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Old 03-03-03   #1
>FuckDoll<
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GM v. Bill

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDE, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
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Old 03-03-03   #2
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good stuff...
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Old 03-03-03   #3
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oo...deja vu... i read this recently.
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Old 03-03-03   #4
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again we waste Gargs server for something that has been posted previously. maybe someone should learn how to use the search function
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Old 03-03-03   #5
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temper temper..
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Old 03-03-03   #6
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maybe you should shut the fuck up.
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Old 03-03-03   #7
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actually Bill Gates was talkng about innovation and the lack thereof at GM, GM was just out to slander him and couldnt stick to the issue unfortunatly. Computers are sketchy a most, all of them crash. Macs included, im on a mac as we speak in my computer lab, and i hate it beyond belief.
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Old 03-03-03   #8
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gm never released this response to anyone, so there's no slander... just an internet joke.
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Old 03-03-03   #9
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you tell him Tozzy, that will really put him in his place
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Old 03-03-03   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tozzy
maybe you should shut the fuck up.
me?
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Old 03-03-03   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by ArSiNiK
gm never released this response to anyone, so there's no slander... just an internet joke.
Bah!
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Old 03-03-03   #12
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http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.htm
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Old 03-03-03   #13
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Re: GM v. Bill

Quote:
Originally posted by >FuckDoll<


6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.


Hilarious.
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Old 03-03-03   #14
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hah. further proof that lobo is not I.
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Old 03-03-03   #15
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no noy you sybelle. wouldnt say that to you.
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Old 03-03-03   #16
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Cool!
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