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Old 06-21-02   #21
thefinalw0rd
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Easy one there: Letting the child starve is natural in that way. They've outgrown their food supply, things are supposed to be back in balance. Abortion, however, is unnatural.
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Old 06-21-02   #22
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Pregnant

Hun... You really need to think on this. Will this guy actually take care and love your child? You are only 16... marriage is a life time commitment. I think the guy needs to go to jail.
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Old 06-21-02   #23
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Alright... I try not to stick my nose into other peoples' lives.. but you kinda opened the door for it here.

This is a bad idea.. Marriages should not be built around pregnancy. I mean, it's pretty obvious that you two weren't even considering getting married before you got preggers, and now that you are, you think he's all gung ho for it... Which he might be.. Right now...

But I guarantee you.. in five or ten years... He's gonna be sitting in his car one day, thinking to himself. "If only I hadn't gotten her pregnant.. I could've gone so far, I could've done so many things.." That's what leads to infidelity and divorce and unhappy marriages and other such things...

Also.. get your story straight.. You said you made him wait a long time for sex... If two months is a long time for sex to him... Then sex was all he really wanted from you.

Sorry, just trying to be a voice of reason here.
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Old 06-21-02   #24
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Vampy...think at least ten times before you decide to keep the baby...

I have two kids myself, a three year old daughter and a son, almost two. Neither were planned. I wasn't really ready to take care of the child either times. But I kept them ou7t of a feeling of loyalty and mothers lovce. I love my babies, more than anything, they are my life. But I still wish I had waited...a lot longer...before I had them.

Taking care of a child is hard work and sacrifice. You can forget about parties, you can forget about social life, you can forget about getting any further than the mailbox without dragging along kid, diapers, bottles, babyfood, extra clothes, napkins, toys, stroller, you name it. It's a project just getting to the store and buy the diapers, which by the way costs the shirt off your back. And you'll need clothes, shoes, toys, bedsheets, furniture, stroller, bottles, soothers, babybooks (you'd want to stimulate your child, right?) etc. I've probably forgotten half here.

The child will keep you awake most of the night on the times you would gladly give your right arm for just a short nap. It will then pursue with being whiney and moody the next day, while you are staggering around dazed and sleep-deprivant. It takes a tremendouds amount of self-control to stay patient on those days, andthey will come. The last thing you need is teenage hormones raging around in your body as well.

Granted, some teenage mothers do a great job. They are completely up to the challenge becoming a parent is. But alas, there are few f them. Most has no idea what they are getting into, the result can in the best cases be a shock for the mother, and a loss of a childhood, in the worst cases a tragedy...for mother and child...

I'm not trying deliberatly to scare you here...but before you decide anything, be fully aware of what you are choosing between. Think...get clear on your hopes and dreams, your wishes, what your heart tells you and what your mind tells you. This is not an easy choice, I've been there myself, though a bit older (barely 21), but it needs to be taken. And you have to know, in your heart and soul, what you want, why you want it, and what the consequences are.

I wish you luck, hunnie...in whatever you do.
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Old 06-21-02   #25
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thanks

thank you again for everyones advice. i think i will end up telling my mother ( obviously she is going to find out anyways) but yes we were planning to gget married before all of this, he proposed on valentines day. and i wont hold him back from anything he wants to do. but i still cannot abort it, adoption i will look into, but i cannot do that. i know there is a lot of world hunger and over-populances out there but i am in a weathly family who can support me unti i can myself, im not going to depend on my parents for my whole life so dont even start with that one. anyways so i am going to talk to my bf and see what he wants to do. he told me he wanted a baby before but now he is going back to college and everything. but yeah, my sister has a two month old and he is soo good with her, he would be a great daddy. anyways thanks, and clear, how old were you when you had your first?? and no he shouldnt go to jail. he is a good guy. no one can help who they fall in love with, who is to say when the best time to fall in love is?? no one, ill post one of my poems i have written about this. thanks again
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Old 06-21-02   #26
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my poem

*love knows no age*

do you like to see me crying,
do you like to see me sad?
this happiness you deprive me of
is something ive never had.

despite what you happen to think,
hes not too old for me.
hes so great and wonderful,
id love him if he was three.

cant i just have my happiness
and everyone leave us alone?
remember when i wasnt happy,
i cut my self to the bone.

you can call me a slut,
and think we are so messed up.
just dont take him away from me,
ill drink poison through a glass cup.

thats right now you heard me,
if because of you hes not in my life,
ill end it any way possible,
hey hand me that knife.
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Old 06-22-02   #27
thefinalw0rd
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Well, good luck, I suppose.

But a question: How long were you going out before he proposed?

Also, by the way, 2 months is not all that long to wait...you can't even be certain that you're entirely secure in a relationship at that point...except in some cases, and even then you'll still have bouts of paranoia (and shit, do I know a lot about that kind of paranoia). My friend's BF only wanted sex...and she made him wait three months...it didn't matter to him, he knew what was coming. He cheated on her twice too, but the main point is that 2 months isn't all that long of a time to wait. I've been with my girlfriend for just under two months, and its flown by (in a good way)...No, two months is very short, in the scheme of things.

The guy needs to think about what he did...one way or the other...even if he gets jailbait-ed and has to do some time. I hope that doesn't sound cruel, but its just the truth...Don't be too optimistic. But don't get yourself depressed either...
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Old 06-22-02   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by thefinalw0rd
Easy one there: Letting the child starve is natural in that way. They've outgrown their food supply, things are supposed to be back in balance. Abortion, however, is unnatural.
What the fuck!
So personally what would you choose? The incredibly slow, painful, death of starvation.
Or being taken away with incredible swiftness, and mercy by a bullet to the head?
I know a bullet isn't the same as an abortion, but still . . .
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Old 06-23-02   #29
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Re: thanks

Quote:
Originally posted by vampyrissofdark
thank you again for everyones advice. i think i will end up telling my mother ( obviously she is going to find out anyways) but yes we were planning to gget married before all of this, he proposed on valentines day. and i wont hold him back from anything he wants to do. but i still cannot abort it, adoption i will look into, but i cannot do that. i know there is a lot of world hunger and over-populances out there but i am in a weathly family who can support me unti i can myself, im not going to depend on my parents for my whole life so dont even start with that one. anyways so i am going to talk to my bf and see what he wants to do. he told me he wanted a baby before but now he is going back to college and everything. but yeah, my sister has a two month old and he is soo good with her, he would be a great daddy. anyways thanks, and clear, how old were you when you had your first?? and no he shouldnt go to jail. he is a good guy. no one can help who they fall in love with, who is to say when the best time to fall in love is?? no one, ill post one of my poems i have written about this. thanks again
I was 21 when I had my first...but...reread my post, ok? And think through it. Read through all the replies, think again, and then you can begin contemplating your decision. This is something that will have such a tremendous effect on your life no matter what you choose to do, so you'll have to think things through thoroughly. You can't make a decision like that on a whim...
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Old 06-26-02   #30
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as to the illeagaility of it, say you drove out of state into a state where 16 is the legal age of consent.....

that'll give you some leeway...

Neon
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