - "You waited to put that thing on 'til NOW?!?!"

8 - "No marks!"

9 - "You taste like an ashtray."

10- "My headache is starting to go away."

11- "You have a psychedelic penis."

12- "I can make your penis sing...see?"

13- "The guy is watching us."

14- "Could you cut this thing off me?"

15- "Help I'm stuck!!"

16- "My legs went numb! How'd you do that??!??"

17- "Oh my, my entire body is tingling!" Sex Tip: unplug the Bed.

18- "I love seeing your painted black fingernails against my skin."

19- "May your lips be blessed, for they are truly sinful."

20- "Are the handcuffs too tight?"

21- "Do you really want me to wear this makeup to bed?"...Thoughtful look... pause... guilty look... vigorous NOD.

22- "I miss my dog."

23- "Oh...harder...*deeper*..."

24- "God, your skin is *silk*, I tell you."

25- "You taste so sweet."

26- "No, stay still, shhhh...I just want to be in you."

27- "Does it hurt, my sweet? Oh *good*..."

28- "Drink."

29- "Tighter? You greedy thing, you."

30- "Is that your hair in my mouth or mine?"

31- "Oh, I've lost my earring again!"

32- "PLEASE??" *sob*

33- Just for effect, ask someone what they would think about rutting in a bathtub filled with jello. I have never seen that look on anyones face before.

34- "Wait. Don't move. No really, don't move. My ampallang's caught in your labia rings. It's not funny! Just lie still for a second."

35- "Shall we have a cigarette now or is that a cliche?" (Is that *during* sex, if so I think it's kinda fun to do. Really hard not to burn your partner though) "Ouch" Puff "Ouch" puff "Whoops sorry about that -- but hey it'll leave a nice scar!"

36- "Get off your all pointy."

37- "Your better than your mother."

38- "Help me, I'm stuck.......On second thought...."

39- "This thing is too small... why didn't you get a bigger coffin?"

40- "OOUUCh... do it again"
"No, that candle has got to last all night."

41- "Are you pubic hairs normally that colour or do you dye them?"

42- "Damn I've lost the key...You don't happen to know where there's a hacksaw do you?"

43- "Mmmm, you taste really nice…must have been that raspberry ice lolly."

44- "So, do you like to be tied up?"

45- "I hope you don't mind, but I've shaved all my body hair."

46- "Do we have to take our boots off to screw?"

47- "You know, you might wanna take my bra off BEFORE you put the handcuffs on."

48- "Stop! I think my Dad's home!"

49- "SHIT!" (to my SO as her dorm room door flings open)

50- "HI! Did you forget something?" (to your SO's roommate as she's staring at your butt high up in the air...)

51- "I hope that was as good for you as it was for me"

Reply: "When you say 'you,' are you referring to me as a metaphysical subject, to the impersonal pre-metaphysical *moi*, or simply to my personal self?"

(Reflecting): "Well darling, as I'm not interested in truth-as-correspondence at this moment, I suppose it must be #2."

(Smiling, like a benighted philosoph): "What a romantic Nietzschean move on your part, my little Uber-kink."

(Fingertips dally on material being): "Let's do it again, only this time with a *will-to-power*"

(Complies, most willingly, but thinking, "Good thing it wasn't Foucault this time as the candles are all burnt out and the rest of the gear is locked up in my briefcase")

52- "Oh no!!! That won't fit THERE!!!!"

53- "That better be white candle wax your dripping on me, the black candles leave stains..."

54- "What the hell...Did you put Floodland on REPEAT?!!!!!"

55- "Shit! The chain is caught around my ankles again...."

56- "Wait...I'll be right back...I need to download one more program..."

67- "Hmmmm, let's take a break. I need to check my e-mail and I'm sure you probably do too...."

68- "Are those bite marks!!?? Great, what am I going to wear around my neck at work tomorrow!?"

69- "You ARE a girl/boy….right?"

70- "Well….you could pretend I'm a boy/girl!"

71- "C'mon, it won't hurt. . .I can get my hand to the bottom of a Pringles can."

72- "Errr…You mean the candles aren't just for dripping wax…?"

73- "This album really does have a strange effect on you. . ."

74- "Oh, so THAT'S why people don't like black sheets very much..."

75- "What?!? Mustard stains PVC?! NOW what am I supposed to wear out tonight!?"

76- "Honey, get the crucifix out of the bed. I need to change the sheets."

77- "If I died now my life would be complete."

78- "It's no good, I'm gonna have to take the sunglasses off. I can't see a damn thing."

79- "Yuck! I hope you're gonna clean that up."

80- "I was going to blindfold you but I didn't want to smudge your eye makeup."

81- (After your partner has spent 10 minutes attaching you to the bed) "I think I need to go to the bathroom."

82- (thud) "Ouch, I thought the bed was wider than that."

83- "OUCH, I hope you cleaned your teeth before you did that."

84- "You taste weird."

85- "You want me to wear that?!?! NEVER. Oh, okay then, pass it here."

86- "Shit, I dropped the TV remote again."

87- "If you hit me with that inflatable banana one more time......."

88- "Either you are lying on the remote control or there's something wrong with the stereo."

89- "You are SOOO Evil."

90- "Eeek! That was too nice...Do it again!!"

91- (when getting dressed) "Is that your skirt or mine?"

92- "Slower!! If we sweat our make-up will run."

93- "Wouldn't you rather just go dancing?"

94- "Can't we face the mirror??"

95- "Is there room for both our egos in the same bed?"

96- "If you pour the wine all over me, what will we drink later?"

97- "Don't get that candle anywhere NEAR my hair!!!!!"

98- "You want to put your pet snake WHERE?!?"

99- "Wow, Your teeth are SOO sharp."

100- "I can only feel it when I smile!!"

101- 1st person: "You got black lipstick ALL OVER MY NECK!!!!"
2nd person: "YOU got black lipstick all over MY neck!!!!"

102- "My hair is stuck in your chains.....and I'm not telling you what part of my body the hair is on!!" *cough*

103- "Ouch, ouch, ouch….no don`t stop!!"

104- "That's not EXACTLY what I meant by nail me to the mattress."

105- "I can't believe it, you've broken my whip!!!"

106- "Your sister was better."

107- "Is that your blood or mine?"

108- "Tttoouch me, I want to feel diiirrrtyyy!" (The Rocky Horror Picture Show)

109- "Ugh! You got blood all over my coffin!!"

110- "Damnit! Our genital rings are stuck again!!"

111- "Wait…I thought you were a girl!!"

112- "Oh! I thought you were a girl. Oh no, I don't mind..."

113- "Stop!! It's my turn to be tied up."

114- "I'm sorry, I think the battery's dead."

115- "I want blood!" (childish whine)

116- "What if I took your blood without asking?"

117- "Wait! My rings are tangled in your hair!"

118- "*Someone* needs to get their nails trimmed!"
"No way, I sharpen them on purpose!"

119- "I can't find my labia ring!! You didn't swallow it?"

120- "Will you do anything I say? Slap me!"

121- "Shhhhh! I think I saw some headlights past that grave!"

122- "Damn, there's nowhere to attach the handcuffs to in this coffin of yours."

123- "No, Not in my hair."

124- "Look, if I turn like this and you put your foot there I think can unhook my eyebrow piercing from your clit ring...OW!! Let's go again."

125- "Hurt me...Hurt me...But only a little bit...O.K?"

126- "Where is all that blood coming from?"

127- (sexy voice) "Where do you Want me to put that...Collar?"

128- (chant) "Elbow sex elbow sex elbow sex elbow sex…" (Riff Raff and Magenta get it on)

129- "What's that black stain on my leg? Did you use Manic Panic on your roots AGAIN?!"

130- (priest and a Catholic girl kneeling in prayer) "Forgive me Father for I have sinned..."

131- "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school!" -Fight Club-

132- "Shhh, be quiet and keep really still...No, REALLY still.....Ok, look, can you please just play dead??"

133- "Ok, I see a car battery, a tow chain and some cables...what EXACTLY are you planning on doing?!"

134- "No, I won't, that's only legal in Nevada."

135- "Should cum BE this colour??"

136- "There is NO way that will ever fit up my...OH!! It DOES!!"

137- "I was wearing a cock ring a minute ago!"
"cheerleaders are dancers who've gone retarded."

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Old 10-14-01   #2
Evil Cheese fry
cheese gone wrong
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thats some awsome shit right there, I LOVE IT
"Thou hast bred hate where there dwelt none
And for this grave mistake
How thou art fallen Morning Sun
The proud will be abased"

He would not heel nor fake a bow
Murmur curses to the wind
And lo, the wrath of god swept down...

"Thou art no more an angel filled
With light, but a leech to be abhorred
And thou shalt suffer My burning will"...
Quoth this raven: "Nevermore"

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Old 10-14-01   #3
Spikes Personal Stalker
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lol thanx evil...glad you enjoyed them...heres another joke i stole from a mate....

An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter
and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down
next to him.
The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless,
started up a conversation.
The American snapped his gum and said, "You Australian folk eat
the whole bread?
The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his
breakfast, and replied, "Of course."
The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States, we
only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle
them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia."
The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in
The American persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"
Sighing, the Australian replied, "Of course."
Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia."
The Australian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?"
The American smiled and said, "Why of course we do."
The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
"We throw them away, of course." Now it was the Australian's
turn to smile.
"We don't. In Australia, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States."
Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?"
"cheerleaders are dancers who've gone retarded."

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Old 10-14-01   #4
Spikes Personal Stalker
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heres another.......


4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana


1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently until fur-lined mixing bowl
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results, continue to knead milk
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably not overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana doesn't soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.


1. If in unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town.
"cheerleaders are dancers who've gone retarded."

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Old 10-14-01   #5
the poet
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oh hunny i loved those! especially the last one. hehe

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

No...wait...I take that back...I have no problem with the horse you rode in on.
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Old 10-14-01   #6
Shy's solution
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That last one was the best...God, I'm still laughing...
Your mouth is like a suicide Talkin like you never died Automatic charisma For your chemical mind I'll suffer for you I'll suffer for you You're kissing me like benzocaine w/your Sleeping pill eyes Melting me down and suck, suck, sucking my brain I'm gonna hate you tomorrow Because you make me hate you today...Marilyn Manson "Suck 4 Your Solution"
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Old 10-15-01   #7
Dark Christ
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i liked that last one....
"He lives the poetry he cannot write. The others write the poetry they dare not realise"

"He was wearing his yellow tie, i did'nt even wear a tie to work anymore..."

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Old 10-18-01   #8
Feared by the Devil
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this is actually funny
You are your own worst enemy, embrace yourself.
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Old 10-18-01   #9
Darling Apathy
Darkness Incarnate
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Those lines were hilarious!
I love you for hating me. I hate you for loving me. Save yourself. - Peter Steele

My vices are cheaper than therapy.

You say I'm a bitch like its a bad thing.
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