why do people say they love you only to turn around and walk away?? - Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions

RogueStorm · 05-06-02

hi... don't know why i'm even posting since no one on the board even knows me, i'm just another random face that occassinaly posts (and yes i can't spell). but if there is one thing in the world that i would like someone to tell me, why would you tell someone you love them, convince them of that, and then leave them? my boyfriend, ex boyfriend, i don't even know, is breaking up with me. i had to hear from my best friend, though i could tell from him blowing me off all weekend to hang out with my other ex? best friend. we had dated for about 6 months, then broke up because we were fighitng all the time. i was lost without him, yes i am totally pathetic, but he just went out, fooled around with my bestfriend (the ex one) and alot of other girls. yet stupid here decided that our love could make it when he came over to talk, and we got back together. that day said ex best friend ( i didn't know about them yet) was upset and my bf? asked her to go out with us. since then its been a little rocky but i thought we got over it. i hoped so... but he kept blowing me off. i don't know what to think. but i really wish he would talk to me so i can at least hear it from his own lips. sorry for the ramble, but why would anyone do that? isn't one person enough to love? grr... sorry, you can ignore my rant if you want ::sad little smile::

RogueStorm · 05-06-02

sorry, one more thing to go along with my rant, why do people go through so much shit and still continue to love those that hurt them?

RedMeat · 05-06-02

Quote:

Originally posted by RogueStorm
sorry, one more thing to go along with my rant, why do people go through so much shit and still continue to love those that hurt them?

Fear that they are "the one" (crap) or the only person capable of loving them or that they deserve it somehow(also crap).Its a measure of emotional dependancy however small it might be.

This guy isnt considerate in the least maybe its partly to do with his age or general maturity level but thats just one theory not an excuse for being a ass.

Duddy · 05-06-02

Let me put it this way. My last relationship: We were incredibly in love, and dated for well over a year, and decided that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Well, I went out and spent $1400 on the PERFECT engagement ring, and a week later she dumped me. I found out she had also cheated on me a few times.

I had a 'fling' around a month ago. I met someone who I thought was just incredible, and she could do no wrong. She flirted with me constantly, and everyone told me she liked me. So I finally asked her out. She said yes. And then she completely ignored me for 3 days and then broke up with me. She said she didn't like me like that.

In short, you can almost never rely on people, nor trust them. But if you don't trust people and rely on them at least on occassion, your life will probably suck asshole. So end the end, we all get hurt. Sorry to hear, we're all here for you. And I'm not trying to sound like an ass when I say this, it's just the truth: Prepare yourself, because you will be hurt many more times in the future. It's just one of those things about life, ya know.

tisha19 · 05-07-02

Quote:

Originally posted by RedMeat
Fear that they are "the one" (crap) or the only person capable of loving them or that they deserve it somehow(also crap).Its a measure of emotional dependancy however small it might be.

This guy isnt considerate in the least maybe its partly to do with his age or general maturity level but thats just one theory not an excuse for being a ass.

I agree with you completely, Thats how I was with my ex. I believed him when he said he was the only one that would even want to be with me. I took him back more times then I can count, no matter what he dad to fuck up in the first place. But with the help of a certain someone, I stopped taking him back, and stopped thinking that I wasn't good enought for any one else.

But yea sweetie, you are going to get hurt a lot, you just have to deal with it.

And Red, you are a very wise person. *hugs*

thefinalw0rd · 05-07-02

The word love I find is tossed around all too easy.

But this guy was clearly an asshole. I know I would never pull anything like that. But I have had my share of bad relationships.

Like this one girl, we liked each other for a while, we both knew it, talked about it. Well, she finally broke up with her boyfriend at the time. After a little bit, we went out. We broke up within that same day, she didn't talk to me for the entire day. We barely talk now. And we were good friends before this.

I knew that relationships between friends can be fucked up, but that was pretty strange.

SirVLCIV · 05-07-02

tisha, men like that are the only ones that incite true violent anger in me.

I love Selena. I do, and I trust her completely, COMPLETELY.

I don't know what I can say to help... there are decent folk out there... you just have to find them.

thefinalw0rd · 05-08-02

Having been fucked with by girls before, sometime its harder to build that trust.

But with my girlfriend right now, I'm getting there. I really am. It takes a little time, but it hasn't been that long yet. I know she cares, I know how I feel, and we're very happy.

Just be careful of people like this...it may be hard to figure out those who will do that to you, but you can do it mostly. The look in their eyes helps...at least on girls it does...

That sounds quite cliche, I know...but its true...

SirVLCIV · 05-08-02

I agree.

Of course, I'm always the more mischievously controlling (messing with the mind) usually... except... wow; I've never loved like this before.

I was betrayed once. I was 12. I'm a bit better now

. The only thing that really irks me is when a chick falls for me, and I really don't like her all that much, and my fricking "nice guy" syndrome (which I'm thankfully losing some of it; I was called an asshole today! The FIRST time ever! half jest, half real, but still! ok... I shouldn't be happy, but meh; I can't stand thinking about others' emotions so much) and I have this damned thinking that I should be nice to her. Meh.

Anyway... about the eyes thing, I agree. I think really, the problem a lot of times is that one refuses to believe their loved is going to hurt them... you must be honest with yourself.

Tainted Soul · 05-09-02

Well, my g/f and I just broke up last Saturday. She said it was because that she was afraid that she was going to get bored of me. Strange...that's the same reason why I was scared to be in the relationship, I was scared she was going to get bored of me. *shrugs*

tisha19 · 05-09-02

Quote:

Originally posted by SirVLCIV
tisha, men like that are the only ones that incite true violent anger in me.

I love Selena. I do, and I trust her completely, COMPLETELY.

I don't know what I can say to help... there are decent folk out there... you just have to find them.

Well thank you Sir. I'm glad that you have someone.

I hope I find a decent one sooner or later, well the truth is I have found someone, it just happens to be someone I can't have...

thefinalw0rd · 05-09-02

Yes, I know the feeling of the Nice-Guy-Curse. I'm actually getting over it too...

Quote:

Anyway... about the eyes thing, I agree. I think really, the problem a lot of times is that one refuses to believe their loved is going to hurt them... you must be honest with yourself.

It really is true...I just look into her eyes, and I know that we have something very special and different. I can relate, SirVLCIV. Its amazing.

With other girls when we fell on the bad times, it was easy to see that they weren't "in it." I'd guess that it would work on guys as well, but I wouldn't know. It can be hard to know without being paranoid. And I'm getting over my paranoia.

HeinousSoul · 05-09-02

Hope is what always kicks you in the ass, you know deep down they are betraying you but you keep hoping that they will change, the situation will change, or that you are overreacting...non of which is the case and i agree with what was earlier said, you have to be true to yourself...let reality in a lil bit. About why ppl say they love some one and then walk away..there are many reasons why one would do this..1.) they just said it to get a piece of ass..2.)they thought they did but didnt exactly know what love was, then when they realized that it was love..well...3.) It could be lust instead of love, it feels like love..until after you have sex and then loose interest...4.) they got scared of their feelings..or 5.)they didnt feel that you could return it....either way..this guy doesnt sound true at all and you dont need to hear it from his lips, actions speak louder than words. Just take care of yourself and the right one will come along..we all go through hard relationships...you gotta be tough...trust but not 100%..love and care but do not fall....for you can bever be 100% secure with what some appears to be or what they say. Take care.

thefinalw0rd · 05-10-02

That's why I, for one, wait before I use the L-word. I don't necessarily believe in it quite as quickly as many people do. I'll say "I think I do" at first (after a bit, I've only said it once before and that was more than a 2 months in) possibly, but I always wait until I'm sure before I really truely say it...and that only happened once, and as a by product later on of the first thing.

RogueStorm · 05-10-02

thanks for replying,
red- you make alot of sense and about fearing losing a person when they are the one. even if its irrational. but i didn't really think of that before. now it makes sense and i can atleast deal with that issue by recognizing it.
duddy- sorry about what happened to you, thanks for saying you're all here for me. you seemed to grasp the prepare youself idea and that'll help you. i'm slowly learning that as well.
thanks to everyone for posting, reading what you've written has actually helped. :greenalie

thefinalw0rd · 05-10-02

*bows*

Thats why this forum is here. And I know that most people have something to say when it comes to this.

SirVLCIV · 05-10-02

Quote:

Originally posted by thefinalw0rd
That's why I, for one, wait before I use the L-word. I don't necessarily believe in it quite as quickly as many people do. I'll say "I think I do" at first (after a bit, I've only said it once before and that was more than a 2 months in) possibly, but I always wait until I'm sure before I really truely say it...and that only happened once, and as a by product later on of the first thing.

I am the same.

thefinalw0rd · 05-10-02

Yes, you and I seem to have a lot of the same opinions on this...

FreakiDragon · 05-13-02

I don't usually post outside of the poetry forum but this thread caught my eye. Relationships suck to me. I mean, the way I see it, People (like teenagers) only get into a relationship because they want someone there for them. When they say they love you, it's not that they really do. It's more of the fact they love someone THERE for them. I don't know, that's just what I've gotten from it so far. I just got out of a 4 yr relationship with my b/f two days ago. He swears he really does love me. I guess that's why he cheated on me countless times. Like I said, love is shit until you're older.

Sorry if this reply offended anyone...

thefinalw0rd · 05-13-02

*shrug*

True enough I guess. I never said it (the big one time) and didn't mean it though. And everything would've been fine had she not turned into a controlling bitch.

I may turn out to love the girl I'm with, but I'd never say it until I was good and sure. Its tossed too easily during the teens, and I try not to do that.