Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions
Home Register FAQ
Go Back   Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions > Discussions > Topic Discussions
Reload this Page Stupid Questions.....
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-07-04   #1
DarkSoul
CUNT
 
DarkSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 1,397
DarkSoul is on a distinguished road
Credits: 18,896
Stupid Questions.....

These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian
Tourism Website
and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie. (between
brackets the
country where the question was coming from)



1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it
rain on TV, so how do the plants grow (UK).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.
---
2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the streets? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
---
3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney. Can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water with
you.
---
4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
---
5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of
places to contact for a stuffed porpoise (Italy)

A: Let's not touch this one.
---
6. Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Australia? Can you
send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?
---
7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific, which
does not...... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross. Come naked!
---
8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A: Face South and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get
here and we'll send you the rest of the directions.
---
9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
---
10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tria is that quaint little country bordering Ger-ma-ny,
which is....
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked!
---
11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)

A: No, WE don't stink !
---
12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of
youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
---
13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)

A: You are a British politician, right?
---
14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
---
15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)

A: only at Christmas.
---
16. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)

A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them !
---
17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all
year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
---
18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can
dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
---
19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop
out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can
scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out
walking.
---
20. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the
girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
---
21. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.


god when will people learn


and yes these are all true!......
__________________
Fear is fake, it was created by humans and serves us no purpose...

The dead travel quickly.....

I wish my grass was an Emo, then it would cut itself.

Last edited by DarkSoul; 09-07-04 at 02:54.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-04   #2
crimsonnyte
A Bit of Luck
 
crimsonnyte's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 9,744
crimsonnyte is on a distinguished road
Credits: 109,389
haha....I was amused.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-04   #3
LivingShadow
Darkness Incarnate
 
LivingShadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,635
LivingShadow is on a distinguished road
Credits: 1,179
heh that was a silly minute of reading
__________________
*some deep, emotional, poetry type stuff here*
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-04   #4
Wicked Lady
A Motherfuckin' Chainsaw
AdminGuide
 
Wicked Lady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Djibouti
Posts: 19,302
Wicked Lady is on a distinguished road
Credits: 654,445
Of course they're dumb questions to you, as you live in Australia. It's not so for other people that might not be so well-versed about different parts of the world. For instance, I'm from the American South. I get asked questions by people that AREN'T from here.. and have never been here. Such as "Do you people really think you won the Civil War?"... To ME that's an idiotic question. But to the person asking it, it's totally valid. Stupidity is in the eye of the beholder.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-04   #5
surreal
.
 
surreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 4,919
surreal is on a distinguished road
Credits: 105,127
5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of
places to contact for a stuffed porpoise (Italy)

A: Let's not touch this one.

i laughed really hard there. mostly cuz i don't know what the italian was getting at, at all.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-04   #6
Phage
Masticator
 
Phage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Currently Indonesia.
Posts: 3,059
Phage is on a distinguished road
Credits: 39,818
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wicked Lady
Of course they're dumb questions to you, as you live in Australia. It's not so for other people that might not be so well-versed about different parts of the world. For instance, I'm from the American South. I get asked questions by people that AREN'T from here.. and have never been here. Such as "Do you people really think you won the Civil War?"... To ME that's an idiotic question. But to the person asking it, it's totally valid. Stupidity is in the eye of the beholder.
Some of those are forgivable, but honestly, the first one "I've never seen it rain there on Tv, so how do the plants grow?"? I don't understand how anyone could have thought of asking that.
__________________
Have you not learned from the corpses of your bretheren?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-04   #7
Crypt
___
 
Crypt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Canada
Posts: 9,296
Crypt is on a distinguished road
Credits: 132,985
reminds me of the time i got asked by an American if i lived in an Igloo.
__________________
You can look at it as a metaphor for the fleeting nature of human life, or just chalk it up to my being a sick, bloodthirsty monster. Either way, it's all the same.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person

" It is easier to write words on water then to try to use argument on a christian"
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-04   #8
Phage
Masticator
 
Phage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Currently Indonesia.
Posts: 3,059
Phage is on a distinguished road
Credits: 39,818
Where do you live? Antarctic?
__________________
Have you not learned from the corpses of your bretheren?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-04   #9
Crypt
___
 
Crypt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Canada
Posts: 9,296
Crypt is on a distinguished road
Credits: 132,985
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
__________________
You can look at it as a metaphor for the fleeting nature of human life, or just chalk it up to my being a sick, bloodthirsty monster. Either way, it's all the same.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person

" It is easier to write words on water then to try to use argument on a christian"
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-04   #10
sixxx(sic)six
satanic teddybear
 
sixxx(sic)six's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Under your bed with a very sharp knife...and nekkid!
Posts: 14,741
sixxx(sic)six is on a distinguished road
Credits: 395,024
hahahahahaha......funny, funny.....i liked the one about the hippo races
__________________
I was masturbating
just contemplating
the color of suicide
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-04   #11
Synikul
fucking jackass
 
Synikul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: in the past
Posts: 4,398
Synikul is on a distinguished road
Credits: 117,776
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wicked Lady
Of course they're dumb questions to you, as you live in Australia. It's not so for other people that might not be so well-versed about different parts of the world. For instance, I'm from the American South. I get asked questions by people that AREN'T from here.. and have never been here. Such as "Do you people really think you won the Civil War?"... To ME that's an idiotic question. But to the person asking it, it's totally valid. Stupidity is in the eye of the beholder.
Did you put confederate flag, and NASCAR #3 decals in the back window of your pick up truck to hide your gun rack from view?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-04   #12
Wicked Lady
A Motherfuckin' Chainsaw
AdminGuide
 
Wicked Lady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Djibouti
Posts: 19,302
Wicked Lady is on a distinguished road
Credits: 654,445
I don't have a #3. I didn't like Earnhardt. I have a #15 sticker.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-04   #13
crimsonnyte
A Bit of Luck
 
crimsonnyte's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 9,744
crimsonnyte is on a distinguished road
Credits: 109,389
heeheehee...yea...
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-04   #14
sixxx(sic)six
satanic teddybear
 
sixxx(sic)six's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Under your bed with a very sharp knife...and nekkid!
Posts: 14,741
sixxx(sic)six is on a distinguished road
Credits: 395,024
what about bud jr.? you like bud jr? of course you do....all the honey's do.....
__________________
I was masturbating
just contemplating
the color of suicide
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-04   #15
surreal
.
 
surreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 4,919
surreal is on a distinguished road
Credits: 105,127
nick jr is cool too.
that face is pants.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-04   #16
sixxx(sic)six
satanic teddybear
 
sixxx(sic)six's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Under your bed with a very sharp knife...and nekkid!
Posts: 14,741
sixxx(sic)six is on a distinguished road
Credits: 395,024
who the fuck is nick jr?!

what the fuck is pants?!
__________________
I was masturbating
just contemplating
the color of suicide
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-04   #17
surreal
.
 
surreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 4,919
surreal is on a distinguished road
Credits: 105,127
nick jr is for big kids.

pants.. uh.. you..
*backs away*
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-04   #18
sixxx(sic)six
satanic teddybear
 
sixxx(sic)six's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Under your bed with a very sharp knife...and nekkid!
Posts: 14,741
sixxx(sic)six is on a distinguished road
Credits: 395,024
but i'm a big kid!!!!!

*approaches surreal, wearing shorts*
__________________
I was masturbating
just contemplating
the color of suicide
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-04   #19
Wicked Lady
A Motherfuckin' Chainsaw
AdminGuide
 
Wicked Lady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Djibouti
Posts: 19,302
Wicked Lady is on a distinguished road
Credits: 654,445
I like Jr. He's sexxxah. But his daddy was a deeock. I'm all about some Tony Stewart and Michael Waltrip. Yeeeeeeeeehaw, Talladega!
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-04   #20
DarkSoul
CUNT
 
DarkSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 1,397
DarkSoul is on a distinguished road
Credits: 18,896
Some more.....

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during
the Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her
snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from
personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and
father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in
boxing, but none of them really that serious.

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can
expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like
it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC
president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got
eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that,
before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh
my God, what have I just said?"
__________________
Fear is fake, it was created by humans and serves us no purpose...

The dead travel quickly.....

I wish my grass was an Emo, then it would cut itself.

Last edited by DarkSoul; 09-09-04 at 08:41.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Recent Threads
Hey fr0g
10-20-17 02:49
Last post by Dark Messiah
1 Day Ago 12:14
Radical Obama Refuses to...
07-08-09 11:43
Last post by Dark Messiah
1 Day Ago 12:11
Am I a prophet?
1 Day Ago 01:53
Last post by thefr0g
1 Day Ago 09:25
What's up with 2 day...
4 Weeks Ago 05:37
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Day Ago 06:04
You desensitized fucks
03-15-04 02:52
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Day Ago 04:21
What Are you Listening...
03-21-05 07:40
By Cucking Funt
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Day Ago 01:28
Anyone else?
1 Week Ago 23:36
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Day Ago 01:22
Science Disproves...
11-01-10 15:38
by Pahu
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Day Ago 21:57
Darkforum Facebook - How...
03-24-13 14:24
Last post by thefr0g
3 Days Ago 18:05
its so cold
4 Days Ago 05:46
Last post by Sic Simon
4 Days Ago 12:12
Online Users: 61
4 members and 57 guests
dressevening, formingroll, oschichaclyd, promgreen
Most users ever online was 1928, 06-09-15 at 19:20.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0 RC2


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com

© 2006 - 2016 Dark Forum | About Dark Forum | Advertisers | Investors | Legal | A member of the Crowdgather Forum Community