Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions
Home Register FAQ
Go Back   Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions > Welcome > Socialize
Reload this Page Something to offend everyone.
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-23-01   #1
Duddy
Bacon
 
Duddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 8,029
Duddy
Credits: 128,079
Something to offend everyone.

1. What's the Cuban national anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

2. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

3. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.

4. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

5. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.

6. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future, either.

7. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying, "Yo."

8. What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

9. Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

10. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

11. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say fuck
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, "BINGO!"

12. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...
__________________
Heyoooooooooooo
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-01   #2
Evil Cheese fry
cheese gone wrong
 
Evil Cheese fry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: your mind and thats a very sick place
Posts: 3,585
Evil Cheese fry
Credits: 35,214
none of that affended me....
__________________
"Thou hast bred hate where there dwelt none
And for this grave mistake
How thou art fallen Morning Sun
The proud will be abased"

He would not heel nor fake a bow
Murmur curses to the wind
And lo, the wrath of god swept down...

"Thou art no more an angel filled
With light, but a leech to be abhorred
And thou shalt suffer My burning will"...
Quoth this raven: "Nevermore"

Nevermore
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-01   #3
Metagion
Judgement At Last!
 
Metagion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Providence, RI
Posts: 7,508
Metagion will become famous soon enough
Credits: 114,654
Duddy!

I'll go further:

Why is Italy shaped like a boot?
They couldn't fit all that shit in a sneaker!

Why is Cuba not in the Olympics?
Anyone that can swim, jump or run is already here!

What's the first English phrase Mexicans learn?
"Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

Why don't Polish women breastfeed?
Hurts to boil the nipples!


More as time warrants...
__________________
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-01   #4
xXDaRkDrEaMzXx
Too Deep For Tears
 
xXDaRkDrEaMzXx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: I live in my room,where I feel safe and secluded from civilization...
Posts: 3,202
xXDaRkDrEaMzXx
Credits: 26,100
LOL!! Those are good hun!! I made sure not to take the Italian ones to heart though :p
__________________
"Dont try to fix me, I'm not broken" -Evanescence "Hello"

-Anything worth having-
-Is worth waiting for-

'Cause I don't have pet peeves, I have major psycotic fuckin hatreds.
-George Carlin

is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-01   #5
Metagion
Judgement At Last!
 
Metagion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Providence, RI
Posts: 7,508
Metagion will become famous soon enough
Credits: 114,654
Darkdreams, deah!!!

Don't worry deah...I'm 1/2 Italian myself, and I don't care...and I'm also 1/2 French Canadian, which means I can eat and drink better than everyone...lol!!!

I have a few more:


How do you know an Italian's been through your yard?
The sewer cap's open and the dog's pregnant!

Why don't Polish people eat pickles?
Can't get their head in the jar!

How can you tell you're at a Polish party?
The punch bowl flushes!

What do you call a Hawaiian prostitute?
K'mon-Iwanna-laya
__________________
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-01   #6
Evil Cheese fry
cheese gone wrong
 
Evil Cheese fry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: your mind and thats a very sick place
Posts: 3,585
Evil Cheese fry
Credits: 35,214
polish people do eat pickles though....
__________________
"Thou hast bred hate where there dwelt none
And for this grave mistake
How thou art fallen Morning Sun
The proud will be abased"

He would not heel nor fake a bow
Murmur curses to the wind
And lo, the wrath of god swept down...

"Thou art no more an angel filled
With light, but a leech to be abhorred
And thou shalt suffer My burning will"...
Quoth this raven: "Nevermore"

Nevermore
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-01   #7
Metagion
Judgement At Last!
 
Metagion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Providence, RI
Posts: 7,508
Metagion will become famous soon enough
Credits: 114,654
Evil Cheese Fry

Quote:
Originally posted by Evil Cheese fry
polish people do eat pickles though....

I know...my sister-in-law is Polish, and she does.

But what we have here is a JOKE, doll. Not meant to be figured out.


:p
__________________
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-01   #8
Evil Cheese fry
cheese gone wrong
 
Evil Cheese fry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: your mind and thats a very sick place
Posts: 3,585
Evil Cheese fry
Credits: 35,214
lol i know
__________________
"Thou hast bred hate where there dwelt none
And for this grave mistake
How thou art fallen Morning Sun
The proud will be abased"

He would not heel nor fake a bow
Murmur curses to the wind
And lo, the wrath of god swept down...

"Thou art no more an angel filled
With light, but a leech to be abhorred
And thou shalt suffer My burning will"...
Quoth this raven: "Nevermore"

Nevermore
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-01   #9
Dark-female
The Muffinator
 
Dark-female's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: San Martin, CA
Posts: 410
Dark-female
Credits: 8,260
Hell, those are great:p . i wasn't affeneded though lol I'm proud to be a drunk irish women.!!
hmm, I wonder if mexicans are also told to say "get in, where to and pay up".

Duddy, if you want to offend people on ths forum make fun of prostitutes. (lol only joking, that was offensive in itself wasn't it?)

-Dark-female
__________________
I watch as darkness transends, the huanting smoke of their decaying bodies calls to my soul with ever lasting feeling. I sigh with happiness and shovel another dead corpse into the flames.
-Dark-female
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-01   #10
head doc
motherfucking magician
 
head doc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: amidst the sorostitutes
Posts: 1,404
head doc
Credits: 17,527
Haha, those are completely nuts.
__________________
It's something you'll get used to.
A mental mindfuck can be nice.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.




is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-01   #11
Dark_Insanity
Thy Raven Wings
 
Dark_Insanity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Manchester/Hull England
Posts: 1,260
Dark_Insanity
Credits: 27,173
LOL!!! I'm also left unoffended, I'm not any of those things and you managed not to do any Brit jokes! (Damn I've just left a gap there for you to make a joke haven't I!?!?!)
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-01   #12
THE DEACON
Lord Of The Dance
 
THE DEACON's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The "United" Kingdom
Posts: 881
THE DEACON
Credits: 8,730
Heres One.....

President Bush calls Superman and says;
"Superman, where were you on September the 11th?"

Superman says;
"Leave me alone, I'm in a wheelchair."


And one more, don't know what you call arm bands in the US tho.

Whats orange and red, and bobs up and down?

A baby with busted arm bands.
__________________
Hello my children... welcome to my flock, everyone's welcome here.. some ask if i'm a follower of God.. 'Well', I say to them, 'There is Dark and Light, and one cannot live without the other' - And in this way I introduce them to my methods.. yes, my methods.. sometimes they are painful but they show the true light, and their truth is already there before I work to ease your soul of it's troubles, yes, you must feel the truth within you, the truth that is I... yes, i'm sure you feel it tugging at your chest.. u feel it, the connection.. don't worry, don't be afraid.. i've always been with you.. always been within you...


The Deacon, he tends his flock wherever he walks, he's got a neat line in mind control and psyonics, a real man with the visions.. be careful with this guy, his followers are everywhere and they seem to be linked...

is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-01   #13
ArSiNiK
beer 12fl.oz (355ml)
 
ArSiNiK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: redondo beach, ca
Posts: 29,624
ArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these parts
Credits: 28,466
haha... those are all pretty good.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-01   #14
Jarekk
21st Century Digital Boy
 
Jarekk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: De Nile.
Posts: 3,155
Jarekk is on a distinguished road
Credits: 84,437
Quote:
Originally posted by Dark_Insanity
LOL!!! I'm also left unoffended, I'm not any of those things and you managed not to do any Brit jokes! (Damn I've just left a gap there for you to make a joke haven't I!?!?!)
That's because Brits are WAAAAYY too easy a taget...

It's not fun anymore.

(j/k.)
__________________
there are only 10 kinds of people in the world: those that can read binary, and those that can't.

you know what? i still want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket. (%)
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-01   #15
Pyrric Dicktory
fuck off
 
Pyrric Dicktory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 7,746
Pyrric Dicktory is on a distinguished road
Credits: 86,393
when i was still up in philly i was in a predomenatly italian neiborhood. (im about 95% italian if you cant figure it out from my pic.) my family used to sit around and try and make fun of the polish and irish. i wish i could remember some of the jokes. they were basic harmless 2 liners. they were good though.
__________________
Im so in love of my baby girl
Christel i love you sweetheart u are the light of my life today and always.

JUST ME AND YOU FOREVER.............................
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Recent Threads
sup oezoem we mished you
4 Days Ago 22:02
Last post by Sic Simon
4 Days Ago 00:19
Hey fr0g
10-20-17 02:49
Last post by Sic Simon
4 Days Ago 21:47
Fuck Snow
6 Days Ago 03:36
Last post by Sic Simon
4 Days Ago 21:46
Science Disproves...
11-01-10 15:38
by Pahu
Last post by Pahu
4 Days Ago 10:04
What Are you Listening...
03-21-05 07:40
By Cucking Funt
Last post by Sic Simon
5 Days Ago 21:32
are you gonna eat your...
11-01-17 01:43
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 03:45
Things that I'm not...
10-30-05 21:09
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 00:51
basic earthling rights
07-17-14 22:08
Last post by Sic Simon
2 Weeks Ago 22:11
Where are the tits?
3 Weeks Ago 20:38
Last post by Sic Simon
3 Weeks Ago 21:33
Obama sends a letter.
10-19-17 22:42
Last post by Sic Simon
3 Weeks Ago 14:09
Online Users: 40
0 members and 40 guests
No Members online
Most users ever online was 1928, 06-09-15 at 19:20.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0 RC2


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com

© 2006 - 2016 Dark Forum | About Dark Forum | Advertisers | Investors | Legal | A member of the Crowdgather Forum Community