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Old 09-21-01   #1
midnightsorrow
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Odds and Ends

Ok first off I something called Pam's Miranda.
It was given to me by a officer working at FMP( florida marine patrol). Makes you wonder about the people arresting you and searching your boat and such for drugs.

Pam's Miranda
You have the right to swing first. However if you choose to swing first, any move you make can and will be used as an excuse to beat the shit out of you. You have the right to have a doctor and a priest present. If you cannot afford a doctor or are not presently attending a church of your choice, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand what I just told you asshole?
__________________

". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
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Old 09-21-01   #2
midnightsorrow
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Location: Lost in sweet dreams of surrender,embraced by fate, tracking down death
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14 Things You can do to turn love into a burning hell!!

Ok here is another or my all time favorites...mainly for the girls.

1. Don't tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but...Well..you know. Just say whatever's gonna get you through with as little inconvenience and aggravation as possible.
2. Date the poor sod thinking you do infact have a chance in hell of changing all the things you don't like.
3. It's great to recycle, but don't limit yourself to paper or plastic. Even if you've long ago resolved an argument, dredge the issue up again and again. This is also a great technique to employ when you're busy arguing about something else entirely.
4. When confronted with a situtation, phenomenon or person you don't fully understand, by all means jump to the most negative conclusions. The more unfounded assumptions, the better. For example, if he says last night he was hanging out with "a friend", assume that he really means he was fucking his new girlfriend.
5. Call him a minimum of six times a day
6. When asked the question of questions, "what are we going to do tonight?" remain apathetic. That way A)you don't have to stick your neck out by suggesting something that may turn out to be a loser idea. Then B comes in handy....If you have a crappy time, you can endlessly rag on him for thinking up such a stupid idea in the first place.
7. Become impatient and don't hesitate to become irrate about anything and everything that have absolutely nothing to do with him and you. Easy excuses are lame songs on the radio and supermarket check out lines.
8. Tell him his driving sucks
9. Make "Do it to him before he does it to you" your battle cry.
10. Never forget this formula...
Boyfriend=Cash Flow!!
11. Remember that sex is a tool to be used to extract positive reactions, material good and long-term devotion.
12. Guilt is the backbone of any good relationship
13. Cry alot without ever explaining why. Creative use of tension will have him eating out of your hand.
14. Fuck him cause you look so damn good in the front seat of his new car.
__________________

". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-01   #3
midnightsorrow
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Location: Lost in sweet dreams of surrender,embraced by fate, tracking down death
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MOTHER

Here is one I made into a sign and pasted to my bedroom door.
(i just lovvve my "mother" can't you tell??)

M-is for the Massive guilt she gave me;
O-is for the Outbursts that she had;
T-is for the Total domination;
H-is for How she drove out dear old Dad;
E-is for the Eunuch that she made me;
R-is for the Respect she stripped away;

Put them altogether---they spell

MOTHER


The reason that I'm so fucked up today!
__________________

". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-01   #4
midnightsorrow
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Lost in sweet dreams of surrender,embraced by fate, tracking down death
Posts: 6,847
midnightsorrow is on a distinguished road
Credits: 167,155
Top 11 Saturday Morning Cartoon Characters That Never Made It

1--Lumpy The Nicotine Addicted Mule
2--Governor Horse
3--Hostage Boy
4--Speedee Caffinee
5--The Lil' White Supremacists
6--Huck and Muck, The Tax Evading Beavers
7--Commander Spittle
8--Obese Wrestlers in Outer Space
9--Those Lovable Illegal Aliens
10--The MacNeil/Lehrer Babies
11--Stony, The Cavenman Fred Is Seeing Behind Wilma's Back
__________________

". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-01   #5
midnightsorrow
Fuck-Happy Fox Creature
 
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Lost in sweet dreams of surrender,embraced by fate, tracking down death
Posts: 6,847
midnightsorrow is on a distinguished road
Credits: 167,155
Top 5 Songs Cut From "The Wizard of Oz"

Song Sung By

1--"And Toto Goes Splat".................................The Flying Monkeys
2--"Watch What I Can Do With Rubber"...........The Irritable Witch of the South
3--"Oz Spelled Backwards is Zo".......................The Munchkin Republican Committee
4--"Cough! Now Cough Again!"..........................The Wizards Urologist
5--"The Tin Man is Homophobic And I Know Why"............The Scarecrow




{I just love classic family movies, don't you? }
__________________

". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-01   #6
midnightsorrow
Fuck-Happy Fox Creature
 
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Lost in sweet dreams of surrender,embraced by fate, tracking down death
Posts: 6,847
midnightsorrow is on a distinguished road
Credits: 167,155
Top 10 Unpopular Carnival Games and Rides

1--Hit yourself in the head with a mallet
2--Dunk the vengeful violent psychotic
3--The upside down upchucker
4--The saliva slide
5--Yank the vagrant's tooth
6--Check the clowns for hernias
7--Guess your threshold of Pain {I have tried this one and it isn't that bad}
8--Throw a rock through your windshield
9--Shave the rabid raccoon
10--Bumper hats



{damn now I wish the fair came more then once a year!!}
__________________

". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-01   #7
midnightsorrow
Fuck-Happy Fox Creature
 
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Lost in sweet dreams of surrender,embraced by fate, tracking down death
Posts: 6,847
midnightsorrow is on a distinguished road
Credits: 167,155
So You Want To Get Pierced!!!!

Calling all Youth!
So you want to get pierced??!!

Q---Isn't piercing strictly for fetish-guys, S&M freaks and seething carnival workers?
A---Not anymore!! Thanks to modern alienation and boredom, yesterday's creepy psychopathology has been magically transformed into today's wholesome trendy middle-class youth affectation!
Q---Will I ever run out of body parts to pierce?
A---If it dangles, protrudes, jiggles, throbs, we can impale, lance, drill, or stab it!
Q---Does it hurt to get pierced??
A---As might be expected, any sudden perforating, puncturing, or skewing of sensitive human tissue might lead to what some call "pain". We like to refer to it as "that sharp unpleasant tingling sensation."
Q---Isn't pierceing just a fancy word for self-mutilation?
A---Hey, self-mutilation is something you do to yourself . With piercing we do it to you , and you merely pay us. Come on, grow up! Don't you want to really freak out Mommy and Daddy???!!



Now you can weat your abused childhood as a permanent fashion statement!!!!
So come on! Be a sport!!
__________________

". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
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