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Old 07-15-06   #1
Kendra
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journal...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mia~ow
Here's the place to post your inner most feelings and thoughts. Treat it as a diary, a place to call your own.

What you post here, stays here - no quoting journals outside the Journals forum and whatever anyone posts cannot be used against them.

Flaming within this forum will not be tolerated. Breach of these rules will result in a warning and possible ban. If you have nothing constructive to say DON'T POST!
i thought i should bring up the journal rule inside of my journal. that way if anybody is wanting to be nasty to me inside of my journal and disrespect me all together. i do not need to be physically attacked.
i CANNOT allow those kind of behaviors inside of my journal.

i am not forcing any single one of you people to come in here and read what i write or hear what i have to say.

people will come into my journal for multiple of reasons... with those multiple of reasons that you have in order to come to my journal for. i basically do not care what those reasons are. i want you to know that i accept you full-hearted and with open arms.

i also want the people who are viewing my journal. as well as when they post something back to me out of a journal entry. i want people to respect other people as well. of course as you can tell i want everything to be civil.

just as long as you obey me and fallow the rules. we will ALL get along just fine. if you don't you will get a warning or possibly be banned.

welcome to my journal.
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Old 07-15-06   #2
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stuff about kendra.

by the time i was 6. i had 3 operations and 2 of those were for my cleft palate. i had a hole at the back of my throat when i was born. which was the cause for a cleft palate. they also had to stitch my tongue to my cheek. cause they thought i might swallow it, choke on it, and die if they didn't do that to me. and the other was to fix my ears and to put tubes in them so they could drain.

after that i went to speech therapy to be able to talk. from there i had to have a special teacher to learn to read. i learned how to read by reading dick and jane. all of this happened by the time i was 6 years old.

after that it was one special class after another and that is why i didn't graduate high school till i was 20. i was put into a class room with kids who had downs syndrome, autistic, mentaly retarded, and cerebral palsy. but by the time i got to high school. this lady took me in for a test. after she tested me she realised that i was way smarter than those kids and she couldn't understand why they have thrown me in a class like that. so this time they had put me in a better special ed class.

i also have scoliosis and by the time i was either 8 or 9 years old of age. i had to go to houston texas to get operated on over there. because they couldn't find a doctor here in el paso texas who studies within the field of scoliosis. now i have a steel medal rod in my back and they also took a hip bone out of me. cut it up into little pieces and put it in between my back vertebrates. i think that was the toughest operation i had to deal with. i was also scared about it and it was seriously uncomfortable.

then i have problems with my eyes and i have papilledema. papilledema is a swelling and protrusion of the blind spot of the eye caused by edema it's also called the choked disk. i'm also nearsighted.

as you can see i have a learning disability and i'm also dyslexic.

growing up for me was hard and seriously very stressful. but here i am as you see me now.

if your health isn't as bad as mine. it kind of makes you stop and think to appreciate it for not being like my health.


now you know and understand about kendra.
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Old 07-15-06   #3
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You are obviously working well with your dyslexia - you seem to have very good grammar and spelling.

I'm surprised that they would have the kids with cerebral palsy in that class as well - CP doesn't affect your mind.
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Last edited by Darketernal; 07-15-06 at 17:28.
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Old 07-15-06   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darketernal View Post
You are obviously working well with your dyslexia - you seem to have veery good grammar and spelling.

I'm surprised that they would have the kids with cerebral palsy in that class as well - CP doesn't affect your mind.
i do the best that i can. though i still of course struggle with it on my dyslexica. but i'll let you in on a little secret. i spend my time using the online dictionary A LOT. as you can see the dictionary has been very handy and helpful to me.

i had no idea that my grammar isn't all that bad. i'm glad you are letting me know about that. since i'm not too sure about it is all

the reason why CP doesn't affect my mind. is because to correct you on one thing. i DO NOT have CP. i'm perfectly normal.

thank you for your nice reply.

Last edited by Kendra; 07-16-06 at 17:35.
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Old 07-15-06   #5
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Believe me - your grammar isn't publishing worthy perfect, but it is LIGHTYEARS above most of the damn mouth breathers out there. Just look around at most of the posts from anyone who signed up and stayed for one day. It's nice that most of the people that stick around here are literate (mostly), at least.
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Old 07-15-06   #6
Kendra
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darketernal View Post
Believe me - your grammar isn't publishing worthy perfect, but it is LIGHTYEARS above most of the damn mouth breathers out there. Just look around at most of the posts from anyone who signed up and stayed for one day. It's nice that most of the people that stick around here are literate (mostly), at least.
haha

well thank you and i'll be sure to check that out.
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Old 07-15-06   #7
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lonesome town by ricky nelson

There's a place where lovers go
To cry their troubles away.
And they call it,
Lonesome Town,
Where the broken hearts stay.

You can buy a dream or two
To last you all through the years.
And the only price you pay
Is a heart full of tears.


Goin' down to Lonesome Town,
Where the broken hearts stay.
Goin' down to Lonesome Town,
To cry my troubles away.

In the town of broken dreams,
The streets are filled with regret.
Maybe down in
Lonesome Town,
I can learn to forget.
Maybe down in
Lonesome Town,
I can learn to forget.
Lonesome Town.
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Old 07-15-06   #8
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save conversation.

Leslie says:

whatcha wanna do before you die?

Kendra says:

has myself think about that question for a bit. actually i am going to tell you the truth i don't have a slightest clue as to what i want to do before i die. it's just i don't really allow myself to spend so much time thinking about things like that. though i don't mind answering these kind of questions at all.

Leslie says:

I suppose it's alright not to think about it

Kendra says:

yes and exactly. i feel that when this kind of day will come for me. it will and by that time i will know what i want to do before i die. but who says that i gotta do anything and what if i like to do nothing or do the complete opposite?

Leslie says:

people just have all of these plans for you..and what they think you should do so what if you do nothing or the complete opposite

Kendra says:

yes and i agree to that. i like to take my own routs.. i don't like to do what everbody else likes to do is mainly all. i have my own mind and i am my own person. this is my own world. i can think for myself. the kind of people that i have in my life. which is my family they help support me as to what i want to do with it. that is no joke. besides people don't know what is best for me. they don't know what i should do or shouldn't do. they do not know what i think or don't think... they don't know what i feel and don't feel. they don't know what i want or don't want. the only person who can know all of that is myself.

Leslie says:

I think it's awesome

Kendra says:

that is making me smile. thank you.

Leslie says:

good, it's very hard to find people that let go like that. I don't want to do what's expected. I don't want to react like everyone reacts, I don't want to feel like everyone feels, and I don't want to follow common advice.

well that is our conversation.

i think that she is looking up to me. because i can do something that she is wanting to do. though she cannot do it. she can do it. the only thing is. is that she is having a lot of fears and she is worried about what other people may think of her.

when she does this i don't want her to do it under my influences. or because of how she looks up to me. she should do it when she is wanting and allowing herself to let go and do it.

i don't want her to be on my path. i am not interested in being a leader and i am not interested in being a follower. basically i just want to be a stray. to move away from a goup and go about my destination.
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Old 07-15-06   #9
Kendra
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girl, you'll be a woman soon by neil diamond

Love you so much
Can't count all the ways
I'd die for you girl
And all they can say is
"He's not your kind"

They never get tired
Of puttin' me down
And I never know
When I come around
What I'm gonna find
Don't let them make up your mind

Don't you know
Girl, you'll be a woman soon
Please, come take my hand
Girl, you'll be a woman soon
Soon you'll need a man

I've been misunderstood
For all of my life
But what they're sayin',
Girl, just cuts like a knife
"The boy's no good"

Well, I finally found
What I've been looking for
But if they get the chance,
They'll end it for sure
Sure they would
Baby, I've done all I could

It's up to you
Girl, you'll be a woman soon
Please, come take my hand
Girl, you'll be a woman soon
Soon you'll need a man
Soon you'll need a man.....
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Old 07-15-06   #10
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Just poppin into say hi and see what your new journal is like sweets!

Hmm, say, is there a link between DF server changes and you creating new journals?
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Old 07-15-06   #11
Kendra
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncletiggs View Post
Just poppin into say hi and see what your new journal is like sweets!

Hmm, say, is there a link between DF server changes and you creating new journals?
hello tiggs.

on the server changes and creating new journals. i have no idea.
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Old 07-16-06   #12
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today's horoscopes.

ARIES- Our luck goes wherever we go but, like our nose, we cannot see it because it is too close to us. We only see it in our reflection. When we stop to look back on where we have been or what we have been through, we get some idea. But others are in a better position than we are to assess the extent to which we have been blessed or cursed. We really can't be objective because we take our disappointments so closely to heart - and because we are often over exuberant about our successes. Jupiter this week, though, insists that you will do well by anyone's standards... even your own. Expect some convenient coincidences.

TAURUS- "When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." Sir Arthur Conan Doyle gave these words to Sherlock Holmes. You don't, though, have to be a great detective in order to see their relevance in your life this week. Something seemingly far-fetched is taking place. The more you try to understand it, the more confused you become. Surely, something can't really be happening or someone has got hold of the wrong end of the stick. Really, though, you had best believe the evidence of your own eyes. What's happening may be very strange but it is very positive.

GEMINI-So here you are, right back where you thought you would never need to go again. Reliving old dreams - and old nightmares. Are you going round in circles? Not quite. It's just that you have some unfinished business to attend to. Sort it out and set it right and you may yet seriously improve your long-term prospects for emotional and material security. Unfortunately, in the process of doing this, you must face a fear, or return, mentally at least, to a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. Hence, the stress that you find yourself experiencing. Really, though, all you need is a little love, trust, creativity and patience.

CANCER- Nothing lasts forever. Still, though, some things go on for a remarkably long time. We can end up feeling trapped; not just by the situations that seem to be endlessly oppressive but even by the ones that are quite harmless. Still, these play their part in keeping us travelling along old familiar tracks when we could be exploring new and different roads. A part of you is now tired of the routine which has become extremely predictable. Another part of you feels that it is churlish to walk away from a formula that is still successful. Compromise if you can. If you can't, take the risk, ring the changes and reach out for a brave new adventure.

LEO- How long does it take two people to reach an agreement? That depends on how much they are enjoying their argument. Debates and disputes are popular passtimes. What satisfies a hunger for controversy? Some really good feud. You can't stop someone else from feeling keen to keep up a conflict, but you can at least, modify your own position. If you withdraw from an active role in a process of antagonism, you make it much easier for others to back down. A very positive possibility presents itself. Given all that it could lead to, you would be well-advised to put past differences aside wherever possible.

VIRGO- You win some, you lose some. You clear up a mess, you create another one in the process! You try to save some money, and you end up spending even more. All these things can and do happen from time to time. Is that bad? What a question. That's like asking whether there is something wrong with a day if it is followed by a night. Life has its rhythms and its seasons. When we are on an up, we don't worry too much about the down. When things seem to be going against us, we figure the tide will never turn again. This week brings something brilliant, and something deeply frustrating. Give your energy to the former.

LIBRA- Do all stories have happy endings? That rather depends on how patient you intend to be. If you wait long enough, things will definitely become right, no matter how wrong they could seemingly be. So, when will your current stressful saga take a turn for the better? Sooner than you think! You have already been through the worst of it. If things seem to be dragging on, that's only because there are some complications that are bound to take a while to resolve. You are tired. You are starting to feel pessimistic. But really, though, you have no need to worry. It won't be months before you see a change for the better. It will be days.

SCORPIO-Sometimes, we don't realise when we are mentally or physically exhausted. We just fill up with adrenaline and we plough on regardless. We feel fine until one last straw breaks the camel's back and we suddenly collapse in a physical - or psychological - heap. Try to remember that. You are going through a lot and it is taking more out of you than you realise. Eat well and sleep well. Avoid worrying unnecessarily. Indeed, just avoid worrying. All worrying, ultimately, is unnecessary. Pace yourself. Preserve your strength and this week's minor, but intense, source of aggravation will soon pass.

SAGITTARIUS- You were born under the sign of the Archer. You should find it easy to answer this week's crucial question. If there is a target that you absolutely have to hit, how many arrows must you carry in your quiver? That's quite right. One is, indeed, plenty - as long as your aim is true. Now, let's try a different, but related question. How big does a window of opportunity have to be before you can take advantage of it? That's right too. Just big enough to climb through! As long as you've got a chance, you can make something of it. You face a tight situation this week. It is not, though, so tight that you can't make a success of it.

CAPRICORN- If you didn't care so much, you could be a lot more objective. You could walk away and shrug your shoulders. You could invest less and avoid risk. Your heart, though, is well and truly caught up in the matter that you are now so preoccupied by. You can't pretend otherwise. But nor is that as much of a problem as you might fear. You have been sincere and generous. You have tried to do the right thing. You have nothing to be ashamed of and every reason to believe that, "If what comes around, goes around" then the right things will come back to you. Venus suggests a difficult week, with a deeply rewarding and delightful outcome.

AQUARIUS- What's too expensive? What's beyond your means? What can't you have? What is there no point in you even trying to attain? You feel as if a certain situation is hopeless. You are really not entitled to be so pessimistic. You may have encountered a setback but you have not arrived at the end of the world. Act as if you expect things to get better soon. Be prudent but not despondent. Though you don't quite understand how you have got into a difficulty, it doesn't matter. You can find your way out of it through as logical a process as you found your way into it. Have faith and aspire to the very best - and you will yet get it.

PISCES-Someone isn't telling you all you need to know. You don't require chapter and verse. A certain piece of information, though, would shed a very different light on a situation that you think you fully understand. If you ask for the truth, you will not necessarily be given it - or at least, not by the person who really ought to disclose it. So don't ask an individual. Ask the universe! Put out a general request for enlightenment. From somewhere, somehow, the full story will reach you. After this has happened, a decision will become much easier to make, and a problem will become much easier to solve.

now i've gotten everyone's horoscopes for today.
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Old 07-16-06   #13
Kendra
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"Son Of A Preacher Man" by dusty springfield.

Billy-ray was a preacher’s son
And when his daddy would visit he’d come along
When they gathered round and started talkin’
That’s when billy would take me walkin’
A-through the back yard we’d go walkin’
Then he’d look into my eyes
Lord knows to my surprise

The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, mmm, yes he was

Being good isn’t always easy
No matter how hard I try
When he started sweet-talkin’ to me
He’d come and tell me everything is all right
He’d kiss and tell me everything is all right
Can I get away again tonight?

The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, lord knows he was

How well I remember
The look that was in his eyes
Stealin’ kisses from me on the sly
Takin’ time to make time
Tellin’ me that he’s all mine
Learnin’ from each other’s knowing
Lookin’ to see how much we’ve grown

And the only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, oh, yes he was
He was the sweet-talking son of a preacher man
I guessed he was the son of a preacher man
Sweet-lovin’ son of a preacher man
Ahh, move me
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Old 07-16-06   #14
Kendra
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BLOOD & FIRE gave me this article.

"How To Stop Yourself From WORRYING"


Dear Friend:

Most of us worry from time to time. Some worry occasionally, only when difficult situations arise. Others worry more often, usually about specific areas of their lives, such as health, a key relationship, children, money, job security or the like.

Some people worry constantly. If they have nothing specific to worry about, they will think something up. Even worse, they might unconsciously create a difficult problem or situation, just to have something "real" to worry about.

Whichever group you may belong to, any advice you may have received about dealing with worry probably hasn't helped all that much.

There are reasons for this.

No matter what you read or whom you listen to, your ability to eliminate worry may not have increased as a consequence. In this report, I'm going to explain why.

Years ago, I worried fairly often. Now, I hardly ever worry, no matter what happens to me or to others close to me. How did I make this change? I'll explain in a moment. The answer is not a simplistic one. But first, let's examine...

A Few Key Points About Worry

Point #1--Most People Are Very Capable Of Eliminating Worry

Most people have the ability to eliminate worry whenever they want. They aren't psychologically handicapped or "challenged" in any way. Nor are they lacking in intelligence, commitment, or desire to make their worry go away.

Mostly, what keeps us from successfully conquering worry is a lack of understanding. Much of what we've been taught about worry (and other moods and emotions) isn't really true. As a result, we lack certain distinctions that are critical for making worry naturally disappear. Once these distinctions are in place, however, your ability to deal with worry can rise dramatically.

Point #2--Do You Know What Worry Really Is?

Whether you call worry a mood or an emotion doesn't matter very much. In fact, if you call worry a mood, you don't get any less of it. Call it an emotion, and it persists just the same. But what if you call worry a habit? Now, a habit is something you can do something about!

Good News!!!

Lucky for you, worry is a habit! It's not a natural state of human life, nor is it necessarily a good or positive thing. Worry is just an automatic habit of thinking and responding to certain events in life. It's produced by specific thoughts (i.e., conversations) and behaviors (i.e., action patterns) that get triggered automatically inside our bodies.

If you've purchased my book The 14 Day Stress Cure or my tape album Your Personal Stress Coach and you received my Pocket Stress Coach index cards with them, take out your index card for worry and look at it right now. Turn to the side marked "CONVERSATIONS" and look at the statements numbered 1-4. This is how you have to be thinking in order to feel worried (if you don't have the card, just follow along--you'll be just fine):

You've got to be assuming something bad might happen in the future.
You've got to be assuming someone or something will be hurt or harmed.
You've got to be thinking that if you just worry hard enough, somehow you'll keep bad things from happening (psychologists call this "Magical Thinking.")
Most people believe that if they didn't worry, it would mean they don't really care.
These are the habitual thought patterns that cause worry to occur. Now, flip the card over and let's examine the habitual ACTION PATTERNS that either cause worry to occur or keep it from resolving:

A. Trying to magically influence external situations or events (i.e. doing the equivalent of a rain dance!)
B. Indulging in worry instead of acting to eliminate or deal with a situation.
C. Trying to deal with situations yourself (when you lack the necessary skill or experience to do so competently).
D. Failing to seek help from others (who do have the competence to assess and/or solve your problem).
We'll come back to these specific thoughts and behavior patterns later on. Be clear, however, that the more you habitually engage in these specific thoughts and behaviors...the more worry you will have. And vice versa.

Point #3--Do You Know How To Distinguish Realistic From Unrealistic Worry?

All instances of worrying are not the same. Sometimes, we may worry for good, realistic reasons. If you live in a high crime area, for example, you should probably worry about walking around alone at night. If you frequently engage in unprotected sex with multiple partners, you should be worried about getting AIDS (and other sexually transmitted diseases). And if you are a senior citizen and worry that Newt Gingrich is out to reduce your Medicare benefits, you might have good cause to worry (even though I don't believe things will turn out badly for you, whatever Congress decides).

But what if you still are worrying that the Russians are going to nuke us any day now? Or how about if you live in fear that someone infected with the HIV virus will breathe on you or cough in your face? These are examples of unrealistic worry. They are based upon exaggerated concerns of future hurt or harm.

NOTE: An exaggerated concern doesn't mean that the bad event or circumstance could never conceivably happen. Worriers often argue that the possibility is not zero. But it is the probability, not the possibility, that distinguishes realistic from unrealistic worry. How probable is it that the Russians will launch a nuclear missile in our direction tomorrow? How probable is it that you will catch AIDS from casual contact with an infected person? In most cases of unrealistic worry, the possibility may be present, but the probability is just about zero.

Point #4--What's The Difference Between Productive and Non-Productive Worry?

Sometimes worry can actually motivate us to take effective action. I call this productive worry, to distinguish it from its much more prevalent non-productive counterpart. If you've been goofing off and not preparing well for an upcoming test or major task, worrying about failing might be very appropriate (i.e., realistic). Even more, if this nagging feeling of worry causes you to buckle down and prepare more seriously, then in addition to being realistic worry, it becomes productive worry as well.

Unfortunately, most of the time people are engaged in either unrealistic or non-productive worry (or both). In our modern culture, worry is even accepted as a substitute for taking action. People who do nothing but worry incessantly about their problems can console themselves by saying "Well, at least I'm doing something (i.e., worrying) about my problems."

Why All This Advice Rarely Helps

You can completely understand everything I've said so far and still not find it easy to stop yourself from worrying. What are the reasons for this?

The answers can be found by considering the next four points.

Point #5--Human Automaticity And Conditioned Body Responses

As human beings, we are programmed to respond in automatic ways. The thought patterns and behavior patterns we engage in most of the time are not, in large part, under our direct voluntary control. Things happen in life, and our bodies respond automatically. Unconscious conversations and action patterns kick in, and our moods and emotions follow in their wake.

This is why you can understand a whole lot about worry intellectually, and your body will keep right on worrying despite what you know. You can, for example, know that it's silly to worry about losing your job or getting struck down with a serious illness, but your body goes on worrying about these things nonetheless. That's just our human nature. If our bodies have become used to worrying over time, they will continue to do so no matter how hard we try to intervene.

It's important to recognize that from our body's standpoint, worrying almost always seems to work! If you worry about your job every day and you don't lose it, your body will conclude that it was worrying that paid off. Even though worrying had nothing to do with you keeping your job, it will be hard to convince your body otherwise. Thus, worry tends to beget even more worry, at least as far as your body is concerned.

Also, worry is associated with "caring" in your body. When you worry, your body sends you warm, fuzzy messages. It says "you care about people" or "you are really a concerned human being." To give up worrying, therefore, is anathema to your body (and your self-image). Your body will tend to hold on to this silly habit, and if you ever decide to free yourself from it, your body will resist you strenuously.

Point #6--Worry Is Often Due To A Lack Of Wisdom

Another key point is the relationship between worry and a lack of insight or wisdom about life. People who are very wise about life tend not to worry very much. On the other hand, when people don't understand how life really works, they feel vulnerable and insecure. They often can't get life to turn out as they'd like, and as a result, they are much more fearful that bad things will ultimately happen to them (as they often do). It is very, very hard to get such people to give up worrying.

This is why much of the simplistic advice about how to stop worrying doesn't work for the majority of individuals. It's one thing to tell someone to "live life one day at a time" or "don't worry about things you can't personally control." It's quite another thing, however, to become the type of person who can live life this way (and truly mean it).

In my youth and early adulthood, I lacked a great deal of wisdom about life. I also tended to worry quite a bit. Now, I understand a whole lot more about how life really works, and as I've slowly accumulated this knowledge over the years, my tendency to worry has correspondingly diminished.

How do you gain such wisdom? Ah, that's the perfect question to ask. I just wish I had the perfect answer to give you. I do know that most people don't acquire deep insight and wisdom quickly or easily. They have to seek it out and spend many years testing out a variety of new perspectives. Once you've done this, you'll know exactly what I mean.

NOTE: Wisdom is not exclusively an intellectual thing. You know a person has true wisdom because their thoughts, actions, and accomplishments in life are congruent. In other words, they don't just think themselves out of worry. They consistently act in ways that reduce their chances of experiencing failure, disappointment, or serious harm.

Point #7--Worry Often Stems From A Lack Of Trust

Another key dynamic in the phenomenon of worry is trust. When you don't trust yourself to master the demands of life, you tend to worry. And when you don't trust others to help you overcome your weaknesses, you also tend to worry for the very same reason.

When you have a great deal of trust, however, that no matter what happens in life you'll come out okay, you won't worry very much. Attaining this advanced degree of trust is not easy. But it can be accomplished if you obtain the right support, guidance, and proper understandings.

As my level of trust in myself, in others, and in the universe as a whole has expanded over the years, my old habits of worrying have gradually dropped away.

Point #8--Worry Often Stems From Overinvestment In Life

One final point to consider is how easy it is to become overinvested in life. By "investment in life" I mean caring about a particular or specific outcome. When you need things in life to happen in very specific ways (in order to feel happy or satisfied), you set yourself up for repeated disappointment. Thus, "bad things" will happen to you much more frequently, and you'll be fueling your body to worry more intensely.

If, on the other hand, you take a more philosophical approach to life, your tendency to worry will not be as strong. YouÍll be confident that there can be multiple ways for life to work out, so you won't tend to value any one particular outcome above all the rest.

While this approach isn't applicable to every area of life, the more attached you are to having life go one particular way, the more you will worry that it won't end up as you want. Again, giving up such overattachment is not easy. Which again is why much of the simplistic advice about worry isn't helpful.

How To Stop Worrying

Given all that I've said so far, let me now try to offer you a few general caveats about how to cope with worry. The way you choose to deal with worry will vary, depending upon which subgroup of worrying you want to address.

A. The occasional worrier (situation dependent)

If you only worry occasionally, when certain uncommon situations arise, you can do yourself a lot of good by realizing that your body has been triggered to think and respond in worry-producing ways.

Take out the index card I included with this newsletter and look over the specific thoughts and behavior patterns that must be operating within you. Then consider each one separately, and see if you can combat it. If you can't think of ways to do this on your own, ask yourself the following types of questions:

Is my worrying realistic or unrealistic?
Is my worrying likely to be productive or non-productive?
Am I really doing a rain dance by thinking I can magically influence external events?
Am I continuing to worry mainly because I don't want to be viewed as someone who doesn't care? If so, can I separate caring about someone from feeling compelled to worry about them?
Am I worrying about something that could be resolved with effective action?
Am I worrying about something that I don't know enough about to resolve myself? If so, why am I not asking others for help?
Am I worrying because I trusted myself to handle something I really am not experienced enough to handle?
In most cases, if you just stop to ask yourself these questions, you will break up your body's worry habit, at least temporarily. Since you only worry occasionally, your internal programming probably isn't all that strong, so you should be able to overcome it with logic and careful reasoning, or by seeking assistance and clarification from others.

B. The frequent, but specific, worrier

If you frequently worry about the same types of issues in life (health, relationships, job security), stop trusting yourself to handle your fears. Realize you probably lack the necessary insights and wisdom at this time. Learn instead to rely upon and trust the wisdom of others whom you respect and who have demonstrated competence in the areas where you need help.

Become a student of the areas that are troubling you and slowly learn to increase your own trust and wisdom. Such trust and wisdom will not come quickly or easily. But as you begin to acquire it, your worry will naturally lessen.

C. The incessant, global worrier

If you tend to worry constantly, and if you've been regularly doing so for years, nothing simple is going to help you stop. Consider getting psychotherapy to explore your deep seated need to worry and the skewed, unrealistic view of the world that supports this habitual tendency.

In addition, give serious thought to engaging in some time honored de-conditioning exercises, such as the Eastern practices of Tai Chi or meditation. These will probably be necessary for you, since your body has become so conditioned to worrying that no amount of intellectual insight alone will be powerful enough to overcome your bodyÍs internal worrying machinery.

What Made The Difference For Me?

As I've already mentioned, my own transition from a frequent to an infrequent worrier took many years to unfold. Along the way, the following elements made the biggest difference, as far as I can tell:

Understanding the specific thought patterns and behavior patterns that cause worry to occur (see Index Card).
Understanding the nature of human automaticity.
Increasing my knowledge/wisdom about life.
Increasing my willingness to trust others to help me cope with problems when I don't really have the competence or expertise to solve them myself.
Lessening my attachment/investment to specific material things or outcomes in life.
Taking a more philosophic view of everything that happens in life.
As I review this list, I'm struck by how much these items differ from the typical advice people receive about worry. But I shouldn't be surprised, since most typical advice doesn't work, and these things actually did!

Well, I hope you enjoyed this special report about worry.

Wishing you good health, happiness, and much success,

i haven't read it. i am going to get myself to read it. since i worry A LOT as well. i am quite the worry wort.

remember BLOOD & FIRE gave me this to check it out.
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Old 07-16-06   #15
Kendra
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If Love Is a Red Dress by McKee, Maria

My heart is empty.
Your eyes are dark.
Once we were hungry,
Now we are full.
These chains that bind us,
Can't beat these chains.
If love is shelter,
I'm gonna walk in the rain.

You were my angel.
Now, you are real.
So like a stranger,
Colder than steel.
The morning after,
You know what you bring.
If love is a red dress,
Well, hang me in rags.

Away.
There goes the fairy tale.
Lord, ain't it a shame?
In all this comfort,
I can't take the strain.

If we played even,
I'd be your queen.
But someone was cheatin'.
And it wasn't me.
I've laid it on the table,
You had something back.
If love is Aces,
Give me the Jack.
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Old 07-17-06   #16
Kendra
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i don't like the change that darkforum has been made into. i liked darkforum the way that it was before all of it has changed into this. i want darkforum to change back into it's origional way. this is just my opinion of it. it's just the way that i think and feel about it is all. all i'm going to say is that i don't like it.
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Old 07-17-06   #17
Kendra
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(Let's stay together) by Al Green

I'm, I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do
Is alright with me
'Cause you make me feel, so brand new
And I want to spend my life with you

Me sayin' since, baby, since we've been together
Ooo, loving you forever
Is what I need
Let me, be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue
Ooo baby

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Oooo oooo ooo ooo, yeah
Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad

Why somebody, why people break up
Oh, and turn around and make up
I just can't seeeeeeeee
You'd never do that to me
(Would you baby)
'Cause being around you is all I see
It's why I want us to

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
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Old 07-17-06   #18
Kendra
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stuff about el paso.

it's a major military fort bliss army base. we are training the iraq special forces. we are on the boarder of mexico and new mexico. with major air force base in new mexico. the city is divided by the franklin mountains. el paso was known as el paso del norte which means the pass to the north. del norte was dropped and it stayed el paso. we're the 5th largest city in texas. we have about 600,000 people in el paso. things to see in and around el paso are hueco tanks which is known as one of the best place to rock climb. mt. cristo rey which is a statue of christ on the top of a mountain location. also there is white sands national mounument, lincoin national forest, and the maar volcanic craters.


we are a dry climate with desert and mountians. october through april temperature runs from 65-75. some cold days we might be 55. during the summer may to september 90 to over 100. our hottest month is june which most days are 100 and over. we get snow we might get one inch and by noon it starts to melt. about once every ten years we might get 3 inches of snow and it might last 3 days.

we also get the sun 365 days a year.

the language we say here in texas is "yeehaw, y'all, howdy, and shit"

but not all part of texan people talk like this with the words such as "yeehaw, y'all, and howdy." most of us talk pretty normal. and we still use the word shit no matter what.


if you were to come here to texas and say the word shit. people would not be blinking their eyes twice at you in total shock from how you've said the word shit and used it. because people do not care and we say it all the time. it's not a big deal to us.

now as you've noticed president bush grew up here in texas. but he wasn't born here. as you can see he even says the word shit. he is used to it because of texas.

if i say the word shit a lot. remember that it's a texan thing. texans say shit.


also we don't dress up as cowboy's and cowgirl's, we don't go out square dancing, and we don't ride on horses to chase after the indians and kill them. that is what you people see from the movie's and so that is how you picture texas to be. while it's not really like that at all from how you see it to be within the movie's. all of it just kind of depends on what part of texas you are from is all.


so our life style is pretty much normal. anyway that is stuff about el paso

Last edited by Kendra; 07-17-06 at 23:54.
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Old 07-17-06   #19
Kendra
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jungle boogie by Kool & The Gang

Get down, Get down, get down, get down X6

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Jungle Boogie
Jungle Boogie
Get It On
Jungle Boogie
Jungle Boogie
Get It On
Jungle Boogie
Jungle Boogie
Jungle Boogie
Get Down With The Boogie
Jungle Boogie
(Come & Shake It Around)

Jungle Boogie
Help & Get Down
Jungle Boogie
Boogie Baby
Jungle Boogie
The Boogie
Jungle Boogie
Bruhuhuhu
Jungle Boogie
Get Down
Jungle Boogie
Get Boogie
Jungle Boogie
Let Me Jump In
Jungle Boogie
Down With The Boogie
Get down, Get down, jungle boogie, get down, get down X6

Uh, Yeah
Feel The Funk You'll
Let Me Feel The Load

Get Down With The Boogie
I'm Gonna Knock With The Jungle Boogie
Get Down
Get Down With The Boogie Say
Ough!
Get Down Say Ugh
Get Down Say Ugh
Till You Feel It You'll
Get Down You'll
Get Down
Get Funky Ya'll
With The Get Down
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Old 07-18-06   #20
Kendra
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these questions came from one. so i took them here.

Taken a picture completely naked?
no (body shy)

Kissed someone?
yes

Danced in front of your mirror naked?
no (body shy)

Told a lie?
yes

Are down for one night stands?
yes

Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
yes

Been arrested?
no

Had sex in your parents house?
yes. well it was half a threesome. don't know if that actually counts.

Made out with someone of the same sex?
no. i want to.

Seen someone die?
no

Kissed a picture?
*think's and tries to remember.* i think so. i just don't remember.

Slept in until 5pm?
yes

Had sex at work (on the clock)?
no

Fallen asleep at work/school?
no

Held a snake?
yes

Ran a red light?
no

Been suspended from school?
no

Totaled your car in an accident?
no

Pole danced?
no

Been fired from a job?
no

Sang karaoke?
yes. a couple of times.

Done something/one you told yourself you wouldn't?
no

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
yes

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
yes

Kissed in the rain?
no

Sang in the shower?
no

Gave your private parts a nickname?
no

Ever gone to school / work partially without underwear?
no

Sat on a roof top?
yes

Played chicken?
yes

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
yes. a couple of times

Broken a bone?
yes

Mooned/flashed someone?
yes

Had sex with your socks on?
no

Shaved your head?
no

Slept naked?
no

Blacked out from drinking?
yes

Played a prank on someone?
yes

Had a gym membership?
yes

Felt like killing someone?
yes

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry?
no

Cried over someone you were in love with?
yes

Had sex more than 10 times in one day?
no

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets?
no

Been in a band?
yes

Subscribed to Maxim?
no

Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol?
no

Shot a gun?
no

Played strip poker?
no

Tripped on mushrooms?
no

Donated Blood?
yes

Video taped yourself having sex?
no

Eaten alligator meat?
no

Cheesecake?
yes

Last edited by Kendra; 07-18-06 at 02:44.
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