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Old 10-04-01   #1
bloodwing
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top ten

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.

9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

7. Look at the size of his putter.

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.

1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.
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excuse me, i'm going to go scream into a pillow now.

am i destined to fall as icarus did? his wings- his freedom destroyed by the one thing he longed for...


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Old 10-04-01   #2
bloodwing
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Top Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked...

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 80!"

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it's like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.
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excuse me, i'm going to go scream into a pillow now.

am i destined to fall as icarus did? his wings- his freedom destroyed by the one thing he longed for...


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Old 10-04-01   #3
bloodwing
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TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS...

10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet

8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT."

5. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

4. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

3. You're counting down the days until menopause.

2. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

1. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
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excuse me, i'm going to go scream into a pillow now.

am i destined to fall as icarus did? his wings- his freedom destroyed by the one thing he longed for...


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Old 10-04-01   #4
Darling Apathy
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the golf one of funny
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I love you for hating me. I hate you for loving me. Save yourself. - Peter Steele

My vices are cheaper than therapy.

You say I'm a bitch like its a bad thing.
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