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Reload this Page Hi!!! I Am Satan.
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Old 08-26-01   #1
Xuldemios
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Hi!!! I Am Satan.

Hello. Well not really. Ok I am not Satan. Do you think he has the time with the Census going on to come up here and enlighten you wretched little Monkeys. I am however a Crown Prince Of Hell.
I have been sent as an emissary to this quite destitute dirtball to first; apologize in His Name for the slight delay. God; may His wretched soul be consumed by the lovely magma of The Lake Of Fire; is lazy. Or perhaps even a Coward. Our Census is almost done. Lucifer Himself is attending to the last count of all the Whores that have ever lived. That is why I am here. To answer your questions.

So ask away.

This Thing-

I like this Thing.

You Monkeys are funny.
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Old 08-26-01   #2
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Don't worry, the men in white coats will be here soon... veeeery soon...
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Old 08-26-01   #3
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Whoa... I thought people like you were too drugged to type...oh well, I guess I was wrong.

So, Xuldemios...tell me about your childhood...
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Old 08-26-01   #4
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Hello.

Men in white coats. I do not understand. Are you suggesting I visit a butchers? Or that the butchers are coming here?
Well; I suppose that is good. Tell me AAAAA; are you a stout young example of Humanity? Have you ever sinned?
If so we may have a use for those butchers.



This Thing-

Reminds me of you Monkeys.
Cute and bouncy.
Until you start to scream.
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Old 08-26-01   #5
Billy the Kidd
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i love the way you keep calling people monkeys, its very Christopher Walkanish of you..how quaint.
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Old 08-26-01   #6
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No not the butchers, the other men in white coats... You must have met them before?

Bye the way, would you mind visiting the "Origins of Satan/Lucifer" thread, I think there are a few quetions for "you" there Have fun. In parting, both Set and Tezcatlipoca could beat Hebrew Satan any day.. :p
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Old 08-26-01   #7
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Well I never had one as I was born to instant awareness and already inside of a grown body. Fun stuff that. Would you care to elaborate upon the grave misdemeanors that stain your youthful soul Clearwitch.
Perhaps we can ascertain whether or not your Soul is damned.
Of course one never knows until you foolish little Monkeys fall over dead.
Damn God and his Moment-Of-Death Clause.
We would really appreciate the help Down Here.
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Old 08-26-01   #8
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Re: Hi!!! I Am Satan.

Quote:
Originally posted by Xuldemios
God; may His wretched soul be consumed by the lovely magma of The Lake Of Fire; is lazy. Or perhaps even a Coward.
Apparently you haven't done your homework very well. God states his reasons for not intervening very clearly in the Bible:

Crowd my courts no more, bring offerings no more;
the smoke of sacrifice is vain, I loathe it;
your gatherings at the new moon and on sabbath,
I cannot abide them;
your fasts and festivals, my soul abhors them,
they are a weariness to me, I am tired of them.
You may stretch out your hands,
but I will never look at you,
and though you may offer many a prayer,
I will not listen.
Isaiah 1:12-15

Apparently, he isn't very fond of churches...
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Old 08-26-01   #9
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Yeah, what an ass that damned Jehova is eh?...
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Old 08-26-01   #10
Xuldemios
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Christopher Walken is a personal favorite of mine. We are hoping we get him down here. We have some really good film crews. He would be a very welcome addition. Bastard keeps cheating Death though. No it is not my place to visit other places that exist beyond this one and only thread. If there are questions I will answer them. As I said; there is no reason to become hostile; We here in Hell apologize for the delay.
Set.
Why do you think they call Lucifer Legion?
He has known many Names.
He is Legion.
He is everyone of you Monkeys that has ever committed a grave Sin.



Monkeys-

Watch the Monkey bounce.
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Old 08-26-01   #11
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5a: Yuppers... If Samichking gets back here I'll ask him about that one...
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Old 08-26-01   #12
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Xuldemios: Do you even know the origin of the Legion mythos? It was purely political, aimed at the Romans. Nothing but fiction. But since you apparently are unwilling to move away from your little box of safety, let me ask you this... Is Lucifer and Satan the same?
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Old 08-26-01   #13
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Oh. The Bible. I would not put too much faith in that thing. You dumb Monkeys think of History as old at 500 Years or more. You forget your Great-Grandparents; you forget your past and dwell on the present. Which is good for Us. We are pretty sure that God is going to lose this war. That is why I am being so candid.
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Old 08-26-01   #14
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Clearwitch your documentation only proves your gullability. Yes; please put your Faith into the written word. We so enjoy new Souls here.
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Old 08-26-01   #15
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Actualy Set is the oldest known Prince of Darkness, far from "another name for Lucifer"...
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Old 08-26-01   #16
Xuldemios
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Are Lucifer and Satan the Same?
They are one and the same.
Yet when you are dealing with a being like him who has the ability to live thousands of different lives all at once a lot of your Human Deduction will get lost to conjecture.
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Old 08-26-01   #17
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*siren noise* wrong answer. You just lost $100,000!
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Old 08-26-01   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by Xuldemios
Oh. The Bible. I would not put too much faith in that thing.
Who said I put faith in it? I merely stated what it says, it's up to you to believe it or not. Now tell me, what sources do you use, little one? Anton LaVey?

Quote:
You dumb Monkeys think of History as old at 500 Years or more. You forget your Great-Grandparents; you forget your past and dwell on the present.
Aaahh...And you remember the last 10 000 years vividly? Then I assume you are familiar with the likes of Colombus, Napoleon, Adolf Hitler... Tell me now, oh allmighty one, in wich order, exactly, did Hitler invade Eourope? I want countries, towns, dates, number of deaths, number of soldiers, timelines, everything. Enlighten me.

Quote:
Which is good for Us. We are pretty sure that God is going to lose this war.
I think someone has seen God's Army one time too many...

Quote:
That is why I am being so candid
No. You are being so 'candid' because you live in a dreamworld. Face it, kiddo, it's a lost cause. The first two replies should have told you that much
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Old 08-26-01   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by AAAAA
Actualy Set is the oldest known Prince of Darkness, far from "another name for Lucifer"...
Look If HE says that I should Call Him Lucifer; I will Call Him Lucifer. Yes He did at one time prefer to be Called Set. He has also been Called Millions of Names that are lost to your puny Monkey minds. Your present history going back 100 years is fairly accurate. Beyond that it is all conjecture and hear-say. Myth and Legend. Legends progressing First; later becoming Myths that fast fade from your memories.
Any other questions?
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Old 08-26-01   #20
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Oh oh! I got a question for Satan: what does he think of Mr LaVey?
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