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Old 09-05-01   #1
Death's Grip
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Drinks & Personalities

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance, down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.


Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying, a pain in the butt.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.


Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, very picky, knows exactly what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her; if she is interested, she'll send you a drink.


Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel, see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.


Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy, thinks she is classy and sophisticated, but actually has no clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is; this should be an easy target.


Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and is looking to get totally drunk ... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed this evening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make her mad!


Then there is the male addendum. The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a hoot about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay (and looking to get laid).
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Old 09-06-01   #2
SWITCHBLADE666
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ok its funny but i didnt like the male section. only for the reason that not all men care about getting laid. dotn get me wrong, the vast majority do and thats all they care about but there are those rare exceptions that do count. my man (posthuman) loves jack daniels whiskey and likes to drink imported and domestic beer and he doesnt give a shit about getting laid. he s never been that kind of guy and i know that for a fact. your jokes are funny though they throw alot of shit towards men (which makes them funnier) but i m just letting you know that i m lucky and dont have one of those typical loser males for a lover.

I AM SPECIAL!!!!

p.s. he drinks mixed drinks too.
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Old 09-06-01   #3
SWITCHBLADE666
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never the less their funny.

you go girl.
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Old 09-06-01   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by SWITCHBLADE666
ok its funny but i didnt like the male section. only for the reason that not all men care about getting laid. dotn get me wrong, the vast majority do and thats all they care about but there are those rare exceptions that do count. my man (posthuman) loves jack daniels whiskey and likes to drink imported and domestic beer and he doesnt give a shit about getting laid. he s never been that kind of guy and i know that for a fact. your jokes are funny though they throw alot of shit towards men (which makes them funnier) but i m just letting you know that i m lucky and dont have one of those typical loser males for a lover.

I AM SPECIAL!!!!

p.s. he drinks mixed drinks too.
it's all in fun, and i only posted a select few of my joke (mostly the one's that give men a hard time) but i have others and a wider selection, i just haven't gotten around to posting them yet, and i'm worried ppl will quickly get sick of reading my posts
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Old 09-07-01   #5
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I do the beer and the shots! wwwooooo im easy and laid back!!
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Old 09-07-01   #6
neonwraith
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It said nothing about cocktails

Is that mixed drinks?

If so well,
I'm a girl-drink drunk and proud.

Give me a vodka and a mcdonalds thick shake and I'm happy!

Neon
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Old 09-07-01   #7
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Okay, it is true. It is kind of funny, except, on draft nights people drinking tequila drink beer.
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Old 09-07-01   #8
SWITCHBLADE666
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i m a mixed drinks person.

wow i m high maintenance and refined? how about that?

the picky part is so true and the knowing what i want... i think so.
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Old 09-07-01   #9
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Personally, I am a "Fuzzy Navel" gal, but I always get Jake and Coke. I like to appear rough.
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Old 09-08-01   #10
DeirdreMayfair
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lol hehehe funny
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