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Old 10-23-01   #1
Jesus H. Christ
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Jesus H. Christs Church Of Stand Up Comedy!

welcome to my chuch my children this is a place of happyness and fun where you can crack up, have good clean fun, and do good clean stand up comedy jokes!


*jesus gets on stage and does some jokes*


why did the chicken cross the road...?


to get to the other side! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!


knock! knock!

whos there?

jesus...

jesus who?

jesus christ!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


thank you, thank you you'r great!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!
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Old 10-23-01   #2
posthuman
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....

you're not.....
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Old 10-23-01   #3
Duddy
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Hi Vannaken. Go away, little boy.
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Old 10-23-01   #4
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blinks, u suk!
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Nevermore
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Old 10-23-01   #5
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Leave him alone, he tried his best with what he thought was funny but just a sugestion to him: put it in religion.
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And the dead shall walk.
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Old 10-24-01   #6
Loki96x
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Jesus, you suck shit!

You want a Joke!?

I'll tell you guys a Joke!!

A Boy and his Father are walking down the sidewalk together, when they both come upon two Chihuahuas doing it Doggy style in someone's yard. Weeeell! The Boy looks up at his Father and says, "Daddy? What are those do doggies doing?" The Father looks at the two Dogs, and then back at his son... He gets a look of frustration on his face because he believes his Son is much too young to know what those two animals are really doing... So he replies to his Son, "Well, my boy! They are making a Puppy!" And the Son smiles and says, "Oh! That's nice!" And so, they finish up their walk and go back home.

Later that night, after everyone has gone to bed... The Father is ramming Mommy like he's a combustion engine that just had some NO2 squirted into his pistons, and Mommy is screaming like a bat out of hell, when all of a sudden.......The Son opens up to door and the Father and the Mother stop! The little boy looks up at his Father and says, "Daddy? What are you and Mommy doing?" And well, of course since the Father felt uncomfortable telling his son what they were really doing... So he replies, "Well, my Son, we're making you a Baby brother!"

And the Son frowns and says, "Well, turn Mommy over! I'd rather have a Puppy!"

Merry Fuckin' Christmas!

Holloween is almost here!!! Yippi-KiYay, Motherfuckers!! Woohoo!
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Old 10-25-01   #7
xXDaRkDrEaMzXx
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Quote:
Originally posted by Loki96x
Jesus, you suck shit!

You want a Joke!?

I'll tell you guys a Joke!!

A Boy and his Father are walking down the sidewalk together, when they both come upon two Chihuahuas doing it Doggy style in someone's yard. Weeeell! The Boy looks up at his Father and says, "Daddy? What are those do doggies doing?" The Father looks at the two Dogs, and then back at his son... He gets a look of frustration on his face because he believes his Son is much too young to know what those two animals are really doing... So he replies to his Son, "Well, my boy! They are making a Puppy!" And the Son smiles and says, "Oh! That's nice!" And so, they finish up their walk and go back home.

Later that night, after everyone has gone to bed... The Father is ramming Mommy like he's a combustion engine that just had some NO2 squirted into his pistons, and Mommy is screaming like a bat out of hell, when all of a sudden.......The Son opens up to door and the Father and the Mother stop! The little boy looks up at his Father and says, "Daddy? What are you and Mommy doing?" And well, of course since the Father felt uncomfortable telling his son what they were really doing... So he replies, "Well, my Son, we're making you a Baby brother!"

And the Son frowns and says, "Well, turn Mommy over! I'd rather have a Puppy!"

Merry Fuckin' Christmas!

Holloween is almost here!!! Yippi-KiYay, Motherfuckers!! Woohoo!

That one is old as hell...but I still get a kick outta it...:p


And it's much better then Jesus H./Vann's jokes...
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Old 10-25-01   #8
Loki96x
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Here's another... This is more my style...

A Doctor sits a patient down and says, "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news."

The Guy asks, "What's the bad news?"

"You have inoperable brain cancer", replies the doctor.

"SHIT!" the guy shouts. "Well...What's the good news then?"

"See my hot new receptionist over there? I'm banging her."
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Old 10-26-01   #9
Chronos
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ok, ok, i got one...

a doctor was being indictied for sexual assualt on his patients. his secretary pulls him aside, completly aghast at what he's done. "doctor, how could you do that to them??" she asks. The doctor replies: " look, it's not the first time a doctor has screwed his patients, and it won't be the last." the secretary looks confused, and says "but doctor, your a veterinarian!!"

i feel sorry for the poor kitties and dogs.....
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Old 10-27-01   #10
Loki96x
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Hahaha! That was great!
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Old 10-29-01   #11
The Necromancer
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HELP! I THINK THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME! I thought the first dude's post were hilarious!

To get to the other side? That is so funny you CAN'T make that stuff up!

Um... seriously though? How about this:

On the 16th hole of the golf course, Fred had hit his ball into the woods. Harry, his partner had laughed and poked fun, but then somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods, just a few yards beyond. Fred looked for a long time, getting angrier every minute. Finally, in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups, he found his ball. Instead of just continuing the game, he took his club and thrashed every single buttercup in that patch.

Suddenly, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?! Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life.....better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.....as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"

Then POOF!...she was gone.

After Fred got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, "Harry!..Harry! Where are you?"

Harry yells, "I'm over here, in the pussy willows."

Fred screams back "DON'T SWING! FOR GOD'S SAKE! DON'T SWING!"

Its a lil' late for me however...
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Old 10-29-01   #12
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This one's gonna get me hated...

What do you say to a feminist with no arms or legs?


Nice tits.
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