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Old 03-18-07   #1
New Blood
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As life moves on for me

I'm new to these forums. I joined looking for new people to talk to, and opportunities to express who I am.

I'm 15. I live in Cambridgeshire, East England, in a city called Peterborough.

My past...

When I was 11, I started smoking pot soon after I started Secondary education. I got into a lot of fights at school, I messed around in class, did some outrageous things (i.e. Lighting up joints in middle of class, student strikes, and organised pranks). I was the most popular person in a huge school, everyone knew my name, it was so awesome. But then, I couldn't be bothered to go anymore, and so I went to live with my dad who supplied me with drugs, and my life turned into hell. I went from hundreds of friends to no friends. For two years I was physically abused. My dad is about 6 and a half ft tall, was a body builder and weighed about 15 stone, takes on the appearance of a Viking, or perhaps something worse. Since the day he tried to kill me, and I attacked him, I've lived back with my Mother.

In the last 5 years I've been heart broken 6 times, and I'll never forget the first... I knew a girl my whole life, although we only became friends before I started Secondary school. We were both happy that we were finally friends. She was small and petite, long dark brown hair to her waist, and she was beautiful. When I moved into my dad's house, I realised I was in love with her, and for a year of being a nervous wreck on drugs and going through hell, staying up all night and going to sleep in the morning of which lasted for months at a time, I don't think many minutes ever went by where I wasn't thinking of her. Somewhere, I found the courage to go see her; perhaps I was just sick of feeling ill about it. But when I saw her face... I was over her. I had seen her again with my own two eyes, and so the longing of wanting to see her again, which my love for her was made up of, was gone.

As of now...

I met a girl on the internet last year, who lives on the other side of the world. She's two years older than me, but we're both unidenticle twins, with hateful siblings. Her birthday's 3 days before mine, she's four mins older than her sibling, as am I, and 2 months premature, as am I. Needless to say, we share a lot in common. We had been dating since December 2006, I was hugely in love with her and my wish came true when we decided to be together. But now I've left her. Her Mother was paying for me, in a few months time, to go to New Zealand to stay with her for 2 months, but I decided against it.

For too long now I've felt love just in my mind, and my mind is a dangerous thing, I've been insane. For every time I've felt love, it's been from my heart being broken, I never had chance to be happy, I don't remember the last time that I was. Love that filled me with hope soon turned bereft, my mind was playing tricks on me. I'd been in love with someone for too long, going everyday of my life thinking of her in every single second, my mind caved in. Although so close to meeting her, I found a girl here, close to home who says she loves me, says I listen to her and care about her, and after she left her boyfriend to be with me, I did the same. And so now I want to pick up pieces of my broken life, as opposed to being with Melany where I just hope things will turn better for me.

Thank you for reading.

Eternal feels the time, but the only true love will remain.
Darkness shall rise up to Heaven to embrace the last, final prayer.
'Cause the grace of his words once spoken, are now shattered with a promise broken.

Last edited by OneWingedAngel; 03-18-07 at 14:07.
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Old 03-28-07   #2
Dark Phoenix
Face in the Mist
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Virginia
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Wow. What a life you've lived?! But, your past is your past. It can only
make you stronger in the end.
It is easier to resist at the beginning
Than at the end.
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