Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions
Home Register FAQ
Go Back   Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions > Welcome > Socialize
Reload this Page missing the begining, not understanding the end
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-07-04   #101
Barely Breathing
Pocket size pocket
 
Barely Breathing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: </^\>
Posts: 7,796
Barely Breathing will become famous soon enough
Credits: 201,964
shameful actions. sorry, didn't think i would have to watch my English around YOU
__________________
May Angels Lead You In
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-04   #102
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
you don thave ot watch anything around me........
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-04   #103
Barely Breathing
Pocket size pocket
 
Barely Breathing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: </^\>
Posts: 7,796
Barely Breathing will become famous soon enough
Credits: 201,964
damn right... but i would still like too
__________________
May Angels Lead You In
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-04   #104
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
poo....oh well, i have a little gift for a special little brother i have to work on. have to make this song count, and good.

talk to you all in a little while, and if i dont, dont worry...there will be other days....
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-04   #105
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
i think ill make the song in goo goo dolls drop d, d tunning. might be interesting, or maybe some drop half step standard.....hehe.

i have so many ideas for this little poem, thank you kyle for the chance to work on this peice........
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-04   #106
Barely Breathing
Pocket size pocket
 
Barely Breathing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: </^\>
Posts: 7,796
Barely Breathing will become famous soon enough
Credits: 201,964
i love googoo...
__________________
May Angels Lead You In
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-04   #107
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
a girl named goo......lol
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-04   #108
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
well, isnt this lovely. first my weekend gets shit on. then i get shit on. then to top the whole fucking ting off, people are mad at me for listening to them and trying to move on.... exscuse me, should i have went down on them, or mayeb fucked them first. makew it fair and sporting. im so fed up of being put on the back burner while yoyu do what you want. you wanyt to do your thing, fine. i am not trying to give you shit. so you did what you did, fine, nothing i can do will change that fact or make me feel any better. but calling me a hypocrite is suposed to what. make me feel worse about trying to feel loved, or even payed attention to. exscuse me for not waiting for you like you already proved you could never do for me. why dont i just finish myself off. make everyone happy. here, and in life. my family doesnt care. my mother saw my cuts and all she had to say was, maybe you should talk to grama about getting help. so i talk to gram. gram wont help me, im not her problem anymore.

once again, exscuse fucking me. why doesnt everyone in this fucking hellhole just tell me to deal with everyhting myself. why cant they just write me off as a fucking casualty of birth. im sure adrian and her family would love to forget me. god damnit.... yah, im fucking bitching agian. no matter what i do, or how hard i fucking try i get shit. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck, so i asked someone out. i was lonely and desperate. i turned them down for you, while you were on your fucking knees pleasing them. why not make me feel worse for everyhting i have ever done. why not bring up the fact of my grams...... i dont feel guilty enough about that. or how about mauira and chelsea, why dont we bring them up agian. fuck...... i know i suck as amperson, so tellmme to kill myself, tell m eto piss off, tell me somwthing...............

i get piss. nothing in this hell hole but loneliness and starvation. my brother does drugs, and everyhting else to get himself in trouble. he has been suspended and expelled form so many schools i cant even fucking count them all, but lets all look at fran like the fucking black sheep. just commit me, kill me, finish my fucking emotions off...please....

I CANT BE HAPPY, AND I SUR AS HELL AM NOT GETTING OVER ANY OF THIS. GOD DAMNIT. all i want is happiness, but i cant even have minute mpoments of pleasure. the one thing in this world that meant more to me than life itself just wants nothing to do with me...nothing but make me feel worthless and shity. im sorry, im so fucking sorry you'll never even know. your family hates me with good reason. i dont want to curse you with my presence tomarow, or any other day. be happy with your freshman and friends. you can have them. you can have it all. if i cant be happy, why shoud,i evben try right? im onnly gonna make myself feel like shuit.......... fuck.....

why dont i just grow some balls and fucking off myself? why dont i. do you know why, cause everyday i wake up and convince myself that someone loves me in this hell. somebody has been in love with me since day one..,...... mayeb adrian will forgive me and i will be able to be in her arms once more.... but no. letter after letter, and apology after apology, what does it get me? nothing but more loneliness.... hatred fro everyhting and anythinga nd loneliness....

karl, karl, karl......im so glad this mommas boy has everything handed to him like my brother. why wont my family buy me things or try to keep me happy. should i do drugs and threaten to kill people, and then maybe i wil be taken care of for the first time in my life. i dont give afuck if karl is getting the equestrian badge or not. why doesnt he just burn in hell like oeveryother using asswhole i ever met in my life. scumbag. why dont you try and fuck my ex next time and just do the job riht ass hole. how about you call her back next time you decide to make yourself happy at her expence. i dont know who i am mnore pissed at now. her for doing it, or him for treating her like shit. i cant go five minuytes withought thinking who's fault it realy is....its mine. its my fault/. there you happy, you can all feel better now, i know it was me.

i fucked up, and drove you away ointo karls arms. i made you miserable everywaking day of your life. i made you rethink the way you did things, and for what. so i could break your heart. i heard you say it, i heard you say you didnt love me..... your family hates me.... and non eof you even know why i gave up on school... it pisses me off that i had to give this up. i hope those sons-a-bitches here in this township are reading this. i hope they can all see it. i hope they try and kill me like they threatened to do. what the fuck do i care. you ruined my life, my happiness and my only means of education. sure, i signed up for nightschool, but what the fuck good is that gonna do me. i already lost everyhting that counts. i should of said something right then and there so they would kill me. i want to die..



I WANT TO DIE, NO LONGER BREATHE OR WALK ON THIS EARTHLY REALM. I WISH FOR IT EVERYMORNING, AND I PREY FOR IT EVERYNIGHT. I WISH JUST ONCE, WHEN I WAS DRAGGING THE RAZOR ACCORSS MY SKIN IT WOULD PUNCTURE DEEP ENOUGH OT BLEED ME WHILE I SLEEP. NO TREATMENT, NO HELP, JUST END.........PLEASE! PLEASE.

i am saying all of this and i will get more hell than sympathy. thank you. i dont want any of you pansy ass bitches feeling sorry for me, or even wishing me good. everytime one of you people pretending to car wish me good i get one step closer to death. i have tried for 4 years to make myself get over my fathers death, and what good did that do? nothing. it did shit. i went to doctors, and they did shit. my family treats me like nothing, and so do the people that swear up and down that they love me. love me so much you couldnt wait. love me so much you went behind my back. love me so much you couldnt wait one more day. you couldnt hold out one more day, or even try to explain things right. make things better.

no, i cant blame her. i cant blame him, i cant blame anyone else but me.... im the one with the problem, and its good i am alone all the itme. i would hate to think i would flip out and hrt someone else././/////......








*the gap begins*
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-04   #109
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
anyone else think i need therapy, or maybe i shold just kil myself. i cant now. my family took away al my weapons. blades, razors, everything. i dont even have my walking stick anymore. they dont want me to die..they love me....fuck you. fuck you all. why dont you tak eyour love and get a fucking job. why dont you work and keep me happy. why must i do everything myself. why do i have to bust my ass.....

adrian, if you read my last and it upset you, please, feel free to slap me tomarow. i will understand you not even acknoledging my existence. if you truly wish, tell your mother i am not going, and when i call in the morning, if she asks i will tell her no. im staying home. seeking therapy.

i wont call after that. i wont bother you. i am rethinking the hypotherapist though. it owuld be healthier for me to do that than to sulk everywaking day.

i want to love you. i want to be with you. i asked beth out because you told me about you and karl. what was i suppose to do? you moved on with jimmy, and i understand that too. i was merely making a point that im not a hypocrite, i just wanna be happy agian. obviously no matter how hard i try, i am never gonna have you back in my arms, and if i wait a year, ill be forced to count how many arms you have been in. i will never truly feel the same. you are not dirty, and this is not your fault. i am not blaming you for any of this. i am not blaming karl. i am not blaming any of you. i know it was all me. i know it. i know it, i know it, i know it.......

i cant breathe when i think about you. everything we have been through. sharing that most intimate of days, and all our adventures. the pagan festival, the day in the tunnel. and before any of that, one of the most memorable events in my life.... when i first saw you.. you, beautifull with your head in your notebook, writing down all your little experiences. dressed in that wierd ass outfit, and me trying to talk to you. and then around 6 months later, our first kiss.... i am crying thinking about these things, because i kow i wil never again share them with you.. by now, who knows. you probably dont care anymore, and are only reading this to come up with something mean and witty at the end, or maybe you wont say a word. i dont know which i would rather you do. forget me, or just leave me alone....

if i could i would wish neither, but once again, i have done all the decision making i can do for this lifetime...at least for this time anyway. im sure your all right, and in a while when i calm down, snap out of this rut and move on more stable i will be happy.... but then again, all you know about me is my love for you..........

nevermind, i am speaking to a deaf chorus..... i will merely pear into the glass once in a while, and maybe get over this whole thing one day. i hope one day i can look back and laugh at all of this, although very hard to say so with a straight face....

adrian, i realy do wish the best for you. and for your brother. i hope he moves on and forgets me, like i know one day you will. i hope he likes the next better, and maybe he wont screw up.......

goodbye my love, or at least goodnight................
i wont call anymore.


francis thomas pietrowski
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-04   #110
Barely Breathing
Pocket size pocket
 
Barely Breathing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: </^\>
Posts: 7,796
Barely Breathing will become famous soon enough
Credits: 201,964
oh christ fran, i dont care that you asked them out, i'm fucking pissed that you gave me shit about everything i did!
__________________
May Angels Lead You In
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-04   #111
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
for some odd reason, its not leting me edit it now....ill try agian soon.

well, i went to the venture church thing..(actualy scout sunday) it was ok, except that i got real lonely sitting by myself in the front with all those kids. i was so affraid of everyone in the church seeing my arm, i was trying so hard to cover it up. i turned around ocasionaly to look at adrian, all horrified she was in a church, but a catholic church is what did it. last time i saw her like that was when i was in the ld st. lukes play freshman year.....(funny memory)

i wanted to hold her hand, but it wasnt the same. i thought i was getting through to her family today, but i wasnt. it was like i wasnt there, and i wasnt. i was only a breathe waiting for the chance to leave...... and i did. i went to my grams. that was fun. i went in and made myself comphy. i fell asleep and hen before i could do, or say anything i was getting bitched at, and she actualy called me a "loser". me, ME! fuck her.

well, now i am back home, and hungry, and wishing i was still at dri's trying to make things better, maybe holding her. i was so close to just trying to kiss her....but i guess it was a god thing i didnt. actualy, it was a bad thing i didnt, but i would just feel bad when i realized that that is as far as it was going to go for a long time...........

__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-04   #112
Barely Breathing
Pocket size pocket
 
Barely Breathing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: </^\>
Posts: 7,796
Barely Breathing will become famous soon enough
Credits: 201,964
A friggen catholic church! And I have to start me god and life crap! I HAVE TO PRETEND TO GIVE A DAMN!
Catholics are strange strange people.
__________________
May Angels Lead You In
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-04   #113
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
ugh.....one day i will wake up and open my eyes to a world i left behind. and on that day i will call, and everyhting will be alright. so soon that day i wish to pass, but alas, it has yet to be......

ugh.....ugh.....ugh......ugh.....
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-04   #114
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
i forgot to type,

"goodbye"

there, now that little poem is done..
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-04   #115
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
well, my mood yesterday went to hell. good thing steve was around to calm me down.

i get a call from my ex, and she is acusing me of sleeping with this fat bitch that ruined my life willingly, a 2nd time. i didnt know how to react, i was caught off guard. i told her the truth though, and i still dont think she believes me, but i guess i will find out. i have been working on trying to get this relationship back in order, even if i have to deal with her doing other things with other guys, i still want to be with her.

some people closest to us both say she actualy doesnt want to be with me. just playing head games again, and that she brags about how happy she is withought me, being single is great for her. well, i hope thier telling the truth, and i hope she is happier. if she is playing head games and wishes not to ever be with me again, seriously, then she should tell me.

other than that mess, i have been sitting in my room till now thinking about things. i am so rag headed right now, i am soaking up every bit of hurt and it just never goes away. my grandmother called me a loser infront of my brother and cousin. please! look around bitch!!

i tried to write a new song last night, but i think it sounds alittle to metallica-ish meets perfect drug in the intro part.....ill work on that though.lol.

well, no more to say so i will let this one get posted and then edit some things, or try to.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-04   #116
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
well, bans there isnt much else to do during the day i am taking up my rpg again. only now on a different site. i am going to a place called

www.deadlygames.org

its pretty cool, but its confusing and doesnt explain things very well. its a good thing i know what i am doing or i would be confused as hell. the options are to vague, and the play is so little. there is almost no one on there at all, and most are nothing more than power high vampires on heroin.....why cant people worry more about thier character creation instead of thier abilities in strength and age.......power is not everyhting.

anyway, waiting for people to get home from school so we can talk and shit, other than that im pretty bored.

its cold as hell in my house. i am wearing three layers and still have a chill. its either i am realy cold, or realy sick...fun fun.
a little confused about my ex's mothers actions the other day, and i sont know......blah. i guess i will have ot deal with that thought on my own huh?

well, talk ot you later.....fran
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-04   #117
Ice_Devil_Girl
Misguided Youth
 
Ice_Devil_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Nowhere...
Posts: 256
Ice_Devil_Girl
Credits: 6,797
hello, it all looks so deep and meaningful in here. im glad someone has made good use of their journal. xx
__________________
~~~
*Fuck Integrity*



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Its become apparent
In my head, the little machine
In the light, I'm quite transparent
In the dark, I'm such a dream
There are two sides to me
Sometimes I set the evil one free
Cause I'm in love with the devil
And she's in love with me....
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-04   #118
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
why thank you!
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-04   #119
Ice_Devil_Girl
Misguided Youth
 
Ice_Devil_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Nowhere...
Posts: 256
Ice_Devil_Girl
Credits: 6,797
lol ur welcome
__________________
~~~
*Fuck Integrity*



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Its become apparent
In my head, the little machine
In the light, I'm quite transparent
In the dark, I'm such a dream
There are two sides to me
Sometimes I set the evil one free
Cause I'm in love with the devil
And she's in love with me....
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-04   #120
dark_duqualle
a little clos'r to home
 
dark_duqualle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: a couch or a van, depends on level of alchohol in body
Posts: 1,736
dark_duqualle is on a distinguished road
Credits: 72,546
~stares at ice devil girl~

(prrrrrrrrr)

i dont know, now i am getting goofy....lol
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Recent Threads
Hey fr0g
4 Weeks Ago 02:49
Last post by thefr0g
4 Hours Ago 16:57
Put your liter of cola...
08-06-17 20:53
Last post by Dark Messiah
22 Hours Ago 23:09
What Are you Listening...
03-21-05 07:40
By Cucking Funt
Last post by Sic Simon
3 Days Ago 22:56
Obama sends a letter.
4 Weeks Ago 22:42
Last post by Sic Simon
3 Days Ago 22:28
My doctor
5 Days Ago 00:29
Last post by Sic Simon
4 Days Ago 21:27
How Do I Access the...
03-17-07 22:48
Last post by Sic Simon
5 Days Ago 01:55
vote or die
10-07-17 02:56
Last post by Sic Simon
5 Days Ago 00:06
Science Disproves...
11-01-10 15:38
by Pahu
Last post by Pahu
6 Days Ago 10:45
long Sunday
09-24-17 19:00
by DaxterK
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 21:20
Ask me a question game
12-13-02 18:13
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 21:14
Online Users: 73
0 members and 73 guests
No Members online
Most users ever online was 1928, 06-09-15 at 19:20.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0 RC2


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com

© 2006 - 2016 Dark Forum | About Dark Forum | Advertisers | Investors | Legal | A member of the Crowdgather Forum Community