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Old 06-10-03   #81
Edge
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Backstabbing, hate, fear, hypocricy, lies....I want to get rid of them. I want to be free, as I used to be.
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I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-10-03   #82
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Sometimes I can't believe how terrible I can be...
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I want to live in a world of peace
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I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-10-03   #83
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Why do I always have these thoughts when I am about to close a year...soon to close 21 years..I can't help thinking that it awlays gets worse...

What goes up, has to fall....
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I want to live in a world of peace
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I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-11-03   #84
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Apathy...lameness...boredom....can't even wake up anymore...numb...can't feel anymore...loosing goals...loosing focous...

And all that leads to fear...fear of loosing my jobs, fear of loosing security...fear of rejection, fear of people themelseves...
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I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-11-03   #85
Dargo
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maybe your overdoing it. though you probably won't in your eyes. Don't overwork and outsress yourself now. Take good care of yourself. It's the only body you have this life....

you don't have to be afraid if you do what you do and what you do is right...
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Old 06-11-03   #86
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I don't know what is right, it faded somewhere between stress and insomnia...
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I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-11-03   #87
Dargo
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either way, not good at all. I'm no doctor, but you know what they call stuff like that nowadays

burn out....where your body simply can;t keep up with the strain you put on it mentally and physiscally....
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Old 06-11-03   #88
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And if I was advising myself I would tell me to change the scenery, go on hlolidays, meet new friends and all...

I don't think I have much willpower left...
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I want to live in a world of peace
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I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
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Old 06-11-03   #89
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you took the words right out of my mouth.....

they can do without you ya know, the companies won;t go apeshit if they don't have edge for 2 weeks. It will all fit in nicely, other people do it, why not you?
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Old 06-11-03   #90
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I can't even describe what I feel anymore, it's not the job, it's my view of reality...or I am going insane.
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I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-11-03   #91
Dargo
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reality is what you make of it. your view that you have now is your reality. The things you see now are as real as they get...

the pain you feel or not feel at all is as real as your reality is at this point. Your reality is you rnumbness. your not going mad just experiencing things you have never experienced before.....

but as all things you have faced once in your life you should not be afraid of this new experience....
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Old 06-11-03   #92
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It feels different....
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I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-11-03   #93
Dargo
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everything new feels different because you have not tasted it yet...have not felt it yet and experienced it yet...

every problem one has to overcome is a new experience gained for furutre life.
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Old 06-11-03   #94
Edge
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And I need my chemicals
I need your chemicals

Are my dreams gone?
Are my words forgiven?
Are my deeds undone?
Am I now forgiven?

The walls of this chamber
were made to set you free
So soft, so clean
My friend, where have you been

I'm a revolutionary
A christian fairy tale
I'm a missionary
A visionary anarchist

I'm a full moon fever
I'm a non-believer
I have hope and I regret
I accept and I neglect
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I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-12-03   #95
Edge
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Love conquers all...it doesn't have to be a lovers love...just love. I need to thank someone for that.

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I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-12-03   #96
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All brave men love; for he only is brave who has affections
to fight for, whether in the daily battle of life, or in physical contests.
__________________
I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-13-03   #97
Dargo
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love is such a many splendid thing...it is so weird that i felt it, and still feel it...it is wonderfull and does wonderfully blinding things to you......

you fight for things you love...it thrives you
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Old 06-14-03   #98
Edge
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3 hours of sleep, I had a drink yesterday, for like the second time in my life..I woke up with a very strange relaxed feeling, like everything was in place....I need to sleep, I actually will sleep today, I can feel it.
__________________
I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-14-03   #99
Edge
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I try to lookup to the sky but my eyes burn...
__________________
I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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Old 06-15-03   #100
Edge
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Afraid, look into the sky
I can feel this rain
Right now it's falling on me
Fly, I just want to fly
Life is all mine
Some days I cry alone,
But I know I'm not the only one
I hear and another day is gone
I don't wanna die...
Please be here when I arrive, don't cry... please
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I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one Iíve seen in my dreams.
I just canít keep it inside
Iíve gotta say what I wanna say
Your face doesnít show your fighting pose.
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