Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions
Home Register FAQ
Go Back   Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions > Welcome > Socialize
Reload this Page Confused and hurting
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-02-02   #1
Bella1
Face in the Mist
 
Bella1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 16
Bella1 is on a distinguished road
Credits: 875
Confused and hurting

Please bear with me.....I'm afraid I have a rather long explanation of the events going on in my life and I hope that SOMEONE will manage to get thru it all and give me some advice or even their opinions.....anyway....here goes....

So....I'm 31 yrs old and have been married for 10 yrs. I've never cheated on my husband and he has never cheated on me. A year ago we decided to try a little experimentation and invited another guy in the bed for a 3some. This person was already somewhat close to me and we had quite an attraction to each other. Needless to say....it all happened in another state and when I came home, I was filled with thoughts of him...I knew that I cared and that he was important to my life. Anyway....a year passes and work brings him back to my town where he now lives...things just sorta picked back up....we all had sex several times. My husband sort of got to where he was a little uncomfortable, afraid that the other man's feelings for me were too strong so we haven't had him join us sexually for months. We do see him on a regular basis since we are also friends but I am closer to him than my husband. He also has a woman in his life but according to him, he is no longer in love with this woman.


The problem of course is the constant feelings I have for this man....I see him and I am happy. He just seems beautiful to me. I am very confused about everything....how I could have allowed myself to feel this way about another man.....how the feelings I once had for my husband have changed and we feel so disconnected....him with his business and me just trying to keep from falling apart.

The worst thing of all is that this man confessed his love to me....told me that he wanted me in his life....that I made all the pain and bad things just fade away when he was with me and I know that I am love with him too.

I feel like I'm on the edge of an abyss.....so ready to jump into the darkness. I don't want to hurt my husband tho but surely just feeling the way I do now about our relationship is hurting him anyway... I don't know....I just feel like I'm fucked!

Someone ....... Help
__________________
Arabella

I await you in the darkness....chilled skin ready to be warmed by your fire.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
at
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #2
Elf
Sweetness & Light
 
Elf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Leeds
Posts: 571
Elf
Credits: 12,498
Well, I'll say what I usually do which is - of course after 10 years with your husband you aren't going to have the excitement that you could have in a new relationship, but how do you know that the new man wouldn't turn out to be a total idiot after 6 months, if you've managed to be happy with your husband for this long (I assume you were happy before this other man came along) there must be something there worth at least trying for before you throw it away for a thrill that may not last.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #3
Billy the banned
Guest
 
Billy the banned's Avatar
 
Posts: n/a
THese feelings for the other guy..theyre not love, its caled infatuation. Its something new and unique after 10 years of the same person your life needed variety, and thats what it got, now your mind is locking on to that. Let this guy go and save your marriage if you love your husband. Bringing someone else into bed was a bad mistake if you couldnt handle the strain it puts on your marriage. bad bad bad.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #4
Bella1
Face in the Mist
 
Bella1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 16
Bella1 is on a distinguished road
Credits: 875
Thank you both for replying. I could see where the lure of excitement might be part of it but you don't understand....I was somewhat happy before BUT my husband is a web designer and graphic artist....he spends 24/7 on the comp and has no time for me or our kids. The feelings were fading simply because of that....it's very sad but true.

Yes...It very well could be infatuation but I am no child to be easily swayed by pretend emotions....this is something I have thought long and hard on, searched my heart. I think I'm truly lost.

Oh and Billy the KIdd.....some would say that inviting the other was a bad idea but what am I supposed to do? My husband wants other women in bed with him and I'm supposed to deal with it.
__________________
Arabella

I await you in the darkness....chilled skin ready to be warmed by your fire.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
at
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #5
Billy the banned
Guest
 
Billy the banned's Avatar
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally posted by Bella
Thank you both for replying. I could see where the lure of excitement might be part of it but you don't understand....I was somewhat happy before BUT my husband is a web designer and graphic artist....he spends 24/7 on the comp and has no time for me or our kids. The feelings were fading simply because of that....it's very sad but true.

Yes...It very well could be infatuation but I am no child to be easily swayed by pretend emotions....this is something I have thought long and hard on, searched my heart. I think I'm truly lost.

Oh and Billy the KIdd.....some would say that inviting the other was a bad idea but what am I supposed to do? My husband wants other women in bed with him and I'm supposed to deal with it.
Have you took other women to bed then?
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #6
Bella1
Face in the Mist
 
Bella1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 16
Bella1 is on a distinguished road
Credits: 875
Haven't quite had the opportunity yet.......the only reason a man came first is cuz we just sorta fell into it....he was a friend and got into different stuff like that. Maybe it is infatuation...I don't know...but if it is then I'm afraid it's the strongest infatuation that I"ve ever felt. It's wierd really..... the pull of him is very very strong.
__________________
Arabella

I await you in the darkness....chilled skin ready to be warmed by your fire.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
at
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #7
Billy the banned
Guest
 
Billy the banned's Avatar
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally posted by Bella
Haven't quite had the opportunity yet.......the only reason a man came first is cuz we just sorta fell into it....he was a friend and got into different stuff like that. Maybe it is infatuation...I don't know...but if it is then I'm afraid it's the strongest infatuation that I"ve ever felt. It's wierd really..... the pull of him is very very strong.
Maybe you should even the score up and bring another woman in that he will like.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #8
Elf
Sweetness & Light
 
Elf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Leeds
Posts: 571
Elf
Credits: 12,498
If you have kids as well, then I just stick by what I said earlier even more I'm afraid. Why don't you tell your husband that you feel he's drifting away from you due to work instead of us on the net? And if you're not comfortable with the idea of other women in bed then don't do it, simple as that surely?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #9
Billy the banned
Guest
 
Billy the banned's Avatar
 
Posts: n/a
I dont know how people can do that especially if theyre married or in a commited relationship, i dont care if it spices up your love life, hell get into S&M or maybe blood play or something, dont spoil your bed with infidelity. Man... i cant even bear the thought of me kissing another woman if i was in a commited relationship. Let alone her actually havin sex with someone other than me. It lterally makes me feel ill, and all wierded out. you guys need to figure this out. Just so you know though, youre playing with fire with this, is throwing away your husband of 10 years really worth an infatuation thats only as strong as it is because youve been tied down for the last 10 years? And Elf is right...you seriously need to talk to your hubby, straying in your mind is just as good a cheating in a hotel...whats the next stop?
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #10
Elf
Sweetness & Light
 
Elf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Leeds
Posts: 571
Elf
Credits: 12,498
heh heh I find me and billy always agree on the advice forum and disagree on most everything else

I don't mean to sound uncaring but it's advice to anyone else looking at your situation that if you wanted to just spice up your married sex life, then you shouldn't have used someone you were already attracted to and close to, that was asking for trouble!
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #11
Bella1
Face in the Mist
 
Bella1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 16
Bella1 is on a distinguished road
Credits: 875
Quote:
Why don't you tell your husband that you feel he's drifting away from you due to work instead of us on the net? And if you're not comfortable with the idea of other women in bed then don't do it, simple as that surely?

Yes...that's the sad thing...I have told him and it doesn't seem to matter. I have been trying to reach him but to no avail...and I'm tired and seek happiness and love

I'm sure it's hard for others to understand...not having been in this type of situation. I have no problems with a woman in bed too...just haven't found the opportunity yet. I would give that to him if i could. As far as other things to spice up our lives...been there done that and have the bondage sheets to prove it.

Granted....it probably would have been wiser to find a man I wasnt' close to but you must understand that I have known this man in several lives....we have a connection and sometimes those things are hard to ignore.
__________________
Arabella

I await you in the darkness....chilled skin ready to be warmed by your fire.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
at
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #12
Billy the banned
Guest
 
Billy the banned's Avatar
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally posted by Bella

but you must understand that I have known this man in several lives....we have a connection and sometimes those things are hard to ignore.
ahh, so this is gonna be where i stop replying to this thread now.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #13
errantrogue
which one, though?
 
errantrogue's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: The Mesa... pondering redemption
Posts: 20,202
errantrogue is on a distinguished road
Credits: 288,983
and where i enter for a brief moment to say:

"aaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaa"
__________________
___Nick_the_Rogue___

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
"But this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy." L.G.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #14
Damian Hell
The Dark Helmet.
 
Damian Hell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: in places...
Posts: 4,294
Damian Hell is on a distinguished road
Credits: 75,003
...joins the laughter frenzy in a copious orgy of amusement… indeed confused .. and with no wonder hurting … for such inquisitive venture .. which must have you truly fucked in more ways that I could possibly devise !
__________________
You know you wanna do it!
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-02   #15
Metagion
Judgement At Last!
 
Metagion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Providence, RI
Posts: 7,508
Metagion will become famous soon enough
Credits: 114,754
Bella~

PM me....I can offer you my 2 cents.
__________________
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-02   #16
ArcaneScarlette
Lifted
 
ArcaneScarlette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Mi
Posts: 133
ArcaneScarlette
Credits: 7,009
geez you people sure are nice to each other,why make fun of someone elses problem?anywho enough of my bitching...

I can understand that 3somes seem like a fun idea-i've been there done that and probably will do it again. I however am not married, and think you and your husband both should have talked more about the outcome of what would happen after you all get busy with this guy. I do not in any way advocate staying in a dead end marrige though with someone you are falling out of love with. If he's too dumb or lazy to see that you are unhappy then he doesn't deserve you as a wife. He needs to get off th computar and make a conscience effort to aid you in salvaging your marrige. maybe some therapy or something mite help but why stay with someone if youre unhappy?

but that's just my opnion

good luck to you
__________________
"The truth is rarely pure and never simple"-Oscar Wilde
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Recent Threads
Snakes are gonna take...
4 Weeks Ago 22:15
Last post by Baphamett
1 Day Ago 17:32
If you've never heard of...
05-03-18 18:00
Last post by Baphamett
1 Day Ago 17:28
Spent my last dollar on...
5 Days Ago 13:27
Last post by Baphamett
1 Day Ago 17:26
I Got Da' News Baby!
2 Days Ago 21:10
Last post by Baphamett
2 Days Ago 21:10
Darkforum Youtube!
03-25-13 07:48
Last post by fahip
1 Week Ago 04:38
sup oezoem we mished you
12-13-17 21:02
Last post by Oezoem
2 Weeks Ago 21:11
What Are you Listening...
03-21-05 06:40
By Cucking Funt
Last post by Oezoem
3 Weeks Ago 23:41
So apparently it's World...
4 Weeks Ago 21:33
by thefr0g
Last post by thefr0g
3 Weeks Ago 22:25
Did Trump Trump Trump's...
3 Weeks Ago 18:47
Last post by Dark Messiah
3 Weeks Ago 21:30
Online Users: 67
0 members and 67 guests
No Members online
Most users ever online was 1928, 06-09-15 at 18:20.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0 RC2


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com

© 2006 - 2016 Dark Forum | About Dark Forum | Advertisers | Investors | Legal | A member of the Crowdgather Forum Community