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Old 05-23-02   #1
Set
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Ok, I need some real advice this time.

Here's the story. I have this friend of whom I am attacted to, let's call him "J". (yes, it's a he.......I'm not gay, I'm just not straight. ) Well it was last weekend that "J" and I were both at the same party and he walked off to "clear his head"........needless to say a few moments after he walked away I followed him to see what is wrong. I found him sitting on the front porch and I sat next to him. We started talking (I know that if you talk to someone.....they will come to tell you what's up) and he said that he was having problems with his father. Just as I started to figure out what was wrong the hostess with everyone else in the party came to find us. "J" walked away and after a few moments, I again followed. We started talking again and it turns out his Father beats him. First off, I have nothing but pure hatred for people who beat there children, secondly.....I do kinda have a slight crush on him. Now people of dark forum here is where I need your help, he told me not to tell anyone (with the exception of Jessica (the host) she already knew) and I have kept my promise. But I really want to help and I don't know how to do it. Thus this thread.
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Old 05-23-02   #2
RedMeat
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I dont really know how you can besides just being there for him.You cant confront his father or turn him in as that`ll wreck your friendship or anything else it might turn into.
It might just end up that you`d have to convince this guy that he doesnt deserve to be put through this shit and should either get out of there right away if he can or turn his father in himself.This stuffs always hard to work out.:/
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Old 05-23-02   #3
Moridin
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Quote:
Originally posted by RedMeat
I dont really know how you can besides just being there for him.You cant confront his father or turn him in as that`ll wreck your friendship or anything else it might turn into.
Not to mention it might make matters worse if the donkey cock sucker doesn't get thrown in jail....

Mostly, it's like Red says. Be there, be the best friend you can, be a shoulder to cry on. Advise, but don't push, him to do something about it. And if he doesn't, accept it as his decision.
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Old 05-24-02   #4
Feroluce
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Every situation can be broken down to simple choices, all you have to do is remove al the emotional content and there it is.

The real questions here are

1 Can you help him alone?
2 Do you know someone who can?

The main thing you have to ask your self here is
Which is more important, helping him out or keeping him as a friend?

Would you prefer an emotionally well adjusted friend or one who is dependant on you as a shoulder to cry on?
Would you prefer an emotionally well adjusted person leaning on your shoulder?

No moral judgement here, you know the full details of the situation but just try removing all emotion and looking at it logically and see if a solution presents itself.
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Old 05-26-02   #5
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I have been Through the same thing on both ends

I know how it feels to be beat and not want any one to know and i have also been on the other end of it. (had friends who have had the same problem.) but how old is he? cause if he is close to 18 he needs to get out of there but i realy dont know what to say cause i got sucked into the system (Foster care) and the system and the way they do things suck. so all i can do is offer my saport to you. I agree. i hate people who harm there kids as well whether its mentaly sexualy or physically. so if ya ever need any thing i am here..........
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