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Old 03-20-04   #1
Magic Ninjet
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Drunk Stories

I'm sure there are a few swimming around here somewhere and I know Soul Erosion came up with a good one a few weeks ago, but I thought it'd be cool to have a thread dedicated to just talking about drunkenness. So, please share some fun stories with us. :ale:



As for me, I haven't been drunk in agesssssss. I am, however, going out tonight and will have some good stories to share tomorrow. I do have a semi funny one, though, about Gregg on St. Patties Day. He had to work late, so Ariana and I went out to the mall and had a nice dinner together. He came home at like 8 but we still weren't home so him and his best friend Bill went to the Village Tavern next door to my house. Well, he drank way to much "green" beer and came in at quarter after 11, drunk off his ass. First, he tried to set the alarm... that was a trip in itself. So, he finally got it set and laid down in bed. Then he said in a drunken slur, "Don't be mad, all guys get drunk on St. Patrick's Day." Then he puts his arms around me and says," But, all wives don't give head on St. Patties Day... only the really good wives do..." I ignored him and he turned around and said, "Well FINE THEN!" and passed out. What a dumbass.
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Old 03-20-04   #2
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You realize that CHILDREN could be reading this thread? Please keep it in adult.
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Old 03-20-04   #3
Kendra
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I have a few drunk stories. But I don't think I want to shair them.
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Old 03-20-04   #4
Soul Erosion
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My heroin stories are much more entertaining.
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Old 03-20-04   #5
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Should we turn this into a contest? With good and funny drunk stories right along with using heroin stories? I'm kind bored at the moment. So i'm thinking of something to do with this thread.
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Old 03-20-04   #6
Soul Erosion
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uu..I don't have any heroin stories. I know a few smackheads. Heroin=not funny in any form or fashion.


My drunk stories aren't funny. They're humiliating and degrading on all fronts.
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Old 03-20-04   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Erosion
uu..I don't have any heroin stories. I know a few smackheads. Heroin=not funny in any form or fashion.


My drunk stories aren't funny. They're humiliating and degrading on all fronts.
Well the word funny shouldn't have been used. I used the word word by the way. I thank I have one storry that was funny. But my other stories weren't really that funny.
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Old 03-20-04   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thefr0g
You realize that CHILDREN could be reading this thread? Please keep it in adult.

haha

that's the funniest so far
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Old 03-20-04   #9
Magic Ninjet
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thefr0g
You realize that CHILDREN could be reading this thread? Please keep it in adult.

OMG, I didn't even think about that. I'm such a bad influance. You should tie me up and beat me.
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Old 03-20-04   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Erosion


My drunk stories aren't funny. They're humiliating and degrading on all fronts.
Bullshit, I've always had a good chuckle at your stories.
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Old 03-20-04   #11
Soul Erosion
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I got my nipples pierced right after I turned 18. It hurt really fucking bad and every step I took, they'd jiggle just a little, so my friend bought me some vodka and I had about..3-5 drinks...It really doesn't take much for me to get where I need to be. I couldn't even feel my face anymore, let alone my hurting boobies. My friend, Robyn, and I went somewhere and came back to her apartment. As we were walking up, we noticed a group of kids standing in a circle kinda behind one of the buildings, probably smoking pot. Robyn got this look on her face like "ooo..I'm gonna be naughty..." and called out to the guys "You got pot? we got alcohol!" I thought this was all fucking stupid, and I was pretty drunk, so I just went into the house and poured myself another one. While in the kitchen, the people started to walk in (about 8 of them). ALL of them were 13-16....REALLY disgusting. Robyn was standing in the kitchen talking to them asking them which highschools they went to. I wasn't having any of this kiddy shit, so I just went and sat on the couch with my drink.

This bitch Gina was there at Robyn's place. She was 18 too, but she had a 2 year old daughter. I spent the next 30 minutes...drunk... trying to get her daughter into bed, because Gina was too drunk to do it. Her kid refused to allow me to turn off the light or shut the door to the room she was in. She was scared because there were so many people there and she didn't know anybody. I kinda blacked out somewhere in there..don't recall much of it..

Anyway, somehow I ended up back on the couch and there's a kid laying on the sidewalk right outside the door and Robyn's screaming "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT KID DOING ON THE FUCKING GROUND?!" He was just laying there, facedown....not moving.. "He fell" they said.. "well pick him the fuck up and get him off my sidewalk!" I was..really fed up with this shit by now..I didn't see why she didn't just tell all these kids to leave.. Her roommate CJ had also invited some friends over....lotsa people...I turned to a kid next to me who had a full glass of something clear. I said "hey man..is that water..I need a drink or water.." I was..sik of drinking at this point.. He replied "Naw man..it's vodka."

Now what DUMB mother fucker would pour a full glass of vodka...And not just vodka.. MY fucking vodka..that I bought..and this kid stole...cuz I know Robyn wouldn't pour him a GLASS of vodka...I think I called him a dumb shit..and then Gina was in my face with the glass asking me to dare her to "drink it with a straight face" I should really point out that Gina was there because she was kinda seeing Robyn's roommate CJ. CJ was a crackhead. He was known for taking purses, borrowing people's cars for days on end, and showing up after being missing for a few days with blisters on his lips and say "uu..I got in a fight..they're scabs." So Gina couldn't leave because CJ had her car.

After watching Gina drink down that glass and make a really shitty face, and gag on air, I just..went into the bedroom and laid on the bed. I recall making out with Robyn to freak out all the guys in the room...and then it was just me and the kid with the vodka glass from the couch on the bed. I just closed the door and hopped on this do0d. He said his name was Sean, said he was 17 and had had sex 3 times...

CJ's friend Warren was there, and had sex with Gina on the bed right next to us...Then we switched and Sean had sex with Gina, and I had sex with Warren. He was hurting me though, so I bit the shit out of his neck. I remember him screaming and then getting up and walking through the apartment yelling at Robyn "that bitch fucking bit me" Later that night his fiance showed up and broke up with him for the mark on his neck.

Another one of the kids was involved too, but I dunno how..I forget really.

I woke up the next morning with Sean in bed with me. I got him a tortilla and made him eat it, because they were out of bread. I then told him the best thing for a hangover is another beer, and I got him one. He took a sip and ran to the bathroom and threw up the tortilla all over the place. His friends showed up to get him and as he was getting dressed, he opened his wallet and made a weird face. I didn't ask anything about it because frankly I didn't give a fuck. I took a shower and cleaned up Robyn's room a bit...Then we went to go buy a carton of cigs. I opened my purse and found that $100 was missing.

We approached the kids about it and Sean said that $40 was missing out of his wallet too.......

So then I remember that CJ had come into the room while we were having sex, and probably took our cash and left in Gina's car. Gina was still at the house, and her baby needed a new diaper. Really nasty.

And the kid wasn't 17. He was 14, and a virgin. NASTY.



I don't hang with those types anymore. I got lots of rave cave/tweeker stories like that... There's nothing funny about them really..just a long list of fucked up shit happening.

Last edited by Soul Erosion; 03-20-04 at 13:49.
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Old 03-20-04   #12
Magic Ninjet
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Haahaa, Virginity Robber! LOL. Tell another one.
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Old 03-20-04   #13
Soul Erosion
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Even Robyn commented on his big cock. I wonder how big it is now...

I gotta go to work now.....maybe I'll tell you another story later.
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Old 03-20-04   #14
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I wouldnt have told that story, you worthless scum of a human being.
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Old 03-20-04   #15
Magic Ninjet
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isn't that the way you like them, Fr0g?
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Old 03-20-04   #16
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nah, he likes 'em cute and innocent not psuedo-whore.
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Old 03-20-04   #17
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my favorite drunk story
went to a convention in vancouver BC, left early to avoid rush hour, so we hit the hotel around 1pm
we'd picked up 2 40oz bottle of bacardi 151 at the duty free store on the border, so i challenged my friend livia to a shot contest, with me doing 2 shots for every 1 she did.
next think i remember was waking up on the floor of the hotel room wet
"what happened?" i slurred to my friends sitting on the beds
"you passed out on the floor, then after a while, stood up, pulled down your pants, pissed on the floor, then pulled your pants back up and passed out again on the urine soaked carpet"
"fuck" i then crawled into the bathroom, removed the soggy clothes, and flopped into the tub, turned the shower on hot and laid there in a daze for the next hour or so
made it back into the room, and crawled in bed with livia who wasn't quite as smashed as me, but still pretty messed up. started making out with her, and as she told me to go get a condom, i realized it probably wasn't a good idea since she was dating another friend at the time. rolled outta the bed, found my bag and put some clothes on and proceeded to wander throughout the con, most of which i have no memory of to this day, though i do remember when i was presented as a dead philosopher for the scavenger hunt. round about midnight i started feeling hungry, since i had puked up everything in my stomach on a few occasions throughout the night. my friend drove us to burger king, where i spun a yarn about how our order had been fucked up earlier that day and we wanted free food, which we got. drank my shake and ate my burgers, then started feeling intense stomache pain. as soon as we got back to the room i went to the bathroom and started heaving
the interesting thing at this point is that all the stomach acid had already been thrown up, so the food was completely undigested, just mixed with a little saliva. it was by far the thickest vomit i have ever had the misfortune to spew it came out kinda like self service soft serve ice cream
after that i went to bed for the night.
the next night i avoided the hard stuff, but we threw a room party and some people brought bottles of kahlua and baileys, which i mixed with chocolate milk for stomach settling drunkeness. much fun was had by all at the party until the convention security shut us down at 3am, putting the girl braiding my hair in charge of my drunk ass
now at the hotel at the same time was a high school chorus group doing some performance in canada, and the girl in question was 15 year old who had crashed our party with a couple friends. ended up in bed with her making out until 9am when her friends called and said the chaperones were on their way to our room looking for the wayward girl. we rushed her out of there in time, and managed to make it out of canada without further incident
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Old 03-20-04   #18
sixxx(sic)six
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ok.....i got really drunk, one of my first times, and i had just broken up with my girl.....anyway, i;m drunk and horny, and this fat-fucking-ugly-thing comes walking in all Pamela Anderson like, so i was like "oh yeah!"......anyway, we're getting our groove on in my friends bed, naked, i'm fingering some orifice of hers, and she tries to pull me on top of her, but she pulls too hard and throws me off the bed, edging me between the wall, a night stand, and the bed.....then she fell on me, making it worse.....i was so pissed off that i called her a "fat-fucking-whore" and told her to fuck off........thats my number one worst story.....

story 2, got really drunk, don't remeber a thing.....woke up the next morning, puke all over myself, and apparently i set my hair on fire and tried to kill a cat......

story 3, really drunk, wanted to go out for a smoke, so i was jumping the flights of stairs, only i jumped face forward superman style right into the wall.....broke my nose.....then, later that night, i passed out on my bunk, but woke up on the floor......ouch, to say the least....

story 4, last story.......got reall drunk with my folks......spilled my entire life: drugs, alcohol, who i fucked, guys i kissed, etc...........needless to say, my daddy wasn't happy.....mom thought it was hilarious.....
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Old 03-20-04   #19
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The reason I don't party like I used to....

I was at a bar in Germany and celebrating a friend's birthday. We had been drinking beer all day then headed for the club. I had somewhere between 6 and 10 Long Island iced teas then started with the shots of Burbon. I was on shot 12 when someone bought me a hutchen...8oz glass of 50% ausbat and 50% coke. I drank it like a shot and passed out sitting up....faceplanted into the table and broke my nose. I am told I sat right back up and said "I have to go home now" and left. My friends thought I headed to the bathroom cause it was a snowy December night and my coat was still sitting on the chair.

I remember falling down both flights of stairs getting out of the building and then falling/stumbling across the street. I don't remember anything else till the next afternoon.

The entire base was looking for me when I didn't show for work that morning. Turns out I had passed out in a snow drift next to the road and a snowplow had buried me when it drove passed. The snow piled on top of me kept me from freezing to death. I got up and went to my room and showered before heading to work. I thought it was early morning instead of late afternoon. When I got there I was told I was AWOL and that I was in serious trouble.

My blood alcohol level was drawn and still at 0.18 after I had been passed out for over 12 hours.
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Old 03-20-04   #20
Magic Ninjet
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So, yeah, we're all drunk and shit and the webcam is going. Yahoo?
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