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Old 08-18-01   #1
Clearwitch
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Problems 'Only Gothic Mothers Have

Finding maternity clothes that DON'T look completely lame. For some reason it is assumed that if you are pregnant, you have an overwhelming urge to wear Winnie the Pooh's wardrobe.

Trying to look graceful and delicate while waddling your fat ass onto the dance floor on swollen ankles.

Feet that are too swollen for your favourite boots.

Your belly button ring pops open and flies across the room, nearly blinding your OB during an examination in your third trimester.

Breast milk stains on black velvet.

Spit-up stains on black velvet.

Trying to look dark and mysterious with a Blues Clues diaper bag over your shoulder.

Trying to find baby clothes without cute little duckies and bunnies all over them.

Trying to find tiny little combat boots.

Suddenly realizing you're humming "I'm a Little Teapot" under your breath at a club.

Your favourite makeup is now being used to decorate a wall.

Getting fishnet gloves stuck in a mobile and hanging over the crib trying to free yourself.

Tiny little fingers caught in piercings.

You spent 45 minutes getting your makeup just right, and now have tiny little handprints in your foundation.

You're just too tired to be really deep and thoughtful.

No more candle filled rooms, unless you want a major fire on your hands.

No one believes that those aren't stretch marks but are, instead, a cool new tattoo that just isn't finished yet.

You can call yourself Countess Dark Mystic Mystress Nyght Rayvyn de Lioncourt, you're still spending a large part of your day wiping someone else's ass.

Even if it is black and covered with stickers, it's STILL a minivan.


...courtesy of my friend daughtry...i wish she was my mother...
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Old 08-18-01   #2
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That was amusing...Very true though...
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Your mouth is like a suicide Talkin like you never died Automatic charisma For your chemical mind I'll suffer for you I'll suffer for you You're kissing me like benzocaine w/your Sleeping pill eyes Melting me down and suck, suck, sucking my brain I'm gonna hate you tomorrow Because you make me hate you today...Marilyn Manson "Suck 4 Your Solution"
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Old 08-18-01   #3
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head fall down in bordenizm

@@#####$%&000000000011111111$$$$$$$$$$

Matrix system is talking to shy girl
dam as shy girl wakes up and look up at her computer...
oh no the matrix system is talking to me... it's saying hey shy girl your the one...

shy girl look if you want me to be your side kick and want me to do some combat training then i'll do it..... as shy girl wears all black and puts on her dark sunglasses....

shy girl gets up flies and walks on the walls.... then gets back down on the flloor... on her own two feet....

then these people in green suits are shooting bullets at me... i move my body side ways and as you can see the bulllets are bouncing off of me and going back at the people in green suits....

oh sorry got carried away...
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Old 08-18-01   #4
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oh nnnnnnoooooooooo!!!!!!!

sorry about that... very good jokes... oh man shits down and starts shaking.... rocking back and forwarth....

very stupid thing for me to do
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Old 08-19-01   #5
midnightsorrow
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OMFG!!!
That was completely and totally wonderful!!! This goes along with problems only Christian Goths have.
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-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
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Old 08-19-01   #6
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whats the problems only christian goths has..?
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Old 08-19-01   #7
jaded silence
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dude this is like so me in about 10 or some years.im gonna be the most kick ass goth mommy some day.
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Old 08-19-01   #8
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Like those.....I wonder if you ever could find tiny little combat boots that would kick ass!!!
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As I lay in your arms, I think. You never could complete me, you could never fill the void, but atleast, you would never make me cry. You would never make me want to die. But is it better to be truly in love, than here with you in a world that nothing is complete, nothing is whole, because you are not him, the one I truly love.




Candy From Strangers - Sweetly Stupid
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Old 08-19-01   #9
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im still searching for the boots...but ive found an amazing amount of black velvet clothes for my daughter...she rocks!
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Old 08-20-01   #10
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Problems only Christian Goths have

Having to not laugh during bad sermons.

Keeping a grim and distnat expression when yer carrying that damned, heavy-ass cross during procession.

Avoiding "incidents" while
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Old 08-20-01   #11
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Problems only Christian Goths have

I aman alter-boy at my church, so some of these only apply to that.


Having to not laugh during bad sermons.

Keeping a grim and distnat expression when yer carrying that damned, heavy-ass cross during procession.

Avoiding "incidents" while with your sharp buttons during hugs at the peacegiving.

Trying to stay dark and graceful when you spill the wine while filling the challice of the priest.

Constantly being accused of being a walking, talking contradiction.

Not enjoying the fact that I'm drinking Christ's blood during communion. Then stealing some of the wine when nobody's looking.

Not enjoying the fatc that I'm eatign Christ's body in those scary little wafers.

Having to keep from hissing when the holy spirit tries to enter through your head during the healign services.

Wanting to "stay in character' by leaping in during the baptism and hiss out in terrible pain.




GIMME MORE!!!!!
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Old 08-20-01   #12
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OOPS!!!!!!!!

Didn;t see the thread down there! *blushes*
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Old 08-21-01   #13
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Here's a thought

When you were little your parents dressed you in specific clothing, that you hated and part of your rebellion was in the clothing.


Just think of how your kinds are going to react.

Preppie in your face Chrstians with britney spears esque music blasting from their rooms.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!
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Come then we may at least enjoy
Some pleasure for our punishment..."

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Old 08-21-01   #14
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I know, neon...but so far. my little girl is untainted. She thinks fishnets, mohawks and black velvet is 'real pwetty'. And I'm so proud of her...
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Old 08-21-01   #15
midnightsorrow
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Clear--Can you adopt me?? Please!! Damn I wish you would have been my mother.
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". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
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Old 08-21-01   #16
Clearwitch
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LOL

thankies, midnight, but I'm pretty sure you'd want a saner mother than me...
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Old 08-21-01   #17
midnightsorrow
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Clear--You forget who the hell I live with, my "mother" is a frequent flyer member and she don't fly or use drug...(for the most part).
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". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
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Old 08-21-01   #18
Clearwitch
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'flyer member'? what's that?
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Old 08-21-01   #19
midnightsorrow
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As in flying off the handle and going nuts, or flying off the handle going nuts and commiittng herself to a psych ward.
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". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
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Old 08-21-01   #20
Clearwitch
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Oh. I had just never heard that expression before. Yiou know, more than once have I wished that my mother would take the step to commit herself to treatment...she desperatly needs it. But there's no use in trying tio tell her that. the first commandment of my family is:

'Thou shalt not admit weakness'

the 2nd is:

'Thou shalt keep a perfect phasade'

...I wish I was adopted...
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