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Old 08-28-01   #1
Spikess
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gothic break up lines

Many of these were used in real break-ups.

"We need to have a serious chat..."
"You make me too happy. Go away."
"Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville, population: You."
"I'm getting really sick of you eating all my girlscout cookies."
"You're not weird enough."
"You have no more t-shirts I want to borrow."
"Ummm... I just realised something about my sexuality"
"Monogamy, what's that?"
"Will you marry me?"
"What? We're a couple?"
"Hmmm.. I thought you'd be dead by now."
"I much prefer coffee"
"I've been feeling a bit strange lately."
"My religion has this thing against having sex with corpses."
"You just look better than me in my skirts."
"I was hoping we could just go back to being enemies......."
"Listen darling, I just wanted to fuck you not fucking marry you"
"I'm really sorry, hon. But either we break up, or one of us dies."
"I don't know how to explain it, but I think my cat's allergic to you."
"It's just not going to work. You're human, and I'm not."
"My mom thinks you're a dork."
"My parents don't hate you as much as I hoped they would."
"I got what I want. Now leave."
"You know that straight girl I've been in love with for years...? Guess what?"
"A friend of mine is really interested in me...."
"I think it's time to break up the comic collection......"
"You're just too nice. More like a friend than a lover."
"I don't fancy you anymore. Go away."
"Look, I'm just about sick of you, now wont you just fuck off!"
"You're not evil enough for me to have a serious relationship with."
"You have my permission to see other people if you want."
"I can't date anyone who has never heard of George Carlin."
"I can't go out with you because I actually like you."
"I don't like obligations..."
"Look, hon, being with you is like babysitting."
"I can't see you anymore. I can't tell you why, but someday you'll understand. Please, just leave me alone. I know from the bottom of my black heart that I'm no good for you. I'm sure someday you'll find your Alabama. I picture you coming back home in a few months and passing me by on the street like you never knew me."
"I know that breaking up will mean the the death of us both"
"Would it upset you terribly if we were just . . . FRIENDS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
"I'm sorry... this is all happening too fast... I mean, I've known you for three days and its usually three weeks before I would even kiss someone... Besides, I'm here in London and You'll be in Bristol from tomorrow... It could never work... sorry... and besides, I like you too much, as a friend, you know... sorry."
"No, we're not going to break up."
"You bore me."
"I've gotten all I can out of you. Leave me."
"You wore pink last Tuesday. Get out of my sight."
"You're actually starting to cheer me up."
"You don't like sex on gravestones?"
"You used up all my hair spray."
"You gave me live flowers, how tacky."
"You want to do what? Bowling?!"
"I think your an embarrassment to me and the rest of humankind, fucking hippie!"
"I have to have B.'s little dark-haired babies. You need to find someone to have your little blond-haired babies."
"Uh, sorry, I thought I liked you, but I've just realised you irritate the living shit out of me. Sorry. Bye."
"Listen luv, after last night I finally got my eyes tested."
"By the way, we broke up. About two months ago. I forgot to tell you."
"Well, let me put it this way. I live in North Beach. You live in The Haight."
"I just get so bored after a while...."
"I love you but I want to date 3 other people to be sure if this is right for me."
"I lied to you for the past 2 months."
"Look, this isn't working. It hasn't worked so far and I don't think it will, no matter how hard we work at it. I like you a lot, you're a great friend, but I don't want to marry you, you're suffocating me and I think we should call it quits."
"You don't have any more clothes that I want to borrow."
"I think we need to have a talk about you and I.... You are aware that there is no You and I, right?"
"I'm sorry, but you want a house in the suburbs, 2.5 kids, and a golden retriever, and all I want is a really good corset and some cats."
"Commitment?... Wait, hold on, what 'relationship'?"
"No, you aren't really a vampire."
"You want me to go to church with you? We need to talk."
"It's not that i think you are becoming unattractive but....um... can you look the other way when i am talking to you."
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