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Old 06-11-06   #1
sorrow
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is it a risk worth taking?

im sure yall have heard this before, so here it is again.

okay there is this girl, katie, that i have known for a while. we both consider each other good friends. she is the only person that i can really talk too, and i for her. even we are dating people, we will go to each other with the problem first before our bf/gf.
recently, we have become much closer, and we both have shared with each other how we feel.
im not goig nto say that she is "the one", but when i am around her this inner joy comes out that i have never felt before, and i have noticed that she is around that she feels safe and secure with me, and she is able to act as herself with no fear of persecution. infact she has said so.
we have never really sat down and talked formally about dating, but it has popped up briefly every once in a while. as of now it is basically my call.
you see right now we have, probably, the perfect friendship as friends. but she and i have had a history of skrewing up our relationships. so what i want to know is...should i date her have somebody to love, but possibly later messing up and lose my best friend. or should we just stay friends?
she has told me that she would love to date me, but she feels the same as on the matter. so she has left it up to me. she knows me to be a smart person, who thinks things through, and finds solutions to problems. honeslty i feel like a dumbass sometimes for not already dating her.
so i ask yall, i feel that by asking yall i can get many different un-biased opinions on the matter.
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Old 06-11-06   #2
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I think seeking un-biased option isn't the way to go. Isn't love a totally biased subject? I think you should just see how it goes, don't push it it any direction, just do what feels right. If you are both seeing other people, then are they going to just go away? You must have some feelings for your girlfriend is that too worth losing? Just be sure to take responsiblity if you screw anyone over.
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Old 06-12-06   #3
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no as of now we both are single, but her last two relationships ened up pretty bad...both of them ended up having sex with other people. so right now she doesnt think that she is capable of having a good relationship (she has some major self-esteem issues).
im not going to say i love her or will love her, because i do not know what love is. i have some things happen to me, so i wouldnt know...but i would do anything for her and i care alot for her, more than i do for anybody else. if that's what love is then maybe.
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Old 06-12-06   #4
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imagine what it could be. and if it doesn't work out you guys are apparently very good friends, if you are as good friends as you say i'm sure you will be able to get over it eventually.
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Old 06-12-06   #5
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hmm i guess yall are right... i'd rather say "i tried" and fail, than not try at all and say 'i wish..."
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Old 06-20-06   #6
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well that does seem like a really hard situation. i would look at all the good causes and the bad causes. that would and could happen when and if the two of you start to date each other. as well as thinking about the pain you would feel if it MIGHT not work out. since that kind of pain would seriously be overwheling and hurtfull. the people who have had an experience with that pain. woud basically know what i'm talking about. i've felt it and basically most of the other people have felt it to.

i don't know. this is your field. if the both of you are fine with it. i think you should go for it. if the both of you aren't fine. i wouldn't go with it

keeping the friendship or losing it? i would think about that a little bit more as well. but if people are serious the way that they say and feel about each other. you would stay with each other no matter what happens. that is how you find out if it's seriously true.
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Old 06-21-06   #7
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It might be glib, but...


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Legitmately, though, if you feel good enough about your prospects to ask, she'll probably say yes. If you don't, she probably won't. This is assuming you have some baseline attractiveness, but most people are looking in a partner for a friend that they can have sex with. If you're friends already, you're halfway there. A little confidence and not being the type of guy that bums her out with a constant stream of self-hate would probably go a long way.

One way or another, just don't be the stalker-in-training guy that drops constant unsubtle hints about how you're madly in love with her and tries to guilttrip or pressure her into a relationship. If you're thinking of expressing anything along the lines of, "I can't live without you", just don't.
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Old 06-24-06   #8
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no im not doing the stalker thing...and i can live without her because i have made it this far, and im sure i can go on.
in the past i have dated just for sex and such, but relationships usually crashed after a week. so for me i figure that shouldnt be the first thing i look for lol. it's just that we have been through alot together and we have been hurt pretty bad before and turned to each other for comfort. as friends we have had some ruff times and we have been able to overcome them.
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